needadvice with that one

[Toreador]

hi,

i was out with that girl, i recently approached. we were sitting in an ****tailbar and started talking, she was laughing all the time and kept smiling due to my humor. later on, we just sat there and we were holding hands and looking to each other`s eyes, we were just looking and both of us looked each other somehow "in love" she was a bit shy, cause my view in her eyes made her feel abashed, still she kept smiling and she massaged my hands. she said, that she had not expected that we would match so good etc.

the main point

after a few hours in that ****tailbat ( the time just flied by) we were walking to the subwaystation, hand in hand, and she did the first kiss actually,when I was making some fun and came close to her face, since then I started to hug her and kuddle a bit

when weh were in the subwaystation, i called her to come closer,cause i wanted to hug a bit more and since then we did some tongue kissing ( still the first date )

she said before,that she wanted to meet again, since we match.

SO here ist comes, the train came, i went inside and wrote her a

short message: take care and dream something beautiful, preferably something of me

NO ANSWER!

ok next day:

I wrote her again a short message, since she told me she would write me, because she did not,I did,cos I was worried somehow

short message NR.2:

Hi, I enjoyed yesterday, it was a lot of fun with you, still I cant forget about your bright eyes *smile* have yóu got my message from yesterday? I am looking forward to meet you again, if you wish to

NO ANSWER!

later I called her on the cell phone, but the phone was just ringing (she cannot see my number on her display, so she could not know, that it was me)

Question: Whats going on here? how should I behave, now don`t get me wrong, I believe that the chemistry between us,was just perfect, there was so much attraction from both sides, but still I can`t understand whats going on, and I don`t want to call 50 times a day, you probably understand me here

could it be, that my last kiss, was short and not good (with tongue), because I was in a big rush ( the subway already arrives and I had to hurry, kissing her). Do you think, that she believes, that I am a bad kisser?

I am probably overanayzing, normally I dont care about these sorts of behaviours, but I know that she is special

PLEASE HELP

 

[Wiesman44]

she liked you on teh first date, so you pretty much knew you were good for a second right ?

So therefore, you be a challenge to her. Play with her head, make her guess whether u really like her. Women love that.

You basically went total AFC on her, and made her disinterested.

You can't all of a sudden call a girl every day and say how great and beautiful she is and how the world should revolve around her.

C'mon, your not Brad Pitt, that sorta crap doesn't work after meeting a girl once.

 

[Toreador]

so what shall I do now? I feel like I have to call, otherwise the contact will go down, and somehow I am worried, cos she dosesnt answer her cell phone (she cannot see my number in the display) so therefore, why should`n`t she answer it?

 

[Swoop]

Originally posted by Toreador
so what shall I do now? I feel like I have to call, otherwise the contact will go down, and somehow I am worried, cos she dosesnt answer her cell phone (she cannot see my number in the display) so therefore, why should`n`t she answer it?

She has your # right? You already left a message more than once, so be patient. Let her contact you back. She will if she is still interested in you.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

You are not exchanging love in a healthy way. You act and she did not. Now you are continuing to act. You are becoming needy and desparate.

There is nothing wrong with her. It is you. You are not playing love tennis, you are forcing her to hit the ball back instead of letting her.

 

[Toreador]

so shall i wait for 2 days or something like that and call then, to ask what`went wrong? I mean, it could be that she wants to see how interested I really am in her.

PS: You think I should email instead after a few days?

man, I hate that, she banged up my head

 

[Swoop]

Originally posted by Toreador
so shall i wait for 2 days or something like that and call then, to ask what`went wrong? I mean, it could be that she wants to see how interested I really am in her.

PS: You think I should email instead after a few days?

man, I hate that, she banged up my head

Yes wait at least a couple of days... don't call, don't txt, don't email. Nothing.. let her get back to you.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

Toreador.

Did you read what I said? You are needing her. The more need you show the less she will want you. You two had a healthy exchange one night. That was a good night. You have to not need it again. Read what I said. Love tennis.

 

[Toreador]

@mr spitfire: yes, I get you here. It is her turn, but what if she is of the opinion, that it is me who should "push the button"?

I will wait, till end of the week and then I am going to call her, if she has`nt before contacted me.

Think this might be the best solution, you guys too?

 

[Mr Spitfire]

Toreador.

Listen to me. You have already come off as needy and pushy. This is a fact. She may be giving you one last chance. She might decide to wait a full TWO WEEKS to contact you. CALL HER IN SIX WEEKS.

SIX WEEKS. NOT ONE WEEK. SIX WEEKS.

 

[Toreador]

ok so here is my plan:

she told me on the first date, that she will visit her little sister for the weekend, cos ist is the sisters birthday, ok, so therefore I could not date her this weekend anyway, so it makes no sense to call, txt or whatever. So I focus on maybe, date her the weekend after this one, I might give it a try, then I know for certain if she is interessetd or not, because I don´t want to bother myself with that, and I am sick of playing games.

You might think, it is to early to meet/call again, but how much time should pass more away, between date no.1 and no.2?

I think it is not needy, if I give a middle of next week call: " hey, its me, would you like to meet saturday?"

just a plain question, and we´ll see.


JUST MY THOUGHTS ON THAT

 

[fyrefly]

Originally posted by Toreador

short message: take care and dream something beautiful, preferably something of me

NO ANSWER!

Your first mistake. A huge mistake, a gigantic mistake, you should have just gone home and waited for her to call you

Originally posted by Toreador

I wrote her again a short message, since she told me she would write me, because she did not,I did,cos I was worried somehow

short message NR.2:

Hi, I enjoyed yesterday, it was a lot of fun with you, still I cant forget about your bright eyes *smile* have yóu got my message from yesterday? I am looking forward to meet you again, if you wish to

NO ANSWER!

Your second huge mistake, now you appear incredibly needy, and this is the biggest turn-off for girls.

Originally posted by Toreador

Question: Whats going on here? how should I behave, now don`t get me wrong, I believe that the chemistry between us,was just perfect, there was so much attraction from both sides, but still I can`t understand whats going on, and I don`t want to call 50 times a day, you probably understand me here

could it be, that my last kiss, was short and not good (with tongue), because I was in a big rush ( the subway already arrives and I had to hurry, kissing her). Do you think, that she believes, that I am a bad kisser?

That would be the last thing on her mind

Originally posted by Toreador

I am probably overanayzing, normally I dont care about these sorts of behaviours, but I know that she is special

Yes, yes you are.....you are in big trouble mate you've made some stupid mistakes, here's three pointers to remember

1. ANY GIRL YOU LIKE CAN BE SPECIAL
2. DO NOT SHOW ANY SIGNS THAT YOU NEED HER OR WANT HER
3. IF SHE DOES SOMETHING YOU DON'T LIKE, IGNORE HER FOR A WHILE

 

[Toreador]

so now I messed up and should give up or what?

 

[fyrefly]

give up for 2 weeks, do not call her, do not txt her, wait until she calls you or contacts you, after 2 weeks call her and pretend like nothin has happened and ask her to dinner or something, if she asks why you haven't called tell her you just wanted some space, then ask why she didn't call

if she doesn't answer or is uninterested after 2 weeks, ditch her ass and find somebody who will treat u right

 

[Toreador]

probably the best solution after all, tough I think that 2 weeks is a long time, I do not wan`t her to have memory problems with who I actually was.

SORRY GUYS, I AM JUST MESSED UP IN MY BRAIN

 

[fyrefly]

she won't, i haven't forgotten a girl i knocked back two months ago, partly because i wish i hadn't knocked her back

 

[Toreador]

just spoke to a friend of mine ( a girl) she confirmed your opinions about giving her space, she said, it could be, that this whole kissing stuff was going too fast for her and that she might could have considered to slow down for a while, to not appear as a slut or something like that, also she said, that my short messages weren't obtrusive.

any hint what to do, in case she doesn't contact me, is there a "emergency email option" ? I mean, I could say that I was worried about her, since she was not reachable, as an excuse you know?

 

[n00bPimp]

If she doesnt call you you should consider going over to her house and maybe bring a policeman too so that you can have the excuse that you thought something bad had happened to her. Maybe she'll fall in love with you because she'll realize how caring you are.
Or you can also forget about her and focus on the next woman. Its your choice.

 

[Toreador]

normally I would have moved on, sure, but I hate to admit it, I fell somehow in love with her, ít is so embarassing to me, it has never happened this fast, she was just perfect, and I really mean perfect!

why would you else think, I would care so much for her. I don`t know why this happened, because,when I grabbed her number, I had not had this strong feeling for her, though I saw her.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

Toreador.

You are starting to sound hopeless. Stop posting.