Never had a girlfriend at 29 years old

[Jordi84]

You, my friend, are remarkable

Apparently what for you is natural or very easy for me it's not, so what?

 

[Trump]

It's more common than you think. I was in that situation until about 28.

Here is the best advice I can give you. I won't sugar-coat any of it .

1. Stop looking for some little flaw that is preventing you from getting women. I wasted years doing this. There either isn't one or you won't find it anyway*.

2. Don't discuss your dating challenges with people in your social circle. Keep it to yourself. They aren't going to help you even if they have good intentions. It can only hurt your reputation with women. It's better to have women wonder why you don't have a gf or even wonder if you're gay than hear from their gfs that you are having trouble in this area. Even once you have successes, keep it quiet. The best ladies men keep their mouths shut.

3. *Optimize your look. Women are shallow. You can't avoid the looks issue. Work out. Most importantly, get a sexy hairstyle. My situation didn't turn around until I went with a messy/spiky style. I'm not suggesting a particular style, but get a good hair stylist. Maybe a hot chick or a stylish guy. Not a middle aged lady who will make you look like a "nice guy."

You can absolutely turn this around. I hope this helps.

Damn bro good stuff. Love number #2.

 

[Jordi84]

Damn bro good stuff. Love number #2.

Sounds fun but many of the people who didn't use to know me in my youth think that the reason why I don't have a girlfriend and I don't talk a lot about my sexual life is because I'm a sort of old fashioned player, discreet but very active.

I used to think it was just a slight way of making fun of me, but after I moved and changed city a couple of times I realized often different kind of people end to think that.

Sad.

 

[Mike32ct]

Sounds fun but many of the people who didn't use to know me in my youth think that the reason why I don't have a girlfriend and I don't talk a lot about my sexual life is because I'm a sort of old fashioned player, discreet but very active.

I used to think it was just a slight way of making fun of me, but after I moved and changed city a couple of times I realized often different kind of people end to think that.

Sad.

I'm not necessarily saying you should or have to become a player. I'm not even necessarily saying to try to look like a player. The point is to keep that mystery so women WONDER about you.

I was so obsessed with trying to find out what was "wrong" with me (like #1), that I asked all kinds of people for help/feedback. I figured maybe somebody would have the answer. But it was the worst thing I could have done. Had I just kept my mouth shut about it (#2), some girls probably would have been curious about me and possibly interested.

I'm not trying to project my former situation into yours . I'm just sharing what I learned the hard way.

 

[Jordi84]

I'm not necessarily saying you should or have to become a player. I'm not even necessarily saying to try to look like a player. The point is to keep that mystery so women WONDER about you.

I was so obsessed with trying to find out what was "wrong" with me (like #1), that I asked all kinds of people for help/feedback. I figured maybe somebody would have the answer. But it was the worst thing I could have done. Had I just kept my mouth shut about it (#2), some girls probably would have been curious about me and possibly interested.

I'm not trying to project my former situation into yours . I'm just sharing what I learned the hard way.

Your help is very appreciated, don't let me be misunderstood!

I was just saying that I already avoid talking about this with people, I don't like to be seen as a weirdo (as I do with myself and other people like me, lol)

 

[Alvafe]

if your firends and girls think you are a player and keep things in the dark that is a good thing, at least they think you are doing something, but don't know what, that is the mystery part going for you. now you need to get your courage in place and start to talk with more girls

 

[Jordi84]

if your firends and girls think you are a player and keep things in the dark that is a good thing, at least they think you are doing something, but don't know what, that is the mystery part going for you. now you need to get your courage in place and start to talk with more girls

I regularly talk with girls, the problem is that I cannot go beyond that... Girls for me are always acquaintances, colleagues, friends, schoolmates, but I never manage to transform them in something more

 

[RedZone]

It's not that hard. Lets say you see a girl in class you find attractive. Stike up a conversation to get aquinted with them. Now you'll be on a first name basis. Then all you have to do is "I usually go to XYZ on Friday night with a few friends. You and your friends should come next time we go. Ill let you know when we do."

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Well I assume at least the OP is already in his Career job already, had his **** together or at least very close to

 

[Jordi84]

Well I assume at least the OP is already in his Career job already, had his **** together or at least very close to

Yes I can say that in my job I'm quite successful and appreciated...

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Yes I can say that in my job I'm quite successful and appreciated...

Does your job require college education?

 

[Alvafe]

less about his job more about his atitude, if he just good for his job a gold digger will nail his fingers on him and he will start to think he is the luckyes guy in the world, nothing more sad then a dude marry the first woman he had sex with just for lack of options.

Jordi I guess your problem is escalation, go to the bible and read the escalation there, belive that is you main problem, look around too see how guy around you try to land on woman, thinks I do now I would never do younger because I though that was desperate, with now its just part of the game

 

[Jordi84]

Does your job require college education?

Yes, why?

 

[Jordi84]

less about his job more about his atitude, if he just good for his job a gold digger will nail his fingers on him and he will start to think he is the luckyes guy in the world, nothing more sad then a dude marry the first woman he had sex with just for lack of options.

Jordi I guess your problem is escalation, go to the bible and read the escalation there, belive that is you main problem, look around too see how guy around you try to land on woman, thinks I do now I would never do younger because I though that was desperate, with now its just part of the game

Thank you for your advice...! Where can I find escalation topic in the bible?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

To the OP, I would try going out more, that's the burden us guys were dealt with, having to put ourselves out there more

 

[Jordi84]

To the OP, I would try going out more, that's the burden us guys were dealt with, having to put ourselves out there more

I work in public relations, I'm always out, for my job and for pleasure.. But the problem still remains...

 

[Mike32ct]

Thanks. #2 cannot be overemphasized. It's not a problem for the OP, but I wanted to remind other guys of this. Women love gossip material, especially if it's negative stuff about a guy's dating life or lack thereof. It doesn't matter if he's a player who is going through a rough patch/dry spell or a guy who has always struggled with women.

Women you know might seem like they want to help you, give you advice, or even set you up with someone, but most of the time, they are doing intel gathering for their next gossip mission.

Plenty of guys have good intentions but will still eventually share what you tell them to female friends, so they can't really be trusted either.

So while yeah, looks matter, as noted in #3, I think a guy's reputation is also critical. That's the whole point of #2.


The best advice is to have one trusted guy friend OUTSIDE of your regular circle. That's what I have these days. It's someone you can to "vent" to privately.

Solid gold.

Especially the second point.

In fact, women can act as a hindrance rather than a help.

Especially if you were somewhat of a player in the past.

They will relish your fall from grace.

I've had a few girls claim they were setting me up with their friends.

Only to find out later they were relaying stories of my failures with women.

Rather than focusing on the Leper's good points and past successes.

Can't have any man going against the blue pill mindset of "girlfriend or bust" now can we!

Sometimes sticking to point 2 can be difficult.

Especially if you are close with people who form part of your social circle.

To the point where they know many of your comings and goings anyway.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

I am extroverted, I got different kind of friends, a good job and I try to attend as many as possible social occasions where I can meet new people...

^ That is a golden head start right there. I was a shy person, and had a long hard battle to break through it - you my friend are already there.

Having a variation of friends is fantastic and very important, along with getting out.

I feel like I'm failing in something that is really easy for everyone just because I'm missing a very little but essential detail, which I don't know or I don't realise.

No, it's not easy for everyone. If it was this forum wouldn't exist. It's a case of trial and error, the only thing you are failing in is a fight with yourself.

With women, there is no such thing as failure, only mistakes that you can learn from. A lot of the time women are either unfit for purpose or are just faulty goods that need returning to the ego factory.

A couple of months ago I started to read readings like the Book of the Pook and I find it very useful, my self esteem improved

but yet I cannot see any progression, and this is very frustrating.

It doesn't work like that. What you are saying is like reading a book on how to drive a car (without ever doing it) and then expecting to be a pro-racing driver. It just doesn't happen that way, there are so many things that you will find out for yourself.


It seems to me (my opinion from my own experiences) that you just need to get used to being more intimate with the ladies

At your gym (yes you should be at one if your not) take some classes that involve pairing up and choose a chick, you are very outgoing so why not try some dance classes like salsa?

What the heck, if you have some spare cash go to a strip club and get a dance of the hottest chick.

Get touchy feely with women, I even do this with my friends's mum They all love it if you do it in a fun light-hearted way (not the creepy-pervy way)... and some will do the same back!

Just a little bit of adjustment and you will be on your way.

All respect to you, being in this situation at 29 doesn't make you less of a person.

 

[Alvafe]

Thank you for your advice...! Where can I find escalation topic in the bible?

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

main link you shoul read all of it if possible, read let it sink, ponder about past experiences see if you understand what you did wrong and go and try the new way

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I wonder, do you think for every male late bloomer forever loner there is a female late bloomer, forever loner as well? Or do you think there are far more human male late bloomers, forever loners?