Nerdy girl is now Hot

[Pimp-sicle]

Not sure if thats a jab at my posts, but in either case, I can't take this guys hand and do it for him. He wanted some specifics, and thats what I gave him. It's helpful to learn from real examples and to have some techniques that are scripted when you're nervous. Hes not going to be 100% confident right away, it needs to be built.

Nah bro I wasn't referring to you. I know you were coming from a good place and trying to help the OP.

The thing you need to realize though is he needs to go out there and mess up a lot before a lot of what we start advising him on makes sense.

If he hasn't been in the situation we are talking about, its just not going to click yet.

I told him to gain confidence in himself before the date, talk to himself in the mirror, what did he do? He smoked up and hoped that the mellow nature of weed would mask his nervousness.

Totally agree, retard move and it truly shows just the pure lack of experience he has and how much he put this chick above him as if she was better than him.

If anything, he is over thinking things BECAUSE he didn't listen to what I told him.

No, he's not over-thinking things because he didn't listen to what you said; he's over-thinking things because he was trying to have a scripted date based on what everyone said. He had information over-load and the reason that occurred is because he simply lacks the experience right now.

So your keys fell and you were doing an idiot dance, well i can tell you what I would of done was said **** the keys, go for the initial hug and then get the keys and be cool about it. Miss directions and wasn't paying attention? Who ****ing cares, just laugh about it and just fix it.'

Exactly.


---------------


Good post overall, and looks like you've spent a good amount of time replying to this dude which is awesome. But the only way he is going to get better is learning from his mistakes, rather than trying to memorize what everyone here is telling him.







PIMP

 

[TRSX]

+1 rep for you pimp.

The experience over technique makes much more sense.

 

[metamorphose]

I thank everyone advice for the advice, regardless of how varied. I am here because I need help, so I will take it in whatever form it may come. Whoever wants to help enough to take their personal time out to post is really appreciated and not taken for granted.

I know I screwed this date up. It wasn’t unlucky timing of a phone call, or dropping something, etc, it was because I got caught up in my own mind. This has always been my problem. I over think, over analyze, look too much into almost everything. A big part of this is lack of confidence, an equally big part as mentioned is lack of experience.

I get that you have to actually play in the game to get better, so all the reading from bench is useless unless I get out there. I guess I can take that out of the date… I learned from it, and despite being a total AFC on the date, I managed to maintain great convo, make her laugh, got her to share personal stuff with me. And although I didn’t hear from her after that night, I did get a lengthy follow up text conversation.

I realize I am probably dead in the water with her. But if that’s the case, trying for one more shot shouldn’t hurt my current situation. I actually have a very specific and decent idea (IMO) for a late night quick date that I came up with. Any girl into a guy remotely would like this even though its cheap, so I think it’s a good IL indicator if I might get another shot.

A few questions I have:
1)So when asking her, I should specifically use the word date so my intentions are clear
2)Even though there was zero Kino first time, should my plan to be to still start this date off with a hug and pretend like awkward first date never happened, and continue with kino throughout
3)Should I make a joking reference to last date being bad (i.e.” now that I’m not feeling sick let’s do this properly”), or just pretend first date never happened.
4)How do I get out of my head so I can have fun


Thanks Again

 

[IronDJ]

I thank everyone advice for the advice, regardless of how varied. I am here because I need help, so I will take it in whatever form it may come. Whoever wants to help enough to take their personal time out to post is really appreciated and not taken for granted.

I know I screwed this date up. It wasn’t unlucky timing of a phone call, or dropping something, etc, it was because I got caught up in my own mind. This has always been my problem. I over think, over analyze, look too much into almost everything. A big part of this is lack of confidence, an equally big part as mentioned is lack of experience.

I get that you have to actually play in the game to get better, so all the reading from bench is useless unless I get out there. I guess I can take that out of the date… I learned from it, and despite being a total AFC on the date, I managed to maintain great convo, make her laugh, got her to share personal stuff with me. And although I didn’t hear from her after that night, I did get a lengthy follow up text conversation.

I realize I am probably dead in the water with her. But if that’s the case, trying for one more shot shouldn’t hurt my current situation. I actually have a very specific and decent idea (IMO) for a late night quick date that I came up with. Any girl into a guy remotely would like this even though its cheap, so I think it’s a good IL indicator if I might get another shot.

A few questions I have:
1)So when asking her, I should specifically use the word date so my intentions are clear
2)Even though there was zero Kino first time, should my plan to be to still start this date off with a hug and pretend like awkward first date never happened, and continue with kino throughout
3)Should I make a joking reference to last date being bad (i.e.” now that I’m not feeling sick let’s do this properly”), or just pretend first date never happened.
4)How do I get out of my head so I can have fun


Thanks Again

Here are my answers:
1) No. A girl knows when she's being asked out. As long as you haven't been friend zoned, she's fully aware of your intentions and is ok with them, provided she agrees to go out.

2) Yes. If she goes out with you again, start at square one. Not only because you need to not worry about the second date, but you need to gauge whether or not she sees you as someone she wants to sleep with.

3) God no! No bringing up the first date.

4) All these little tips and tricks you're trying to memorize to seduce this girl, don't worry about them as much and be you. How are you when you are around your friends? You're likely comfortable and confident. That's the way you should be around this girl. Just don't be distant while you're trying to be comfortable. Get close to her. Touch her arm. See how she looks at you while you do these things. If she gives you a look that shows she approves, then the getting out of your head and having fun will take care of itself.

Hope this helps, man. Good luck!

 

[metamorphose]

So dead in the water was putting it nicely.

Same girl who told me she is “pretty much free all the time”, now is “really busy for the next few weeks”. She clearly has no IL now, feels like talking to someone different.

Funny thing is she wasn’t too interesting or special, but getting tossed aside like this still kind of stings. It’s more of having a girl primed and knowing it didn’t happen simply because of myself.

 

[TRSX]

We learn from our rejections.

The thing you have to remember is that you got the date - which is better then doing nothing and NOT getting the date.

You're a winner in my book. :rockon:

Read the DJ bible, read nismo-4's post - Slam some chicks, you'll get there!

 

[IronDJ]

So dead in the water was putting it nicely.

Same girl who told me she is “pretty much free all the time”, now is “really busy for the next few weeks”. She clearly has no IL now, feels like talking to someone different.

Funny thing is she wasn’t too interesting or special, but getting tossed aside like this still kind of stings. It’s more of having a girl primed and knowing it didn’t happen simply because of myself.

Gotta to be able to take your losses with your wins, man. You'll be better in the long run from the experience.