"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Nervousness, gameplan, long story, suggestions wanted. BADLY.

IamtheAlphamale

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Now to start this off I'm just gonna tell the whole story. So anyways I started working at some new place and the girl was there. Anyways I had seen her before when we did some safety meeting and I was just awestruck. Remember this is after a year in college residence. This girl was wow. I don't give out 10's but like... 9.9. When people describe her at work they say she looks like a "doll."

BTW Everytime I approach this girl I get that wierd feeling, I don't know if its excitement or nervousness. EVERYTIME.

Anyways so I scan stuff at work and I had to get a sticker so I bring my useless sticker to her and shes all smiles and is like "oh do you need a new one?" I'm like "No I just wanted to give this to you." Sarcastically with a ****y smile although she turned around to get me one. Anyways I had heard a lot of bad stuff about her because my work is full of rumours. So after that, just like that shift, she probably checked me out litterally about 500+ times. She was also working with only old ladies and one of them came over to me and asked me "Hi, one of the girls on our line wants to know if your single." After this I decided I should set the vibe and make sure she knows im Alpha incase at a later date I change my mind so I started making the building want me. After that I didn't talk to her for a while lets say about a month and a half and by this time I realized theres stuff going around about everyone and none of its true. And during this time whenever I leave the cafeteria she will also leave it so that we can meet at the door etc, or when I'm getting my clothes to start work and shes in normal clothes she will linger in a way that lets me check out her ass, she also started making friends with people she saw me hanging around with.

So anyways I'm talking to my brother because he is home from school and used to work there. And I'm like do you know this girl? And hes like "yeah man" says her last name I didn't know it but it was the same chick. He basically told me shes a wicked girl and none of that stuff is true at all because he is friends with her AND it turns out his best friend has known her for about 7-8 years and I talked to him and he said not a slut at all everything I had heard was pure lies (lotta jelous chicks at my work I guess) shes such a nice, sweet girl and I should DEFINATELY go for her because shes amazing. He has a very good looking gf btw. And just so you guys know I am no AFC this girl is just unreal so far.

Also background she was seeing a guy from my work who at the present no longer works there. I knew him and I will get into that later.

Ok so anyways after talking to my brother about her, btw I talked to his friend later on and I will mention that in the story, I decided well if my brother likes her and has only good things to say she must be a good girl. My brother pretty much likes about 15% of people. True DJ and he used to use this site a while ago. He basically advised me I should have SEX with her because shes the bomb. Anyways so I walked upto her one day and am like "Hey girl, Hey Girl." I had to get her attention because she was talking to someone, and then I'm like is your last name _______ and shes like "yeah how did you know?" Big smile because I'm finally talking to her. I am like "Yeah my brother knows you he used to work here hes _____ _______ and shes like "yeah we were like this" Crosses fingers "How did you know it was me? So I'm like "Oh he said he used to work with this really dumb girl." and then I just continued the convo and just laid the C&F on really hardcore with crazy amounts of teasing. She ate it up like crazy she was just smiling and stuff like that super digging me. When I walked away after that she basically squeelled "HES GORGEOUS!!" and so I kept up the C&F and teasing like crazy. Anyways I went to a poker game after our friday shift (work nights so really early in the morning) anyways I only went once and I guess she learned from the guy she was seeing that I'd be there because she didnt work the day b4 since she is a part timer (not even, student employee) and she gets there right after I smoked some pot. I had mad luck in this game, anyways she comes in and says hi and I say to the guy shes seeing yo ____, your girls pursuing me. And shes like "Oh no I'm not his girl I don't have a bf or anything" So I make direct eyecontact and raise my eyebrows as if I'm interested and then she comes and and sits beside me. Anyways the guys there were very masculine guys, infact I'm about 90% sure the guy she was seeing is using David D's book and is very experienced at it. Anyways he looked pissed but tried to hide it because he had had her on lockdown and whipped before I came along. So anyways I decide I came there to play poker and not for her so I had been drinking, so I was like well I can hit on her minimally and make myself the alpha here easily. So I set the tone and won 2 games in a row and then lost a third game in second place because I got too drunk. Oh btw I'm skipping meaningless C&F incounters at work, many of them.

Anyways at work one day she is leaving work as I come up to lunch because she gets to choose her shifts. Anyways just as she was about to leave after about a 2 min convo I'm like I'm going to the bar that night with my buddy from work and I say his name and shes like OH I'm going downtown tonight too with my friends. And shes like "Well hopefully I don't see you there." She does the teasing back because I had previously told her my brother and his best buddy said hi and his buddy said to give her a kiss but she didn't earn it yet and shes going to have to try a lot harder before she would get one. So anyways she starts walking away and I said as she was leaving "Oh I think you will find me." So anyways that night me and my buddy meet up at another guy from work's house and we start drinking so she starts calling the guy I told her I was going to the bar with because he is BEST FRIENDS with the guy she was seeing. Hes like oh Girl called me. (not using her name I may as well just call her girl from now on) I'm like yeah I told her we were going to the bar that night. This guy is a coke head, personally I would never touch that stuff. Anyways he makes it very difficult for her. Over about the next 3 hours she text's him and calls him constantly he dosent answer her calls and text's or answers text's with very unhelpful info. Now you need to remember this guy is best friends with the guy she is seeing and he has no intention of helping me get with her. The guy she is seeing who she basically made very plain infront of him that she was going for me, calls for some Extacy (a drug) he calls him IMMEDIATELY back and the guy shows up and he gives him the pills for free. Anyways she wanted to come to my buddy's so she could pre-drink with me before we went to the bar. Notice she basically just cancelled plans with her friend and probably called/text'd this other guy about 25 times in 3 hours. Now anyways I goto the bar with my other buddy because this coke head wants to meet up with some chick and the cokehead guy whos revieving all these calls from GIRL (oh btw he kept the topic on girls the whole night about my likes and dislikes and everything I said I liked about girls or disliked he said she was the opposite). Anyways I goto the bar and told him about 5 times to tell her what bar I was going to. Anyways I goto the bar and end up seeing my brother and his best friend and thats when I have the convo with his best friend and he basically just said shes a real catch. Anyways she didn't goto the bar.

I goto work after the weekend and talk to her and we talk about "What happened on friday"? And we get everything sorted out. Turns out the cokehead guy told her I was not going to the bar that night. Nice guy eh.... Anyways after a short convo after we got everything sorted out I give her a slap on the ass and tell her to get back to work. So basically the guy completely screwed me. I see her once more that night she gives me a very excited wave from like 60 feet away and then I don't see her again until this week about... a month later, because it was slow season and shes not in the union so she does not have guaranteed work.

Anyways I didn't know what the hell was going on when she left work so after about two weeks I asked the coke head for her number and he's like I can't give you her number. So I'm like ok well call her and ask her so he said he would. Now at this point I realized my chances of getting her number off of this guy were extremely low because as far as he knew I had no other way to contact her. But I did and he told me she said no the day that I sent her a message on face book. I added her because my brother had her info and he gave me the info. Personally I have little experience with that program. So here is the message I sent her.

Interests : Number + Dating NAME Girl
Disinterest : Girls named ____ asking to marry me on the first date, being given chocolates on the first date, and girls setting up camera's outside my house.
(tried to get your number from COKEHEAD(not real name) but he was about as much help as when you tried to come drink with us)
PS. Thanks for the heads up you were quitting or whatever I started bringing a pen to work and it exploded in my pants and I've not been wearing pants at work for the last 2 weeks. You owe me a pair of jeans. I'm just kidding about the pen exploding, but I've been using that as an excuse to not wear pants at work. Get your number to me before the end of the weekend and I'll call you early next week some day b4 work and we will set something up. (i like roses though)

hardcore one-ites here. Thats why I need some help. Yeah just give me some thoughts and stuff I would really appretiate it. I will hopefully get in about 5-10 number closes tomorrow night.

Continued.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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IamtheAlphamale

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So anyways she never responded to my message. She shows up at work last week. First day she was there I pretended not to see her. Second day she was there I ignored her again. I passed her in the hall after everyone had signed out, we were going opposite ways, and she had the hugest smile and pointed at me keeping her finger close to her, and her eyes were like pretty crazy looking, you could not possibly misinterpret this sign. The look she gave me was... I wish I could replay it in my mind and beat off to it. People were like wow I wish I could get girls to give me looks like that. BTW during these two days she had been in the cafe' at the same time as me for lunch's and breaks and when I didn't talk to her she looked extremely troubled but had never approached me. So anyways after that I knew I was golden. OH BTW her friend invited me to breakfast 3 days after I sent her that message on facebook. Now the thing about her friend asking me to breakfast is.. she hates my guts. This girl tells me to f\/ckoff when I look at her. So this was extremely random. Anyways the next day i figured she was not at work so I was safe to goto the cafe on my normal break time (I can go anytime I want really whereas they have set times). Anyways I see her in the cafe and I do not go talk to her I just sit down with my buddies. The reason I did this is I want to kill that nervousness I feel this weekend, tomorrow, by getting some numbers at the bar tomorrow night and then making the calls before I go into work. The second reason I did this is because she waited 2 weeks and never responded to my message and since I did not immediately go upto her at work I don't want her to think I thought I had gotten rejected and therefore did not approach her. Now I heard her saying over and over why didn't he come talk to me?!? to her friends. Ok now next time I talk to her I have to get her number and set up a date. Since I know she likes going to the bar and my favorite one is a club I am going to make plans to meet her at the pub across the street and then goto the club and dance and get drunk with her. I can easily increase her interest off other guys approaching her at the club since I have experience doing this stuff so I am not worried about that. I know we will have lots of fun. What I need to know is extra ways I can decrease my nervousness and stuff like that. I realize I am treating this girl as if shes on a pedistal. Thing is this girl falls so far 100% into the type I want. She is going to the local university which I am also going to and she is even going into the same profession as I am. I seriously dread if I get some hardcore one-ites here. Anyways I need some advice and stuff like that. Its extremely rare for me to be this into a girl, actually this is the first time I've seen a girl so perfect for me. I could do this on my own but it would be way better if I got some help. Help me brothers.
 

IamtheAlphamale

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Oh the bottom two lines of the first message was supposed to be at the end of the second but i guess I messed up the copy and paste
 

IamtheAlphamale

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Btw timeframe for once I started talking to her again to when I told her I was going to the bar that night was less than 2 weeks.
 

[S]alvatore

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Don't you think in the time it took you to type all that up, you could have thought of your own suggestions, and actually learnt something new? Fu<k, you've only been here 4 years, what HAVE you learnt?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Flabbergasped?

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Wall Of Textttttt
 

IamtheAlphamale

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Thanks for all the help. Every time I post on here you guys really help me. Ok seriously I need some suggestions. I know what I'm doing but what are my holes? Whats the point of saying useless **** like the people above this message? Please help me with some creative critisism or something.
 

ATX1001

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I'm the last person that should be giving advice.. but I'm pretty sure that push/pull involves at least a little push.. Show some real interest, don't just ignore her all the time. And get her damn number!
 

L777

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IamtheAlphamale said:
Thanks for all the help. Every time I post on here you guys really help me. Ok seriously I need some suggestions. I know what I'm doing but what are my holes? Whats the point of saying useless **** like the people above this message? Please help me with some creative critisism or something.
If you want help pal, leave a line between every 3 or 4 sentences...I wouldn't read that first post if you paid me!! Try also condensing what you're trying to say into, perhaps, half as many words. :)
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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You started out really strong. You played the C+F great and I think you generated a lot of interest off the bat. I don't think you acted quick enough though. You should have gotten her # the first time you went up to her (when you busted her balls about being the dumb girl at work). You should have gotten physical with her at some point.

You started to make mistakes when you asked that guy to get her phone # for you. What is this high school? Real men go right to the source and ask themselves.

It gets worse with the Facebook thing. Although the part about not wearing pants at work was funny, it comes off as desperate. First you are asking someone else for her # and then you are sending her messages on Facebook.

This would have all been much smoother if you just got her # from the start. Now you have to determine her interest level which I'll bet is pretty low right now. Just go up to her and ask for her phone #. Don't say why she'll know. If she doesn't give it to you or she hems and haws, say nevermind and walk away. It's that easy.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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IamtheAlphamale

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Mind_Body_Soul said:
You started to make mistakes when you asked that guy to get her phone # for you. What is this high school? Real men go right to the source and ask themselves.

It gets worse with the Facebook thing. Although the part about not wearing pants at work was funny, it comes off as desperate. First you are asking someone else for her # and then you are sending her messages on Facebook.
I said she left work for a while. Thats why I did that. Also I did ask her out to the bar in person. And as for her IL I didn't get an opportunity to talk to her because my boss threatened me with work preformance but I interacted kinda with her twice today, but I'd say her IL is very high based on the amount she stares at me and plus I heard her talking about me a fair amount.
 
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