"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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needy gf

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BlackDragon

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its starting to get really annoying...she calls too much and want to talk for hours. We live a little under a hour apart so...we talk by phone alot because i only see on the weekends mostly. She is a really sweet gurl and i love her but...it only been a few months and im starting to get annoyed with all the neediness and emotional feelings. I told her before we start going out that im leaving Germany to go to Japan in a few months. Now she get really sad or cry whenever that subject comes up. And today I told her i wanted to go to bed early becuase I go to the gym early in the morning and she got upset and hung up the phone.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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girl_in_a_boy_forum

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BlackDragon said:
its starting to get really annoying...she calls too much and want to talk for hours. We live a little under a hour apart so...we talk by phone alot because i only see on the weekends mostly.
1. She is a really sweet gurl and i love her but...it only been a few months and im starting to get annoyed with all the neediness and emotional feelings.
2. I told her before we start going out that im leaving Germany to go to Japan in a few months. Now she get really sad or cry whenever that subject comes up.
3. And today I told her i wanted to go to bed early becuase I go to the gym early in the morning and she got upset and hung up the phone.
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1. Fair enough. I wouldn't want to deal with neediness either.
2. Do you not want her to be sad about you leaving? Sounds like she's dreading the upcoming distance and can probably make a tally of how many times she'll get to see you before you go.
How long are you going to be abroad? Months? Or just for a vacation? Why not encourage her to enjoy what time you have together now and leave the tears for when they're warranted?
3. ...and this is why I hate talking on the phone. Over the receiver, a legitimate excuse sounds like rejection. (I'm not saying it's your fault or her behavior is appropriate, just that often things get misinterpreted over the phone.)

I think the reason she's being so needy is because she only gets to see you on weekends...is it at all possible to spend time together during the week? And since you're tired of phone talk, why not tell her in advance, "Honey, I have a lot of work to do on __________, so how about I call you on _______ when I'm done?"

Again, not saying that I support her actions, but I can see where she's coming from.
 
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AFC Savior

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you dont love her if u are annoyed by her showing u the love that she wants to show you


girls like her are the girls that every guy hopes to get, the girl that shows her interest "loud and proud"

be happy that you have her, shes acting like a girl who is not emotionally ****ed up by society
 
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LegendBoy

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Thats a good thing she's like that, means she loves you a lot and like the guy above me said she isn't like the woman who hide the emotions and play games. She just laying it out for you. Isn't that better then a sneaky and manipulative woman? Me thinks so.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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BlackDragon

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i know she is a good gurl...thats why i really care about her. I just dont like talking on the phone every night...im usually tired because i wake up early. We can't really see each other more often...she has college and work...i have a lot more free time though..because i only work. I going to be station to another base in Japan....so 2 years I'll be there. Im not sure if I ever go back to germany...but i told her I would come visit her over the summer.

I guess i can understand the neediness because im leaving in a few months. I dont want to be apart from her either....but I couldn't give up going to Japan. My dream is to travel around the world and Asia is my next stop.
 
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PlaysToWin

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I disagree that this girl's behaviour is what guys should be looking for. And I believe the OP is right to be concerned and upset at her behaviour.

She is acting needy and insecure. It's not a sign or her love for you, it's a sign of her emotional dependency and insecurity. Not to be mistaken for genuine love.

Has she no life of her own? Has she no hobbies or friends to distract her during the week? And she has no right to give out if you want an early night. A secure person would assume that your excuse was genuine and that you just wanted an early night and would have left you be, happily. An insecure person errs on the negative side, assuming you're lying to her and you don't want to talk to her anymore cos there's something wrong with her.
 
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