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Needs:What is all boils down to

Igetit!

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What's up guys. I thought I'd share a relevation I discovered about attraction/relationships a long time ago,something I thought might be helpful to everyone. This is something I had to learn the hard way. I failed over and over and over again with dating/women until I figured this one thing out,and that one thing is this:NEEDS. Believe it or not,this is what it all boils down to,guys. You meeting the relationship needs of a woman,and a woman meeting your relationship needs. Allow me to explain. In a relationship,a man has needs,and a woman has needs. There are many different kinds of needs, and some needs are more important than others. But for a man,he has one primary need above all others that a woman must fulfill,and if she doesn't fulfill it,he WILL NOT be happy. And a woman has a primary need above all others that a man must fulfill,and if he doesn't fulfill it,she WILL NOT be happy. Let me give an example. Let's say that a guy meets a girl,and on a scale of 1 to 10,she's a 9 or 9.5. She can cook,clean,she's extremely beautiful,she's nice,honest,faithful,generous,hardworking,in other words she's everything that a guy would like to have in a woman. She has all these qualitites,BUT,she won't fulfill his primary need for a relationship,and in a relationship,a man's primary need in order to be happy is sex.

Now,if she won't has sex with him,(or that is,if she won't meet his primary need),then that whole list I just gave about her means nothing. None of it matters. I don't care how nice she is,how beautiful she is,how kind she is,how honest or faithful she may be,if she won't have sex with the guy(meet his primary need),he WILL NOT be happy in the relationship,period. That's with a woman meeting a man's need.
Now,if you flip this thing,if you reverse it to where it's a man meeting a woman's need,it's the same thing. The only difference is the "need" is different. Instead of sex being her primary need,her primary need is chemistry,fire,passion,or whatever you want to call it. She has to "feel" something. This is her primary need for a relationship,and if a man does not meet this one need for her,nothing else he does will matter.She WILL NOT be happy,period. You can be the nicest,the sweetest,the most honest,the most handsome,the most faithful,you can have a big house,drive a fancy car,have a big bank account,you can have all these things going for you,but unless she "feels" attraction/chemistry for you,all these things mean nothing. Chemistry for a woman is equal to sex for a man. If a man does not have sex in his relationship,he won't be happy,and if a woman doesn't feel chemistry in her relationship,she won't be happy. It's kind of like needing gas for a car. You can wash the car,wax it,put brand new tires on it,completely redo the interior,tint the windows,give it a new paint job,and on and on. You can do like a thousand different things,but unless you put gas in it(fulfill the need),it ain't going nowhere. And all the things you did to the car don't mean squat. It's the same way with relationships. A woman can do a thousand different things for a guy: cook,clean,sew,buy him gifts,pay his rent,etc,etc,but unless she'll have sex with him,he won't be interested in her.
He may want to keep her around in order to keep getting all the things she's giving him,but as far as a one on one exclusive relationship,nope,that ain't happening. Same thing with a woman. A guy can do a thousand different things for her: buy her flowers,give her compliments,take her out to dinner,basically give her all he has,but unless she "feels" chemistry for the guy,it's all useless. She might want to keep him around to keep getting the free meals,and to keep getting the constant reenforcement to her ego that she is desired,but as far as a relationship goes,not happening.
 

ljm

Don Juan
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Good point, so how would you go about keeping chemistry? I find this the hardest in a relationship to keep.
 

Igetit!

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Well, I'd have to agree with you on that one. Chemistry can be tough to maintain, but it is doable. Imo, attraction is like a rollercoaster. It has highs and lows. But if it gets too low for too long a period of time,the woman's behavior will start to change,but the change happens so gradually it's sometime hard to notice until it's almost too late. These are some signs that I look for:does she come up with excuse after excuse NOT to spend time with you,does she constantly break dates,if you ask her what is wrong she says "nothing",she gives excuses about why she can't be intimate with you,she spends more and more time with her friends and less time with you.
If she does these things with you,and I mean repeatedly,it means that YOU screwed somewhere. Just like her giving you her number and going out on a date with you was her response to the way you approached her, her avoiding you,and coming up with reason after reason not to be in your presense is a response to the lack of chemistry she now feels. So, in order to keep the passion alive, I would do the following things. Be unpredictable: If you call her every night at 8:00pm,call one night at 10:00pm instead,or just skip a night altogether. If you are sitting down,and she comes and sits on your lap and you kiss her,the next time she sits on your lap,tell her to get off of you. Another thing that generates chemistry is you acting and behaving like a man. The more masculine,the more manly you are,the more feminine she feels.
 
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