Negative People screwing your confidence

[chicksrock]

How do you DJ's handle negative ppl?
I try not to let it bother me when people are negative to me..
i think they feel threatened by my DJness!

The obvious answer would be to not to hang around these negative people..
but what if these negative people are the ones you love like your family !
I feel family pressures some what limits your growth potential..
How do you DJ's get past such obstacles.. ?

I have a strong belief in myself and know whats truth..
it would just help if environments were more encouraging sometimes..

I guess meeting other DJ's on this board gives me encouragement..and i guess that is why people keep in touch with this board!

any thoughts any one?

 

[chicksrock]

bump

-

 

[chicksrock]

I think i need to clarify on what they're being negative about
eg
"you are ugly you can't score chicks"
"you can never score girls"
"your new haircut is crap"
"your new clothes make you looks like a fruitcake"
"the way you dance at clubs is gay"
"you are way too dodgy..no chick will want you"


GRRR makes me angry... i have a feeling some family members are just jealous of me .. !!!
but still it is upseting
*sniff sniff*

anybody got any comforting thoughts to share with me..

 

[chicksrock]

maybe it is also because this person also happens to be my older sister ! !

any DJ's with annoying older sisters out there?

 

[[look]aRhino]

Nope. I've got a younger sister, but we are pretty supportive of each other. We're pretty close. I might be lucky.

As for you, just pay your sister no thought. You're stuck with her cause shes your family, so just accept the fact that shes like that and don't hang around her much.

Rhino

 

[Duke]

Sorry to say this, bro, but if your sister said all that to you, then she's a fukkng *****. Ignore her.

You can let her negative shyt-talking get you down and succumb to her.

OR you can throw it back in her face by keeping her awake at night because of all female moaning coming from your room!!

PROVE HER WRONG. Take small steps if you need to. But don't let her win.

You obviously want to improve yourself, because that is why you are here! As long as you want to improve and take action to do so, you're making progress. Seriously, live in YOUR REALITY, not your SISTER'S REALITY.

Occasionally my mom or dad will bring negativity to my doorstep. They will try to rush me and make me second-guess myself. They question my ability to do the simplest shyt. But I live in MY REALITY, not THEIRS. So I have full-confidence that I can handle anything that comes up, and I do everything in an unhurried, relaxed manner.

 

[neobrood]

"you are ugly you can't score chicks"

I've seen many ugly and//or fat guys with supermodel girls clinging on them...

Physical appearance is only 10%. I would rate myself a "4" on physical appearance... I swear I'm ugly!!! But I'm able to flirt with chicks...

So what if you are ugly... confidence is what matters. Look into their eyes and speak with confidence. That works. I tried it.

In case they just ignore you, don't take it too personally. Just move on... Tell yourself that "pfft... this chick is missing alot. I'm a great guy"... That eases the pain of rejection tho.

"you can never score girls"
"your new haircut is crap"
"your new clothes make you looks like a fruitcake"

pfft... these physical stuff have nothing to do with scoring girls. Haircut... clothes... pfft... so what.

"the way you dance at clubs is gay"

At least you got guts to dance...

 

[comic_relief]

Use quick wit to make fun of her and turn the tables on her. Just dig up some dirt and I am sure that she has some embarresing moments and get back at her. Or just tell her straight up to STFU.
I suggest quick wit because usually that makes the most damage. there is a bunch of threads on wit and humor just do a search on it

 

[JT47319]

Practice your ****y & funny on her and neg her. See if you have the skillz.

 

[chicksrock]

Originally posted by JT47319
Practice your ****y & funny on her and neg her. See if you have the skillz.

I have tried but just get SHUT DOWN...

Use quick wit to make fun of her and turn the tables on her.

I am not a negative person, and find it hard to stoop to her level,
so far I just ignore her and talk 2 sentences to her per day ..
Plus I feel better about myself if i stay positive, rather than getting
bi*tchy...

I do live in MY REALITY ...and my reality is about being expressive and having the freedom to do what I like.... I am happy... her reality is boring as fcuk... she might be subconsiously jealous of my reality...

I have already proved her wrong that I can get chicks....but she always has a comeback line...
"the chicks that fall for you are dodge"

in my AFC days I used to let my mom and sister dictate what I should wear, my haircut...everything ..... I really had to ****ing fight for my freedom and break out of this shell they had enclosed on me..

 

[Hoobie]

Why don't you light some candles and sit down with her one sunday evening, when mom and dad are off at the movies, and you two are both alone in the house. Ask her in a firm but calm tone why she's being so mean to you. Tell her that it's really hurting your feelings, and affecting your self esteem.

Speak with passion, speak with honesty... speak from your heart.

If tears come, then let them flow. Don't hold back. Talk about the time when you were 6 years old when it was just you two against the world. Tell her that she is your sister, and that you'll always love and care for her.

... And if that doesn't work, just tell me where you guys live, and I'll come over and f*ck her in the ass, to teach her a lesson.

No, seriously though dude.

You're 21, who gives a f*ck what she thinks about you!!!!??? If you're this affected by your own sister, how are you going to handle crashing and burning on cold approaches?!

 

[chicksrock]

heehehe..you're absolutely right hoobie

I can predict her response though...she thinks that she is right..and she's only doing me a favour by telling me these things..becuase she thinks "i'm going of the rails"

she needs to chill out a bit i think..

I also think that my over-confidence intimidates her. .

I am trying not to let it affect me...
It is sometimes hard considering this is your family...and you sometimes think that your family knows whats best for you...
I have slowly come to the realization that only I know what is BEST for ME.

I think the best strategy for now is to block her out...
and when I find a good time to talk to her about it I will...and try and make peace...

 

[Ebach]

chrisrock, don't listen to hoobie. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Until your sister is at least 25 you can't speak honest to her because she's still a child. Don't listen to everyone who says that women are more mature than men. That's brutal bull**** and every woman out there knows it. It just makes them more powerful.

In any case, this is a typical brother/sister relationship. She obviously envies you so she has to tease you about everything. Don't let it bother you. Have fun with it. Give her some witty come backs and make HER shut up.

It's not about stooping down her level. She knows you're more confident than her, etc., and that's why she's trying to put you down. She wants to feel equal if not more powerful than you but she can't. So next time she says something to you, play back. Tease her about her haircut, dancing, whatever.

The relationship with your mother is different. Don't let anyone choose your style. Sometimes what you do for the family is not always best for you. Once you get in your 20-25 range you start making decisions that will be in your best interest and sometimes the family gets mad. But don't let that bother you. They'll get used to it. They still think of you as that little child without power. You're growing and you're showing. Keep changing and empowering yourself in every way you can, and keep good with your relatives. Once your sister gets in her mid 20's she'll be more mature and less teaseful. For now though, have fun with her.

 

[chicksrock]

Ebach!
Thanks dude.. you sound very postive about the whole thing which is very encouraging...
I'll take your word for it that women don't mature until they're bout 25!hehe

Yea I think I'll just play along and tease her back too .. and not make too much of a drama out of it and let her actions affect me..
I should just laugh off her comments...which I do most of the time

eg
sister = "negative comment"
me = "haha..yea whatever ... you know and i know that I am just fcuking awesome...and all the chicks dig me "

hehehe !

 

[neobrood]

I have tried but just get SHUT DOWN...

Yeah...

I tried to do ****y and Funny to my mom... when she was b!tchin about this and that and all the little things...

my aim was to turn the situation into a joking situation.

and guess wat:

THE MORE IT PISSED HER OFF...

And now, I'm "disrespectful"

 

[chicksrock]

dude i hear your pain...

i think one must strike a balance with family (if you find the family works against your game)
that is strike a cordial relationship..
but develp the freedom ..and get out there and do what you want...

to some extent my family respects me for taking responsibilities into my own hands

 

[slipstreamer83]

Originally posted by neobrood
Yeah...

I tried to do ****y and Funny to my mom... when she was b!tchin about this and that and all the little things...

my aim was to turn the situation into a joking situation.

and guess wat:

THE MORE IT PISSED HER OFF...

And now, I'm "disrespectful"

I see that I´m not the only one here.

I have been living with my mother alone for 10 years. I´m 20, that´s half of my life. During these 10 years I have been manipulated by her, she has told me shyt about my brothers, but mainly about my father. She should solve her problems with them, she should not tell me how "bad" they are. Besides, they don´t know what my mother tells me, so they can´t defend themselves.

Apart from that, since I started having a different opinion from her she has been disrespectful to me. She doesn´t let me speak, even if I speak correctly.

She has also blackmailed me emotionally. "If you don´t come here now, then I will go", "What you have just said shows me that you think I´m mad" are some of the sentences she has told me since I was a child.

The worst thing is that when she manipulates me by acting like a victim, I don´t even realize it on the spot because I´m so used to it that it makes me feel guilty and bad. When other people have done it as well, I have considered it normal, too.

I´m seeing a psychologist this Friday. I have been trying to fix it (me!!!!!!!!!!) with my mother. Some things have improved, but from time to time I feel like she does not respect me fully. I think that on Friday I will tell my mother all these things, and that we can get on well, but from now on there has to be a distance between her and me, like strangers.

You know, I have tried to forgive all these. But even if she changes completely, I don´t think I can forgive her for all she has done to me. I just want to have her as far as I can, and get a proper sense of what self-respect is.

Can someone give me his opinion?

 

[SDBmania]

I've been reading Dr. Phil's book, "Self Matters," and I have learned that people tend to base their self-concept on what others think. People tend to form an opinion on themselves based on what other people think. You need to stop that! Really take some time to analsys yourself and replace those negitive statements that you say to your self. You shouldn't accept everything people say to you as truth.

 

[chicksrock]

SDBmania good point...
There are a lot of meanies out there who say all kinds of sh*t to you.. you have to ignore them and live in what you believe and what you want to achieve in life...

its a shame so many ppl are so negative .. i think it comes from everyone being AFC..

but i've always upheld my positive attitude..
and I never go and speak negative to anyone ...coz in the end it just makes you more negative..
always speak positive..and i think all DJ's should practice that

 

[[look]aRhino]

You know what might frustrate your sister? When she insults you, just regress to a really immature level.

When my sister used to insult me, I used to reply with things like "oh yeah? well, Your mom!" or "your face is ugly!".

It'll just piss her off because you're being so random and you're not really acknowledging her. She just won't understand (especially the mom comments), and it'll throw her off.

Rhino

PS. Next time she tells you that the girls that like you are dodge, tell her her face is dodge and then when she tells you you're so stupid, tell her her face is so stupid.