Nervous reaction when put on the spot

[Jariel]

I don't know if any of you can relate to this, but some times when I'm put on the spot I get intensly nervous to the point where I get hot, red, shaky, my voice gets higher and I stutter. Other times I get this overwhelming urge to laugh!

Now I'm a very confident, outgoing guy and there's no logical cause I can pinpoint. It's just an uncontrollable reaction to intense situations like public speaking, interviews, asking a girl out, being accused of something, funerals, receiving bad news (even just bad exam results) or generally tense discussions.

Recently my friend put me on the spot and asked me if I was involved with my girlfriend's best friend. Well, he had good reason to suspect that and all of a sudden I felt really tense and was overwhelmed with this nervous reaction. He even asked me if I was ok and I made up some excuse about having a headache. It's not like I even had a problem telling my friend the truth, it was merely the fact that I was on the spot. We spoke about it later outside (where it was dark) and I had no problem telling him everything without a hint of nervousness.

I know a lot of people here believe in the "face things head on" approach, but I actually do face these situations regularly and 95% of the time it's not even an issue. Yet there's that 5% where this nervous reaction comes from nowhere and catches me offguard.

I'm just wondering if anyone can relate to this and give me some indications why it happens. I have wondered if it's related to my diet as I've found myself getting a little sensitive when I'm cutting.

 

[NINJA PIMP]

I cant speak for everyone but I know that when this happens, it's usually over something that I have not yet resolved in my own mind. Its like a dark secret and when it's brought to light I totally freak out because I was not ready...my inner confllict was exposed and for a second I felt like my privacy was violated. It's the same reaction as when your mom finds your porn magazines. You got busted and it makes you want to teleport away from the situation.

I have found it happens less and less once you start to accept and take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. Kind of a "no-apologies" attitude because you have nothing to be ashamed of. To err is human, but to love and accept oneself is divine.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by NINJA PIMP
Its like a dark secret and when it's brought to light I totally freak out because I was not ready...my inner confllict was exposed and for a second I felt like my privacy was violated.

You summed it up perfectly here and it does feel like my thoughts have been exposed somewhat. And I am very protective of my mental privacy.

I've considered myself a "no apologies" kind of person for a while, but I'm not. Even though I don't do anything for approval I do avoid doing some things that might cause disapproval.

Thanks for the input!

 

[Visceral]

IMO ...

I agree with the unresolved conflicts idea, the situation that arises when your ego hasn't accepted the new behavior and still fights it. Self-consciousness generates shame that you can't help but project onto others.

I think other people are a big part of this too. The court of public opinion is our society's most repressive institution and we live in constant fear of its judgements and punishments. We're often reluctant to say, do, or admit to anything that would bring down its wrath upon us and take offense whenever it's suggested that we have something to hide from it. While some people might genuinely be concerned with other people's opinion of them, most of us are motivated by self-interest, that it's just easier to fly under the radar, especially when you don't care enough to stand up for yourself.

Sometimes I think that true freedom only exists in a vacuum, that we'll never know it so long as there are others around to make us sorry for our presumption. Unless, of course, no-one would dare challenge you, but when is that ever the case