Need to UP my ****y and Funny Attitude

[alphamale1]

Hay Guys

I know alot of canned material and is funny, fun and all but i need to come up with my own stuff at the spur of the moment so i was wondering how you guys mastered this stuff.

Im not normally ****y and funny but women love it as they always laugh at my ****y and funny statements

I know that
****y guy is too overconfident
Arrogant is where u think ur more important that everyone else
and that whatever they say is really nothing.

but i am not normally ****y, naturally funny but not naturally arrogant.

some C&F examples ive tried to come up with

Squashed in a bus and talking to a chick:
Me: I feel like a sandwich in here, im the bread, shes my tasty ham (pointing at some hot chick), she my wet lettuce (pointing at another hot chick) and shes my hot cheese (pointing at some other hot chick) and ur my dripping sauce as u r worth the squeeze .(maybe squash her, maybe)

Girl is sitting to far from me:
Me: Ya know once u have finished playing 'Ur It', u can come sit close to me.....but once u are sitting next to me.......no touching....i do all the touching.

Girl is cold and ur wearing a jacket
Me: Here u can wear my jacket
Me: ive kept it warm for u
Me (put it on her) it is cold without it, but u wear it.
Her: Thanks
Me: u can reward me later.
Her: oh my
Me: with my warm jacket back of course......................................... and ur hands in my pants keeping my **** warm.

Any tips guys

 

[frivolousz21]

why dont you become confident first.

if you were sure of yourself..it would either be natural or you wouldnt havent to worry about it

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

i come up with it spur of the moment, it just takes practice look at how stand up comdeidnas imprevise! I can not really give you ant tips on how to do it because there isnt really anytihng that can make you natrually funny, just practice!

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by alphamale1

Squashed in a bus and talking to a chick:
Me: I feel like a sandwich in here, im the bread, shes my tasty ham (pointing at some hot chick), she my wet lettuce (pointing at another hot chick) and shes my hot cheese (pointing at some other hot chick) and ur my dripping sauce as u r worth the squeeze .(maybe squash her, maybe)

Girl is sitting to far from me:
Me: Ya know once u have finished playing 'Ur It', u can come sit close to me.....but once u are sitting next to me.......no touching....i do all the touching.

Girl is cold and ur wearing a jacket
Me: Here u can wear my jacket
Me: ive kept it warm for u
Me (put it on her) it is cold without it, but u wear it.
Her: Thanks
Me: u can reward me later.
Her: oh my
Me: with my warm jacket back of course......................................... and ur hands in my pants keeping my **** warm.

Any tips guys

Hmmm, you need to work on the c&f ... I wouldn't catch myself dead saying those lines...

 

[So Many Ways]

When you're with your friends, do you guys bag on each other, give each other ****? Do you play the dozens, clown each other, things like that?

Think of how you act when you're with your boys, how you guys give each other a hard time. C&F with a female is similar. You're basically giving her a hard time, but in a playful, flirtatious manner. You're not doing to be mean, you're doing it to have fun, you need to remember the distinction. I think the "little sister" frame is a very effective one for delivering C&F. Do you have female friends? Use them as practive, and if they start lighting up, touching you, smiling and things like that, you know it's working.

Personally, I don't have a lot of canned C&F, most of my stuff is spur of the moment. You can try some of David Deangelo's stuff, personally I haven't field tested all of his stuff, only some of it, but the stuff I did try out worked well. I think starting off, think of canned responses to questions like "Where do you live, what do you do" type questions. There are plenty of examples of that here on this site. Check out Weapons of Mass Seduction.

 

[RedKnight04]

Damn I had a thread awhile back in the tips section on a whole lot of examples but doubt its their anymore.

Anyways its not the ****y part so much but being a funny *******. like this:

You had :"Girl is cold and ur wearing a jacket" (Sounds more like a **** test to see if your a wuss but whatever)

I would say: "Heres my jacket, now I don't have my credit card machine but I'll take cash."

Learn more on being funny. What makes people laugh? What makes people say "oh what an ******* but that was funny!"?

Your walking through the mall:

(You stop and look at yourself in the window of a shop pretending to fix your hair)

Her: Whats wrong?

Me: Whats wrong? Honey, it takes effort to provide such style and grace.

Learn sarcasm bro, learn how to role-play, learn how to be funny. Thats all I can really tell you but I'm not a good teacher.. GL

 

[RedKnight04]

The ****** is "funny a$$hole" And "Syht test"

Sorry haven't been here in awhile.

 

[Heizen]

Yours sound like just sexual connotations, nothing really funny about that.

Like what was said, its just giving the girl a hard time.

Things like calling girls slackers (I do this alot) or poking her and looking around and saying 'I didnt do it" when you obviously did, all C&F.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by alphamale1
Hay Guys

I know alot of canned material and is funny, fun and all but i need to come up with my own stuff at the spur of the moment so i was wondering how you guys mastered this stuff.

I'm just naturally that way, in fact I am often over ****y and arrogent. I've got the opposite problem as you. I can be ****y and funny but not always in a balanced way and I come off like an overzealous pr!ck.

Squashed in a bus and talking to a chick:
Me: I feel like a sandwich in here, im the bread, shes my tasty ham (pointing at some hot chick), she my wet lettuce (pointing at another hot chick) and shes my hot cheese (pointing at some other hot chick) and ur my dripping sauce as u r worth the squeeze .(maybe squash her, maybe)

Ok, first off STAY THE HECK AWAY from comparing girls with food. I saw a guy once on one of those dating shows who would constantly compare girls to "crunchy tacos" and "sauscy burritoes" and I felt like puking ... Trust me it doesn't do you any good...

Girl is sitting to far from me:
Me: Ya know once u have finished playing 'Ur It', u can come sit close to me.....but once u are sitting next to me.......no touching....i do all the touching.

No way, you are trying way too hard.
I would simply REMIND the girl to come closer. Maybe saying something like


"You can come sit closer to me if you want" or even "Hey, come sit closer "

and if she likes you she will sit closer.

Girl is cold and ur wearing a jacket
Me: Here u can wear my jacket
Me: ive kept it warm for u
Me (put it on her) it is cold without it, but u wear it.
Her: Thanks
Me: u can reward me later.
Her: oh my
Me: with my warm jacket back of course......................................... and ur hands in my pants keeping my **** warm.

Heck no, show us some mercy that's aweful .

Me: Here, take my jacket
Her:Thanks, what about you?
Me: Keep walking, we can warm up by the fire together later.

That's what you would say to a girl that you are in a relationship with. I read one of the guys above who gave a good ****y/funny response to that.

Not everything has to be entirely ****y, or funny, or arrogent. But it does help to build attraction. Just stop trying so hard.

Another thing you can do is go read the scripts for 'friends' and 'that seventies show' episodes and go look up the lines tom cruise said in 'top gun.'

The type of arrogent humour that is presented in those shows is basically the type of humour you want to achieve at the spur of the moment without thinking. It's possible, but takes a lot of work and effort.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

I treat the ****iness and arrogance AS the joke. I use a tongue-in-cheek tone, sly smile, wink, laugh, etc. when I say anything ****y. Ex. She compliments me. I sigh, look smugly up at the sky, and say "Yeah, I know, I AM pretty DAMN cool." Then grin at her.

 

[Interpol]

Originally posted by alphamale1

some C&F examples ive tried to come up with

Squashed in a bus and talking to a chick:
Me: I feel like a sandwich in here, im the bread, shes my tasty ham (pointing at some hot chick), she my wet lettuce (pointing at another hot chick) and shes my hot cheese (pointing at some other hot chick) and ur my dripping sauce as u r worth the squeeze .(maybe squash her, maybe)

Girl is sitting to far from me:
Me: Ya know once u have finished playing 'Ur It', u can come sit close to me.....but once u are sitting next to me.......no touching....i do all the touching.

Girl is cold and ur wearing a jacket
Me: Here u can wear my jacket
Me: ive kept it warm for u
Me (put it on her) it is cold without it, but u wear it.
Her: Thanks
Me: u can reward me later.
Her: oh my
Me: with my warm jacket back of course......................................... and ur hands in my pants keeping my **** warm.

Any tips guys

WOW.

These lines are great...if you wanna get arrested. These are about the sleaziest jokes I can imagine (except for the first one, which is just plain retarded).

If you actually tried any of these on cold approaches, the girls would have to be completely insane to even stay in the same area as you. And you better hope you don't try them on girls who have taken self-defense courses, or you might end up with a high kick to the jaw.

 

[Hollowpoint]

I was cringing as I was reading the first post.
What rgeere said.

 

[alphamale1]

Cheers

Frivolousz21:

why dont you become confident first.

if you were sure of yourself..it would either be natural or you wouldnt havent to worry about it

Me:

I am confident with myself in my clothes, my posture, my walk and making people laugh. Im trying to imagine arrogant events or even ****y things, my mind thinks, my mouth opens but nothing comes out.

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So Many Ways:

I think starting off, think of canned responses to questions like "Where do you live, what do you do" type questions. There are plenty of examples of that here on this site. Check out Weapons of Mass Seduction.

Me: Yeah I think the 'little sister' frame is the best but I
still find myself living with the words as I still dont see
much ****y people talk.

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RedKnight

I like that credit card machine one, its cool

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Heizen:

Things like calling girls slackers (I do this alot) or poking her and looking around and saying 'I didnt do it" when you obviously did, all C&F.

Me:

I am poking woman these days and I also tap woman on the back when i just happen to be behind them without them know and they look around to see who it was and I give them that 'looking around making it obvious that it was me look' and then I look at them to show them that it was me and they giggle.

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Rgeere, thanks I'll look up those scripts
sounds interesting

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Always Excel:

I treat the ****iness and arrogance AS the joke. I use a tongue-in-cheek tone, sly smile, wink, laugh, etc. when I say anything ****y. Ex. She compliments me. I sigh, look smugly up at the sky, and say "Yeah, I know, I AM pretty DAMN cool." Then grin at her.

Me: I like that line its fun

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Thanks for the advice guys.

 

[Pugsley_f5]

hey bud , I am the same way it is not my normal personality, im the type that when im selling they say to be enthusiastic, and it is EXTREMELY hard to be enthusiastic without a situation , just not normal for my personality............................................................................................... AND Being C+F boils down to one this to commit to memory, TAKE WHAT SHES SAYS AND PULL IT OUT OF CONTEXT.


there was a C+F thread on here that was really good recently several pages long check it out.

 

[b's nuts]

your trying to hard, and those are the worst lines ever, i think you would be better off with something like:

"if we were two squirrels in a tree, could i bust a nut in your hole?"

really sounds like you need to relax, i don't care who says those lines you had, its not going to sound natural, and its definately creepy. Remember, they talk 70 percent you talk 30. In those you were definately talking more. I dunno, i think your still in the wrong frame of mind. Its not perverted sexuall comments or enuendo, well, maybe a few perverted sexuall comments but your enuendo sounds like a rapist. Rent some stand up, and take lessons from there. They comment on surroundings or situations, not dripping sauce on a sex sandwich or some sh*t. I feel like a sandwich in here? that sh*ts not funny. How about:

sitting on crowded bus next to hot girl -

you: did you just touch my ass?
her: no!
you: uh oh, i was hoping you did, cuz i just felt something warm back there.
you: point at hot girl ---> your my dripping sauce on a sex sanwich, now eat my tasty ham while sexily massaging my wet lettuce! SPROUTS!!!!!!!!!

out in the cold, girl no jacket:

you: jeeze, its kinda hot in this jacket, arent you freezing?
her: yes! let me wear it!
you: do you have lice or anything i should know about first?
her: ass! (arm punch)
you: lick my dripping sauce from my sex sanwich! Ill put my tasty ham in your wet lettuce!

Girl sitting far away from you:
you: you can sit here, its ok, i don't bite... sometimes.
her: umm, im ok over here.
you: but i need help with this sex sandwich, im not getting much friction cuz my lettuce is to wet so my tasty ham's not staying hard enough or going in very well, i think i used to much dripping sauce. NOW GO GET SOME MAYO!!

BOY, YOUR A DAMN SANDWICH PERV!

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Originally posted by alphamale1

some C&F examples ive tried to come up with

Squashed in a bus and talking to a chick:
Me: I feel like a sandwich in here, im the bread, shes my tasty ham (pointing at some hot chick), she my wet lettuce (pointing at another hot chick) and shes my hot cheese (pointing at some other hot chick) and ur my dripping sauce as u r worth the squeeze .(maybe squash her, maybe)

Girl is sitting to far from me:
Me: Ya know once u have finished playing 'Ur It', u can come sit close to me.....but once u are sitting next to me.......no touching....i do all the touching.

Girl is cold and ur wearing a jacket
Me: Here u can wear my jacket
Me: ive kept it warm for u
Me (put it on her) it is cold without it, but u wear it.
Her: Thanks
Me: u can reward me later.
Her: oh my
Me: with my warm jacket back of course......................................... and ur hands in my pants keeping my **** warm.

Any tips guys

I would pay a lot of money to see a guy try this stuff. And if it actually works, I will eat my shoes.

 

[Hollowpoint]

Hahaha those were great!

 

[jason86]

Originally posted by alphamale1
Hay Guys

I know alot of canned material and is funny, fun and all but i need to come up with my own stuff at the spur of the moment so i was wondering how you guys mastered this stuff.

Im not normally ****y and funny but women love it as they always laugh at my ****y and funny statements

I know that
****y guy is too overconfident
Arrogant is where u think ur more important that everyone else
and that whatever they say is really nothing.

but i am not normally ****y, naturally funny but not naturally arrogant.

some C&F examples ive tried to come up with

Squashed in a bus and talking to a chick:
Me: I feel like a sandwich in here, im the bread, shes my tasty ham (pointing at some hot chick), she my wet lettuce (pointing at another hot chick) and shes my hot cheese (pointing at some other hot chick) and ur my dripping sauce as u r worth the squeeze .(maybe squash her, maybe)

Girl is sitting to far from me:
Me: Ya know once u have finished playing 'Ur It', u can come sit close to me.....but once u are sitting next to me.......no touching....i do all the touching.

Girl is cold and ur wearing a jacket
Me: Here u can wear my jacket
Me: ive kept it warm for u
Me (put it on her) it is cold without it, but u wear it.
Her: Thanks
Me: u can reward me later.
Her: oh my
Me: with my warm jacket back of course......................................... and ur hands in my pants keeping my **** warm.

Any tips guys

I think you need to change your username.

 

[rgeere]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=61456

 

[skinnydart]

Watch comedy shows, this will really improve your sense of humor. Even though most of them are chick-flicks, it will work.

Like I used this one one girl the other day. I kinda asked her out-of-the-blue, guess i should have chatted with her a little first.

Me "So would you like to out and get some dinner tomorrow night?"
Her (scratching head, running hands through hair) "uh... um... why?" (I guess that was the best that she could come up with at the time, she was definently not exspecting me to ask)
Me "O, you know, so if we went out on the date, you'd be there"
Her (smiling) "what time did you say tomorrow?"

It was awesome, some other hot chick standing nearby was kinda shocked at how I pulled it off. I made sure to throw her a grin as I walked by with the girl by my side.