"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Needing help guys, serious IOI issue!

Chipleader

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Alrite guys, been ages since Ive come on here. Not needed to after all the great advice and info I found here. I have a rather difficult situation going on at the moment....
Basically theres a bird I know who I like, and we've been getting on very well for a month or so. All the IOI's were there, and finally we ended up kissing last tuesday in a local club. When I say "ended up kissing", I meant we spent three hours kissing, holding hands even (shudder) hugging and arm stroking and other sobby ****. Yeh yeh I know, how lame. But we were both extremely drunk. Now comes my issue. What do to next. I am seriously interested in her, not sure what the next move should be. Im tempted to see the events of last tuesday as the ultimate IOI and just go for it and ask her out, the only thing that stops me is thinking she may only have done that **** cos she was so hammered..... although Ive always thought alcohol NEVER EVER makes anybody do anything they dont want to do. It cant. It makes you do what you DO want to do, only ur usually scared too. Anybody agree, disagree with this point?
I just seeking you're opinion here guys, what would you do? Appreciate you're help, this site is ****ing awesome..... :up:
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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The Deacon

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You've never asked her out before? Did you go to the club with a group of friends, or did you go alone with her but not call it an official date?

Chances are, though, she may feel dirty after kissing you. Was there any kino escalation during the month? Did you at least hold her hand in the month before you went into the club and made out for three hours? If you jumped right into that one, there's a good chance she won't answer your calls, cause she'll expect that you'll expect sex.

About your statement on alcohol... I wouldn't say it makes you do exactly what you want to do. Some guys end up f***ing ugly chicks while drunk, does that mean they want to f*** ugly chicks? Probably not.

Anyway, I am willing to bet that she's just gonna feel like a wh*re and it'll be hard for you to talk to her again, unless you escalated to that point.

But hey, trends are made to be broken.
 

saber

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ask her to hang out, no big deal right? the worst she could say is no

when you do hang out have the attitude that you always thought she was a cool person and you never expected anything romantic to happen but are glad it did (she must be too or she wouldn't hang with you)

act like a normal date but when things get physical thow in some pre-emptive lmr and say you don't wanna do anything right at the start

not sure if this would work but its what i would try

also is she the kinda girl to do this a lot? you have to judge her personality
 

Chipleader

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The Deacon said:
You've never asked her out before? Did you go to the club with a group of friends, or did you go alone with her but not call it an official date?
.
Not really hung out before mate. We were both out with different groups of mates, but we both knew each other would be out.

The Deacon said:
Chances are, though, she may feel dirty after kissing you. Was there any kino escalation during the month? Did you at least hold her hand in the month before you went into the club and made out for three hours? If you jumped right into that one, there's a good chance she won't answer your calls, cause she'll expect that you'll expect sex.

.
Not really much Kino escalation, BUT I did not make the first move or any move really that night. It was all her. Which is the first time in my life that has happened!


Thanks for ur help mate!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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