Nervousness Overcome

[thecraftylefty]

"Everybody has butterflies, the key is to make them fly in formation."

Those words were spoken to me after I gave a research presentation at The University of Duquesne, in Pittsburgh, a couple months ago. I had told the plenary speaker I was a little nervous about presenting in front of such a large crowd, with people who were specialists in their field (PhDs and the such). Obviously, I didn't want to come across as a simpleton who was just spouting off facts and data like a drone, but overall things went pretty smoothly. I started off a little slow, but the words I needed to say just seemed to pour from my mouth the way they were meant to. It went really well, and I was actually offered a position as a grad student by one of the professors a week later after she spoke with the dean.

The point is, if I would have held onto that nervousness instead of using it productively, and bottling it up and cowering with fear, it would have went horribly and I would have been really disappointed with myself. But I didn't even let that thought enter my head once I started. Before I was jittery, but once it was showtime I knew I had to perform. And I did. It's about stepping up to the challenge and bringing what you have to the table in a unique and upbeat way. The same thing can be said in our everyday interactions with women. You don't have to be on 100% of the time, but you have to be able to go in and know you'll be just fine.

After being involved in this kind of stuff for a while, I still get butterflies every now and then. You simply cannot avoid the anxiety and pretend it doesn't exist. But you can get yourself in the right state of mind when situations come up (aka talking to a girl for the first time).

It's normal to get excited, full of anticipation, but not to let it overcome you. You are the constant, not the variable. You are what is in control, not your surroundings. Make it happen.


thecraftylefty

 

[Mr.Style]

Good advice. Thanks for the tip.

 

[mungro]

i like that saying, good story and tip.

another thing about nervousness and anxiety is, that sometimes simply changing the way you think about it can help.

If I can use another academic type of example... I have a friend who was a real jitter bug, she used to get real anxious and nervous (nearly tearful) for things like tests and stuff in undergrad college. She would say, "i'm so nervous." and I used to tell her, "no you're not... you are excited. excited to dominate a test you've been studying for all week." and that would make her (and me) feel a lot better.

Sometimes I use this thinking for approaches to social situations too... I'm not "nervous" when walking into a new room of people, I'm "excited" to meet all the people who are gonna be my friends after today... sounds corny, but its a better outlook to have.

 

[BeLoSH]

too true.
imo, a "who gives a f__k" mindset does it all. everytime you feel that bout of nervousness creeping inside you just think to yourself "who gives a f__k!" !!
im a man, and i DONT care if she f__ks me off!

say it and repeat:
"who gives a f__k"
"who gives a f__k"
"who gives a f__k"
"who gives a f__k"
"who gives a f__k"

works for me anyway.

 

[Heyjose25points]

This has worked for me quite a bit. Try holding your balls. This causes u to subconsciously do the approach, even if u don't want to, because u always try to defend ur balls as it is the most sensitive muscle of a male, and if it gets harmed, your mind wants to prevent that harm.