Never argue with a woman!

[Lishy]

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to
take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'


'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.



MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also
think.:moon:

 

[MacAvoy]

Good one.

 

[DJDamage]

What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar?
- A love call.

What's the speed limit of sex?
- 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

What's the ultimate rejection?
- When you're jerking off and your hand falls asleep.

- Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means ,
"With Idiot For Ever !!!"

- Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

- Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs???
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

 

[DavenJuan]

..then after thinking for a bit, he decided to turn back around and confront the women since he was not use to "thinking" women...

the warden pulled up to the womens boat and said " since i know how women tend to never be wrong, i would validate your accusations" and jumped into the womens boat pulled down his trousers and told her to start fishin'

 

[Mr.Positive]

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to
take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'


'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.



MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also
think.:moon:

Unfortunately for the woman, the game warden too was a thinker...

Instead of leaving, the warden calms says.."ma'am, here's the citation for fishing in the restricted area and furthermore.."

The warden then retrieves a voice recorder from his shirt pocket, shakes his head with a smile, and says..

"I'm going to have to arrest you for threatening an officer of the law."

Have a nice life ma'am...

 

[LoneSilver]

Deleted

LoneSilver

 

[Purple-Haze]

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop… but at the bar… you know… they have frozen glasses… "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious… I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

"But my sweet honey… at the bar…. you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that…"

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?…LISTEN UP D1CKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE FU@K UP, DRINK YOUR GOD DAMN BEER IN YOUR FU@KING FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FU@KING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A FU@KING BAR! THAT $HIT IS OVER…GOT IT, A$$HOLE?"

…and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

 

[LoneSilver]

Just looks better deleted.

LoneSilver

 

[( . )( . )]

:crackup:

And then we all laughed uneasily at the sh!tty joke/real life conundrum men have to be on guard with on a daily basis. False accusations, mens lives and reputations shattered MWAHAHAHAHAHAaaa!! Oh my sides. ......I've shat better jokes btw.

I love humor and glad to see some good humor being spread here by our newer women members who seem to have a sweet and kind nature gives me butterflies..

For fvcks sake.

I love humor

It's clearly obvious you dont.

 

[ketostix]

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to
take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'


'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.



MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also
think.:moon:

OK but since when was fvcking you an automatic restriction? If that's the case you'd have to wear a chasity belt (analogous to the game warden).


MORAL: Never trust a woman who reads. It's likely she can also be a feminist. lol

 

[ketostix]

Unfortunately for the woman, the game warden too was a thinker...

Instead of leaving, the warden calms says.."ma'am, here's the citation for fishing in the restricted area and furthermore.."

The warden then retrieves a voice recorder from his shirt pocket, shakes his head with a smile, and says..

"I'm going to have to arrest you for threatening an officer of the law."

Have a nice life ma'am...

Loved that one. She should change her thread title to "Women never argue with a game warden!" lol. IF only all men should had the authority of the game warden when arguing with a woman.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop… but at the bar… you know… they have frozen glasses… "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious… I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

"But my sweet honey… at the bar…. you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that…"

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?…LISTEN UP D1CKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE FU@K UP, DRINK YOUR GOD DAMN BEER IN YOUR FU@KING FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FU@KING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A FU@KING BAR! THAT $HIT IS OVER…GOT IT, A$$HOLE?"

QUOTE]

but, hunny bunny, at the bar, I get HEAD everytime i snap my fingers..

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you aint tol' the b!tch twice before.

 

[MacAvoy]

I think its pretty sad when a guy can't take a humurous joke and just enjoy it instead of having to be all masculine and twist the joke around or calling them a feminist.

It was a joke, it was funny. Just because you don't agree with the OP's other view's doesn't mean you have to follow them around like an AFC and bait their posts.
________________________________________________________

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?







Full

 

[LoneSilver]

Deleted

LoneSilver

 

[Purple-Haze]

10 Things A Woman Will Never Say

10. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.

9. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me.

8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.

7. Hey, get a whiff of that one.

6. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.

5. This diamond is way too big.

4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.

3. Wow, it really is 14 inches!

2. Does this make my butt look too small?

1. I'm wrong, you must be right again.

 

[Lishy]

A couple get married and on the wedding night the husband takes his trousers off and tells his new wife to put them on.

"why?" she asks

"just do it sweetie" he replies ... So she puts them on

"That is the first and last time you will wear the trousers in this relationship" The husband says

The wife looks at him and takes off her panties and says "sweetie put these on"

"why?" says the husband

"Just do it baby" she says, so he squeezes into her lace panties and she says

"That is the last time you will be in my panties until you change your attitude"

 

[hope7]

Unfortunately for the woman, the game warden too was a thinker...

Instead of leaving, the warden calms says.."ma'am, here's the citation for fishing in the restricted area and furthermore.."

The warden then retrieves a voice recorder from his shirt pocket, shakes his head with a smile, and says..

"I'm going to have to arrest you for threatening an officer of the law."

Have a nice life ma'am...

I think missed the joke. She wasn't threatening to pursue a false charge, it was a real charge just because he had all the equipment.

 

[Señor Fingers]

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

 

[Lishy]

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: Muhahahhaha Absolutely!