Then things are clear and you know how to respond to what she said
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Never Ask To Become Exclusive
- Thread starter Anti-Dump
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Rainman4707
Master Don Juan
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- Dec 30, 2012
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- 1,723
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Depends. Go by their actions, not so much what they say. A lot of women say that they only date one man and they are seeing multiple guys.
If she is'nt putting out, im finding it elsewhere.
2 dates does seem like a red flag and it can be a test.
With that said, not sure how old your date is but older women generally know more of what they want and what they see. They realize the grass isn't always greener on the other side. But also they are less marketable and have most likely have gone through the CC at some point or have been pumped and dumped one too many times than they care for.
As usual go by her actions as others have said. If she is giving you the focus, effort, attention, affection that shows that she is able to go "all in" with you and you like her and the way she treats you, it's not going to be a deal breaker to see where two of you can go.
The downside of not multi-dating and putting all your eggs in one basket is potential loss of time/opportunity/ that you can have with others, but also getting clingy/possessive/oneitis(negatives).
The upside of not multi-dating is you're able to focus and put forth more effort into a specific individual to foster the environment for growth that you may not have splitting your efforts amongst many.
Ask yourself if spending 1-2 months with her to get to know her will make or break anything going on in your life?
Alternatively, you can be coy and be a player and tell her whatever she wants to hear to keep her hooked.
Those are your basic two choices.
bcude
Master Don Juan
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- May 31, 2019
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- 762
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- 44
I got the exact same sentence from an ex, a couple of dates later than you. She wants to tell you that she's looking for something serious and wants to feel you out if she's going to invest more emotions in you or not. Lots of women can't stand the fact that you're dating around while seeing them, that's what they say however.
She's not asking for you exclusivity yet, she's more feeling you out with serious intentions in the back of her mind.
No shame in saying something like: "i enjoy being single but like the feeling i have with you so far. It's still early days so let's see where this is going.."
Just don't tell her that you're only seeing her when in reality you don't. Never lie, but you don't have to give her full disclosure either.
KindredSpiritzz
Senior Don Juan
im 54 shes 47. Apparently she was with a guy for 23 yrs,( not married) before she left cause he was an alcoholic and she'd had enough, then she was with a guy for 3 yrs before he became a rabid trump supporter and she couldnt take that, then a few online dates and me.
She seems like a great gal, sweet, pretty so i dont mind taking the time to get to know her. I just don't trust women in general so im wary her true colors will come out eventually. Only thing that bothers me is she has nothing in life beyond a decent vehicle and sex, hopefully she can cook too.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Personally, I think she must be doing something right if she can hold down LTR's. Plus if what she says is true, it doesn't seem like she has ridden the CC yet and maybe less bitter or jaded because of it. I usually find gals that are willing to be with a trump supporter for any length of time when they are not, to be somewhat open minded and flexible on things. These two attributes lends itself to better LTR potential.
I mean at that age, what kinds of things are you looking for a woman to have going on in her life? If she has kids, her kids are her life priority(or should be) and have her job on cruise control to get a paycheck and provide stability for her family.
Mister_Skinny_Jeanz
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2020
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- 520
- Reaction score
- 426
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- 33
Fail. we are not worried about ''losing'' anything
if she doesnt ask , we dont care.
if she goes with the other guy then thats fine ,she wont be missed. we still got plates over on this side.
her ego wouldnt allow for a healthy exclusive thing anyway.
plus we dnt wanna give up ANY energy..... we already know she gets hit on constantly on social media , at the grocery store at school or work. so we cant be asking..... she has the cards as far as that goes ... it has to be her.
KindredSpiritzz
Senior Don Juan
well all her kids are older, her 20 yr old son does still live with her but works and helps pay bills so i think its more a convenience thing that anything else. Just figured at that age she'd have her own house or at least nice furniture. She lives in a very small 2 bedroom house she rents, a tad dumpy. Hell im poor but i have vacation property, motorcycle, boat, nice house, hot tub out back, wood stove inside and tons of "stuff? Just thought she'd have more in life by now but who knows maybe she has a big bank account i don't know about.
Not that i really care about what she has but i think you know what i mean.
I know plenty of women that doesn't have those but it doesn't make them a bad person. People are where they're at for various reasons. I wouldn't ding her for not having certain materialistic possessions by her age.
Also remember that (older generation)women are generally less financially savvy than guys. Also some women prefer experiences and premium products over owning materialistic things. I know some gals that still rent and don't own much but they have travelled to many countries. It depends on the individual and where they want to put their money at.