Need to take my game to the next level

[synergy1]

I am posting this thread hoping to enlist some ideas so as to improve my overall game with women. When I say game, I do not mean going out on random nights and picking them up. I'll expound later on this thread.

Most recent game : Lately I have been progressing well with my job and health. Week in and week out I am doing well to improve in each facet of life and enjoy being social. When it comes to women, the bar scene is almost becoming automatic and I can read the signals, approach, get the numbers, and sometimes have an ONS. (and sometimes not). I have an online account which I don't use too often, but gets hits daily but mostly by women I am not interested in. As mentioned in another thread, the last 3 weekends have been good and no one would probably suspect I want to improve this facet of my life.

Typical case This is the part of my game that has been bugging me lately. Its follow ups , even after sex. Now one might think that chronic flaking after hooking up might be due to poor performance, but this likely isn't the case ( well there is always a chance). For example a chick I went out with a few times and hooked up with a few times loved having sex and admitted it multiple times. Than a week later she ' met someone else and was happy'...in a scornful way. Fine by me as I moved on.

Fast forward to last weekend where I meet a chick with whom I had met up with twice before. We went out on the town, enjoyed the night ,and ended in multiple good sessions of sex. We seemed to get along well, so I invited her over again the next night but she up and left claiming her friend was 'having a bad night and had to go see her'. The next day I asked to see what she was up to and claimed that she was on the fence about hanging out again and later cancelled. Later last week i asked to see if she wanted to get together the following weekend and she had plans w/ no counter offer. Plan now is to lay off.

So in one of my many introspective moments I was wondering why this frequent situation keeps coming up. I get along with a chick, we have sex, than they leave. Part of me speculates that its my personality, but thats hard to determine since normalcy bias will pollute any objective facts. That said, its the only thing I can think of that makes women not attracted to me in that sense. Lately its bringing my confidence into question and is a hard pill to swallow at times.

Its been a few years of the same results. Re evaluation of my approach is necessary.

Does having sex with women too soon ruin subsequent chances? I usually follow up and try and set up subsequent dates

Am I coming off as too desperate/clingy by trying to set up a get together?

Should I wait longer to have sex and make them work for it?

Here are the cliff notes:

-I text, but too often. I don't even bring my phone to my job.
-I try and set up get togethers mid week.
- Women say that the sex was amazing, and the ONS is always amazing. They say they orgasm (multiple times).
- I am a good conversationalist and fairly smart. Maybe talk too much?
- When a women flakes, I remove their # and never contact them again.

Can't think of anything else. if anyone can give me some pointers on how to improve, what to change, or approaches to take would be much appreciated. This chronic women losing interest is starting to wear on me a bit.

Thanks in advance.

 

[TheCWord]

My take: No, having sex too soon does not ruin subsequent chances.

However, trying to make plans too soon or too often afterwards will kill you every time.

When you have sex early on in the relationship, you're being a man fulfilling your manly role and taking what you want. She will not think you are moving too fast.

So you have sex, then try to make plans too soon, then, when she's busy (truthfully or not) you text her again, "How about now? How about now?" Well, what you've done right there is made her re-evaluate: maybe you weren't just being a dominating, sexy man when you had sex with her that first date... maybe you ARE one of those guys that moves too fast... Too fast to sex, too fast to text, too fast to get all relationship-y.

When she gets those signals, well, she's seen that show before. So she bails.

 

[synergy1]

My take: No, having sex too soon does not ruin subsequent chances.

However, trying to make plans too soon or too often afterwards will kill you every time.

When you have sex early on in the relationship, you're being a man fulfilling your manly role and taking what you want. She will not think you are moving too fast.

So you have sex, then try to make plans too soon, then, when she's busy (truthfully or not) you text her again, "How about now? How about now?" Well, what you've done right there is made her re-evaluate: maybe you weren't just being a dominating, sexy man when you had sex with her that first date... maybe you ARE one of those guys that moves too fast... Too fast to sex, too fast to text, too fast to get all relationship-y.

When she gets those signals, well, she's seen that show before. So she bails.

I guess now that you mention it there were always calls/ texts exchanged after sex - not necessarily to meet up at the next convenient moment, but I always do try and get a get together the following weekend. I usually wait until thursday to try and set something up for the weekend or friday evening.

Perhaps it is time to not even touch base and make them pursue me after? Sounds Juvenile, but I don't want to seem like I am ****ing them than chucking them, but maybe thats what they like. Perhaps this is where my game needs work heh.

Thanks for the advice.

edit: to be clear, I have no problem initiating contact, attraction and the like. This post is geared towards maintaining or heightening it. Think competition anxiety as discussed on RM blog.