Never dated a girl like this. What to do?

[tweeder]

Thanks for the advice WildThang. I agree that I should be careful in pursuing this woman, but I feel that I have. She doesn't really present herself as much of a "challenge" to me. She tells me constantly that she likes me, thinks I'm hot, nice, etc. So it's not much of a guessing game there.

The only challenge I have is knowing how much DJ skills to use on her.

And we share everything in common. It's scary really. We have the same religion, but she is a little more devoted than I am. So it's not just her looks either. Despite all of this I am still avoiding diving into this thing 100 percent at least for a little while. Thanks again for the advice.

 

[WildThang]

Originally posted by tweeder:
Thanks for the advice WildThang. I agree that I should be careful in pursuing this woman, but I feel that I have. She doesn't really present herself as much of a "challenge" to me. She tells me constantly that she likes me, thinks I'm hot, nice, etc. So it's not much of a guessing game there.

The only challenge I have is knowing how much DJ skills to use on her.

And we share everything in common. It's scary really. We have the same religion, but she is a little more devoted than I am. So it's not just her looks either. Despite all of this I am still avoiding diving into this thing 100 percent at least for a little while. Thanks again for the advice.

No - this is not what I meant by 'challenge'.

Look at it this way - you are *already thinking* 'Hey - she likes me! All this attention - I like it. I want more... But what do I need to do to get this girl? Am I going to do it right? What does she want from me? What did those other guys do wrong? How can I be sure she won't treat me the same?'

That's the problem. *You are already on the defensive here.* And this is what AFCs do and think. Their focus is all on what the girl wants to hear from them, what they can say that will win her, and all of that crap.

The real question is - does being around this woman make you happy? Do you have the time of your life with her? Does spending time with her add something to an already packed and happy life right away? Or are you thinking 'Hey - one day we'll get to have sex. One day maybe she'll marry me. One day...'

You see the difference? It's about *you*. It's not what you have in common. It's how you feel with her *now* that counts.

If you really can say 'Yes, I am having the time of my life with this person here and now' then you're onto to something great. Then I'd suggest surprising her one day with the chivalry thing, going for some kino, and - from what you've said - you're in.

But if you can't say that - if you're thinking about how the relationship *might* look, one day, if you're lucky, and you say and do exactly the right things between now and then - then that's a big red flag. This is not somewhere you want to be.

 

[DJintheworks]

tweeder,
ill try to explain where i am at. So I hadn't seen this girl in about a year. She came over to my friends dorm and left shortly after but i was super nice to her and she was real receptive because last time we had seen each other I was kinda the jerky sort of high school jock. So after I watched the simpsons I asked my friends about her and they say she is very straight and hasn't even kissed a guy (but I hear that plenty of dudes want her) since she has been in college this semester(shes 1 year younger) So they sat down to watch a movie and I just went over to her pad, talked, then it justed happened I put my newly aquirred DJ skills into place and got to second base with the goody good girl.
So Im in a different situation than you are tweeder but with the same kind of girl.
In order to be successful with this girl, I am going to have to let her know that I am interested in her and that I am not playing around with her. This is tough because if i act like too much of a challenge she will see through it and think i am playing her (shes smart , pre med like her dad) and if I let her know I really like her then I come across as a total p^ss and I lose her then too. Tweeder or Wildthang, do you guys know any lines or tips that can help me thread the needle through this fine line? It's a tough situation.

 

[DJintheworks]

so does anyone have any good tips on how to trick or convince a goody girl into thinking that you are not just playing them but really like them, without sounding like a doormat????

 

[DJintheworks]

alright since nobody knows how to trick a goody girl into thinking that you really like them without sounding like a p*ssy. Tonight I am just going to act like I barely care what she does and hopefully she will want to get on me, just like your ordinary gutter b*tch.