Never been in this position before

[jaybeezi]

I have recently started to go out with a few different females since coming to this site, and have new problems, I am a "nice guy" and there is this one lady I am seeing, she is 28(I think) and has lived here for a year and a half (she has a child in thailand) and really likes me.

She looks really good, face 8 body 9, and I would love to "get with her" one night soon and probably could (i'm a virgin btw) but I dont want to hurt her, it seems like she wants a very LTR, and that is not what I want at all, i'm just starting to get into this and want to have a good time, I dont see the age difference working out, she doesnt mind, but I just dont know what to do.

Tell her right off the bat that I dont want a LTR, or what? I dont know exactly what she wants, but i'm pretty sure. While I would lovvvvvve nothing more than to be with her for a night, I really dont want to hurt her. Damn this caring about other people damnit.

 

[ManOMan]

Yea I have this problem too!

I seem to think every girl I have sex with and leave, is going to feel hurt or abandoned

Im in the same boat as you, so I have no real words of solid advice

but thoughts that get me through it are

#1 If you dont sex her, someone else will (someone who doesnt care about morals)

#2 What if sex is all she wants??

#3 Love and Hurt is a part of every human relationship, so why not just go for it and learn from the experience?



amd #4 she is in Thailand! you are in CA! you could always use the geography exucuse

 

[jaybeezi]

lol, nah, she used to live in Thailand, and she has a kid there, but she's been here for like a year and a half.

 

[xblitz44x]

Be upfront with her. Even if you don't come out and say "I don't want a relationship", at least make it known that you are too young and don't have plans to settle down. Or find another girl that has the same expectations as you. The pvssy that you get won't be worth the damage recovery and crap that you'll have to deal with after the fact when she realizes that she's going to lose you. It' really it's worth the aggrivation.

I used to be all about nailing chicks even when they presumed that I was open to settling down if things worked out. Then I'd bang them, and they'd find out I'm banging other girls and they'd be hurt and I'd have to clean it up. It wasn't even the 'dealing with it' that bothered me more than realizing that i'm hurting people just to get my d1ck wet.

As I grew up, and matured, and became more comfortable with myself, I realized that I was better than that. My game, and me as a person, were better than to have to trick people into it. If a woman and I had different expectations I could respect hers and cut my losses and find a woman who wants the same things that I do.

So you can cling to her and hurt her and deal with the shyt afterward just because it's *something*, or you could go out there and find somebody who wants the same thing as you and enjoy it without regret.

 

[WaterTiger]

I agree with xblitz44x, be honest with her. That saves her the heartache and you the guilt. You might be surprised and she might take you up on the "one night of passion" thing. If she refuses you then at least you can move on with a clear consience.
If she says yes....use a condom and go for it!