Nervous about my GF leaving...

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

This next my week my girlfriend is going out of state to visit all her old friends for her birthday. She will be gone about 1 week and wants me to go with her to meet her friends. But, since I am working I will not be able to take that many days off so, I can't go. Now, I have no problems with her going to see and stay with her friends for about a week. However, some of the other people she said she was going to visit were a few old fvck buddys. She tells me that they are just really good friends but were f.uck buddys at the same time. This is the part that makes me worry a little bit. Should I be concerned that she will also be seeing and maybe partying with her old FB's? I told her I didn't like the fact she would be seeing guys she use to do that sh!t with but, it is in the past. I am not stressing over this or overly worried. Since, she tells me she loves me everyday, wouldn't mind marrying me, wanting to live with me and ect. So, I feel her interest level is high enough she wouldn't cheat. But, theres just that tiny idea in my head that somthing could happen.

 

[ducaro]

ooh boy... hmm
she's gonna be spending time with her ex Fb's?! how old is she, btw?

can't really say..

i suggest to go with the flow.. just remember anything can happen.. so safeguard yourself and be prepared.:trouble:

 

[Alphamale1821]

Have faith and just trust her. Until she has given you a reason to not trust her then remove all traces of doubt. Better yet while she is away you should go hang out with some of you guy friends or female friends just to take you mind off of it. Guaranteed if you just work and go home it will be on your mind constantly. Do something productive or something that makes you happy to not think about it

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

She is turning 20 in the next week. I do trust her but, I just don't like the idea she will see her ex FB's. She told me they were really good friends before they became fb's and she wouldn't see them as much as her other friends. I'm just worried she might get drunk with them and old feeling's could come into play. I'm gonna go with alphamale's advice of seeing my friends and keeping productive so I wont think about. If anyone else has more advice I would appreciate it.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

She is turning 20 in the next week. I do trust her but, I just don't like the idea she will see her ex FB's. She told me they were really good friends before they became fb's and she wouldn't see them as much as her other friends. I'm just worried she might get drunk with them and old feeling's could come into play. I'm gonna go with alphamale's advice of seeing my friends and keeping productive so I wont think about. If anyone else has more advice I would appreciate it.

What??? She's contradicting herself. You and I know that one does NOT become really good friends then fb's. So lets just say that rarity did happen. Now she's just gonna turn it around? Now she acts like, "Oh no, we're just good friends?" Can't have it both ways, can you?

I am just playing devil's advocate here. For the same of stimulating convo. How does one get out of the friends zone and go to being FB's? Those guys that did it should come here and write a few articles and show every chump here how to get out of the friends zone and to sex buddies.

She should come in here and write an article on how to not have any feelings after having sex with somebody, specially somebody who was a very good friend before.

 

[Max Power]

She told me they were really good friends before they became fb's .

This is bull****.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Yeah I agree that this does sound fishy. I don't really care to know about her past sex partners because it is in the past. She could still be attached to her "fvck buddies" and wants to see them again. I just don't know what to think. I don't wanna be worrying and stressing if she is gonna go fvck some other guys while she is there but it almost seems this way to me. I need some more advice from you guys. I feel like telling her "I don't want you to see them and if you have enough respect for me you won't. But, its fine if you see your other friends." But, how would I know if she does or doesn't cause I won't know. Damn I just don't know what to say or do or what to think of her. Please help.. :trouble:

 

[EternalStudent]

See your friends. Have fun. Let her have fun.

If she cheats on you, let her go, and find yourself someone that wouldn't.

Give her the benefit of the doubt. Speculation, fear, and worrying in this situation won't do you much good. Be patient and you'll have all your answers.

 

[danielzxc]

Lol. Sorry buddy, the chances are extremely high that she'll fkk behind your back. The surprising thing would be if she didn't.

Your fault for getting into an ltr -- and expecting it to go smoothly -- with a chick like this in the first place. I'd explain it to you, but I don't think someone whose "rules" are "drink till you're numb" and "smoke weed all day" is really gonna get it.

 

[EFFORT]

Your basically done here. If your having these nervous insecure worrying feelings then your relationship is eventually going to come to an end. This is how the picture should look.

Your GF should be the one on a forum posting about how shes leaving for a week and since your such a good catch shes worried that while shes gone your going to meet new women. She should be on her toes while gone, calling you a lot. If your going to be in an LTR she has to be the one getting the better deal since your such a good catch shes getting more out of being with you than you are from being with her.


And about the other guys. Lets do an acting analogy here. You need to be the huge big motion picture that shes worked so hard to finally get a shot at, the other guys are just small local commercial acts. If she breaks the contract and jumps in these little commercials she risks losing the biggest break of her life. So in other words her seeing these other guys should reaffirm to her how good of a catch you actually are since she'll see how they don't even come close to you and that'll attract her to you even more.


Doesn't look like your coming from this picture though. After this relationship eventually ends (should probably be doing this now actually but you probably won't) get your ass out in the field meeting lots of women everyday. Work on yourself, get involved with stuff, figure out what you want out of life, really put yourself out there and become your best possible self.

 

[vorbis]

I wonder why some guys even go out with a girl if they feel they can't trust her. As Alphamale said, if she hasn't given you a reason to distrust her why are you not trusting her?? Your paranoia is only justifiable if she has acted suspiciously or distant from you.

 

[DJDamage]

What??? She's contradicting herself. You and I know that one does NOT become really good friends then fb's. So lets just say that rarity did happen. Now she's just gonna turn it around? Now she acts like, "Oh no, we're just good friends?" Can't have it both ways, can you?

Exectly!

some of the other people she said she was going to visit were a few old fvck buddys. She tells me that they are just really good friends but were f.uck buddys at the same time.

and...

She is turning 20 in the next week.

so let me get this stright... she is not even 20 yet but she has already several fvck buddies that all happen to be in the same social group she will be seeing next week??? pfff the reality is that your girl is a hoe that has been passed around like cigarette from one guy to the next.

Since, she tells me she loves me everyday, wouldn't mind marrying me, wanting to live with me and ect. So, I feel her interest level is high enough she wouldn't cheat.

Don't listen to what they say but pay attention to what they do. A girl with high interest would NOT go to see old fvckbuddies because she would CARE more about what her boyfriend feels then what she feels. She CHOOSE to spend her birthday with HER FVCKBUDDIES over YOU!!! doesn't that tell you something!???? If she really loved you she would have tried to accomodate you because that is what an understanding high interest girl would do!!


Do you think you can get away with this bvllsh1t if you had a decent girl on your hands and told her " yeah listen I am going to visit a few fvckbuddies next week for my birthday because you are busy with work and all and you can't come, but don't worry we are just friends!!!"

You sound too young to be in an LTR and girls her age will bounce around more often then not. You should not be in LTR with her and just have fun out there with several different girls until you are sure you know what you want.

 

[MrS]

Face it bud - they'll have sex.
IF she doesn't, which you won't know for sure, it's ok then.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Understand this - "Hors are for everybody" Your penis is not special - you are merely the next pimp in line - unless you are the fool to marry her, then you are her last pimp!!!!!

And ?No", Never trust or love a hor!!

 

[Obsidian]

she tells me she...wouldn't mind marrying me

She wouldn't mind marrying you? Oh, how romantic. I'm sure this is a relationship that will last. You sure know how to choose the high-quality girls with high interest levels! Why don't you just go ahead and divide your assets in half right away to keep things simple? Then you can keep the first half for yourself, but don't get used to having the second half; it won't be with you for long!

And Lastman is right: Say no to hors for LTRs, man. You are right to be nervous in this situation. Hors can't handle monogamy in any serious form.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Ok I have an update.

Last night I got drunk at a party with her and said how I felt about this. I can't remember everything that was said but ill try to explain what happend.

I basically told her that I felt there was a reason of why she wanted to go and see her fvck buddys. And asked her why she even thought about them anymore cause she is with me. Then, I said if you have respect for me and our relationship you won't see them.

She started crying telling me she would never cheat on me. I mean everything to her, she would never hurt me or our relationship. She couldn't believe I wouldn't trust her. So, I said; well, I wouldn't have a doubt in my mind if you wern't going to see people you use to have sex with. She replies; that they were just really "good friends" who helped her through alot of sh!t in hard times and the reason they had sex was because they just got drunk and having a good time. Said it only happend a few times.. says there is no feelings for them or attraction and she doesn't even think about what they did. then, she starts crying even more saying she won't go to see them if I feel that way. Then, it was just more of her crying to me about whatever. So later today i'm gonna talk more with her and see where this goes.

 

[Obsidian]

bearing in mind this new development, I'd probably tell her to go

but i still wouldn't fully trust her

She still sounds like a low-quality hor for having these f*ck-buddies.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I do want her to go and have fun with her OTHER friends who she hasnt seen in awhile. But, just the fact of her even mentioning she wanted to see the other guys made me trip a little. I tried turning the tables on her saying what if I went away for a week and wanted to see my old FB'S. She told me she would have enough trust in me that I wouldn't cheat. So, I'm just gonna talk about this more with her. See where it goes and how her actions are towards me. Ill keep updating if there is some significant changes. Also, I'd like thank everyone for all the advice you have given to me even though some of it was harsh and a reality check. I am still young and don't know what I really want in life. Which is why I come here to learn, recieve advice, and help motivate myself. And blah blah blah... Thanks for the advice again, ill keep posted.

 

[EFFORT]

I still stand by what i posted. I'm predicting 1-4months we'll get a thread here about how you guys broke up

 

[DJDamage]

She replies; that they were just really "good friends" who helped her through alot of sh!t in hard times.

lol hard times?? what kind of hard times?? did she get kicked out of her house? was she broke ass?? sexually abused? addicted to crack?? If the answer is none of the above then it ain't no hard time! if the answer is yes to any of the above she then it explains why she *****d herself to every guy friend she knew before she got with you. Why get all of them involve?? save the drama to your mama.

the reason they had sex was because they just got drunk and having a good time. Said it only happend a few times.. says there is no feelings for them or attraction and she doesn't even think about what they did. then

This chick is wacked. Its one thing to throw the excuse of having sex and blaming being drunk for it but for another to get drunk and have sex "A FEW TIMES!!!" with different men!!! well that is right out of the ballpark!!!

Now she says that there is no feelings for them or attraction like last time???? you cannot HAVE SEX without being ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE!!! it feats the purpose!!! So all it took for her to get drunk while having a good time to have sex??? next week is her birthday no?? people are going to be having a good time and lots of drinking will be involved no???? and all the fvck buddies will be in one place???!!!! that is a recipe for disaster!!

Even if she agrees not to see them she will forever hold this against you that you FORBID her from going. Your relationship has more cracks then the titanic, its just a matter of time before it sinks.

Can't make a hoe into a housewife.