Need tips on online dating

[white sox bill]

Hey guys,

Am ready to give online dating a chance. I live in Smallville USA and am not inclined to post my pic. I assume there are dating sites that don't require a pic correct(although I'm sure pics greatly increase hits). That way, only interested females actually "wink" at you, right? I just don't want my fellow employees and or workmates to know.

Can anyone tell me which sites are best? Plenty of fish looks OK....How about writing my profile. Suggestions? Sorry to sound ignorant, just never did this stuff before.

 

[wayword]

Uh, no pic, no replies. Online dating works best for good-looking guys, sorry.

 

[Vulpine]

My tip:

Don't.

Seriously, it's not worth the money or time. Time? Yeah, the time to correspond, play games, then finally meet and it turns out to be all for nought.

It's more hassle than it's worth, ESPECIALLY in a small town.

Then again, if all you are looking for is a pen pal, knock yourself out.

That's just my two cents, you aren't obligated to consider a word of it.

 

[insidious]

LOL I love the bitter replies preceeding my own!

I'm not a great-looking guy, I'm not an ugly guy, and I got *some* responses, mostly from frustrated women and/or other scams from members pretending to be overseas.

You think women are flaky in real life!? Turn up the dial a few notches online! Dude, seriously, the online world brings out a nature in women which they rarely express in real life.

My chick buddy tried it and she's met guys left and right. And she isn't even close to being a knock-out, but she photographs well.

If you don't place an online photo, forget it. Or at least, forget meeting any "normal" chicks.

And if you do put a photo, don't expect many cold responses unless you are Mr. Hot Guy with Incredible Chiseled Body (in which case, why the hell are you even online to begin with). You'll have to go out and be the originator of cold responses and risk having the majority of women either 1) ignore your ass, 2) deny your ass, or 3) give you the time of day before disappearing into the internet hordes! :nervous:

I'm not bitter, but I just don't have the energy to play that online BS. Call me old-fashioned, gotta do the legwork if you really want to give yourself a fair shake.

 

[driver55]

Not worth it for your goals.

I am going to agree with Vulpine and say don't put serious effort into it. That is contradictory to what happened to me though. I fooled around with that just for fun (seriously!) and I am actually still seeing a girl who I met online. She has been showing EXTREME IL in me for the short amount of time we've known each other, and I like her OK too. But I think I just got lucky....

It isn't worth it for the flakes, freaks, etc. on there. Just meet people in real life.

Oh yes and for the record this was the 2nd girl I met online. The first was a complete mess....omg I just threw up in my mouth a little bit thinking about it....

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

My tip:

Search the forum; there's tons of threads about online dating posted by people who know what they are doing.

 

[drZaius09]

Online dating works best for good-looking guys, sorry.

Kinda like every other kind of dating...
DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!

 

[drZaius09]

No offense, but anybody who says its a "waste of time" obviously doesn't have a singular CLUE what they're doing. I've dabbled in the online scene on and off for the last year or so-- I've bagged over a dozen chicks, not one of which I would've hesitated to bang if I'd met in any other manner.

I think a lot of you guys scoff at online dating because you just dont know how to succeed at it.

First tip I will give you, no matter what site you try, is to browse as many of the MALE profiles as you can stomach (and believe me, it will be tough to stomach). Then, write a profile which is the EXACT OPPOSITE of all of them. You don't have to lie or invent, just AVOID saying the SAME things everyone else says. The way my profile was worded, you would think I was trying to repulse every girl who read it. But of course it had the adverse effect.

A few things you MUST do: 1) Post a pic. 2) Write emails. Lots and lots of emails. You should have a thick skin too-- most (over 90%) of women will never respond to you. So what. Write emails that are antagonistic-- emails that are so abrasive they almost scream, "I dare you to write me back." 3) Correspond with as many women as possible at once. I think a lot of guys make the mistake of finding one hot prospect, then abandon their efforts to hook others (kinda like in the 'offline' world). Be prepared for girls to disappear after a few promising conversations. They get hundreds of emails a month, and the BBD phenomenon is bound to rear it's ugly head. Forget them.

Finally, if you can't close the deal in person, no method of meeting women will ever yield positive results.

 

[Jackman]

Good advice from drZaius. My approach is a little different in a few ways, though. I never respond to ads placed by women. I only respond to those who write to me. I do this because I consider online dating to be a perk, not a main source for dating. I rarely decide to meet these online women because I'm selective in this environment. This whole approach depends 100% on a very good ad.

There are several reasons I only use online dating in this manner:

A) The best women to be found online aren't the ones posting the ads, so I only use sites that do not require fees to contact others (plentyoffish.com). Especially good are the ones that don't even require registration to initiate contact (craigslist.org). Although you do have hordes of messed up people on free sites, you also have a lot of normal, attractive women browsing these things while bored at work, who just might decide to respond to an ad that is unique and different enough. I've met quite a number of attractive women that travel the world by targeting this group. Cream of the crop, as they say. Follow drZaius' advice on writing a profile and you'll be on the path to reach those women specifically.

B) Much less competition. With no fees involved, you will get many more responses and more often you will communicate with women who aren't getting hundreds and hundreds of e-mails from other men, since many of these women don't have an ad of their own up. Of course, many more fat women will start responding as well, but you can just ignore those.

C) Better follow through. This kind of approach creates the situation where better women will actually take the first initiative, which is a good position for a man to be in to be in via online dating. A woman knows very well a good ad when she sees one, and she knows without a doubt other women will definitely respond to this ad. Because of this, in most cases I get plenty of pictures and phone numbers within the first few responses, often with the first e-mail they write to me. I never had to ask for either. They start to compete for me. I can set up dates much quicker this way and they always show up. Many times they have even suggested meeting if I don't do it soon enough for them.

I would also suggest being as honest as you can be about yourself, even to a fault. A little self-demeaning humor can go a long way. Many women on these sites have unreasonable prerequisites for the men they date that they otherwise might not adhere to so strongly in real life. Because of this, they will flake on you during the communication process for the most mundane of reasons. The more realistic and normal you appear, the more likely you will get responses from women with the same attributes.

Any questions about this, just ask.

 

[insidious]

I would also suggest being as honest as you can be about yourself, even to a fault. A little self-demeaning humor can go a long way. Many women on these sites have unreasonable prerequisites for the men they date that they otherwise might not adhere to so strongly in real life. Because of this, they will flake on you during the communication process for the most mundane of reasons. The more realistic and normal you appear, the more likely you will get responses from women with the same attributes.

Excellent - truer words have never been spoken Jackman!

Checked out craigslist.org - I like the vibe there, it's a keeper.

 

[drZaius09]

Damn, Jackman, you must look like HUGH Jackman to get such great results with your approach! I'm just teasing you a bit, but seriously, I don't think I'd have ever met a single girl if I weren't so prolific in writing emails. In fact, I doubt I've received more than 10 unsolicited emails in all my time online. And not surprisingly, 8 of those 10 were hideous beasts that I wouldn't respond to on a bet.

Jackman's post just goes to show you what a unique and well-written ad can do for you. Like I said above, READ OTHER GUY'S PROFILES. If you have a hard time expressing some creativity, this will help immensely by showing you what NOT to do.

 

[Latinoman]

My tip:

Search the forum; there's tons of threads about online dating posted by people who know what they are doing.

But you must admit that the chances are MINISCULE if he doesn't share a picture.

 

[white sox bill]

So after a few opinoins here and in the "real" world, really don't want to hang my hook in the online dating world. But has anyone ever thought on putting online profile under "friends only"? This might neutralize the "desperate" label the some people may hang on you. This could open other possibilities, including dating down the road, or a set up via the online friend. Anyone try this?

 

[Bible_Belt]

I read a little of the 'plenty of fish' forums, and it looks like AFC central.

 

[Vulpine]

No offense, but anybody who says its a "waste of time" obviously doesn't have a singular CLUE what they're doing. I've dabbled in the online scene on and off for the last year or so-- I've bagged over a dozen chicks, not one of which I would've hesitated to bang if I'd met in any other manner.

I think a lot of you guys scoff at online dating because you just dont know how to succeed at it.

You have a very acute understanding of online dating on the whole. On the East Coast, the population is fairly dense. There are large amounts of people in a close area, so, available women are abundant. Now, of those abundant available women, only a certain percentage is "doable". This is your experience.

Now, consider the midwest, or a rural area. The amount of people within a datable range is considerably less. Now also factor in the "hot chicks per capita". You'll find that, compared to the east, west, or south, the "hot chicks per capita" is also much lower. The end result is that there are very few hot chicks online to choose from. Of course, now you have to rule out all the pschos and freaks from those fewer hot chicks, as you would otherwise, and you'll find that there are very low numbers... 1? 2? 15? Certainly not the numbers that are available online in metropolitain areas.

Since we should all understand that dating is a numbers game, why would one waste their time in such a limited venue like rural online dating? No amount of online skills will increase the numbers of potentials, will it?

So, being from a small town in Wisconsin myself, my advice to WSB is a little more valid seeing as how I have experienced online dating with the beer, cheese, and corn fed heifers of the region. Your online dating experience with the women of Massachusetts is less relevant. I mean, with proximity to all the cities of the region, online dating there is a gold mine compared to the gravel pit that it is here.

 

[manbearpig]

Vulpine speaks very true words. I live in a rural area of Texas, and its slim pickings online. You're likely to have very few chicks from your area period, and the ones that are there probably aren't exactly what you're looking for.

 

[drZaius09]

Now, consider the midwest, or a rural area. The amount of people within a datable range is considerably less. Now also factor in the "hot chicks per capita". You'll find that, compared to the east, west, or south, the "hot chicks per capita" is also much lower. The end result is that there are very few hot chicks online to choose from. Of course, now you have to rule out all the pschos and freaks from those fewer hot chicks, as you would otherwise, and you'll find that there are very low numbers... 1? 2? 15? Certainly not the numbers that are available online in metropolitain areas.

I understand your point... BUT, you have to apply all these calculations and exceptions to the "offline" dating pool as well. The online dating world is merely a microcosm of what you will find when you go out to meet women in person. So if you dwell in an area with slim options/prospects on a webpage, your options are going to be slim in the bars/clubs/etc just the same. The only exception might be a back-water, low-tech community where the penetration of internet access is limited.

 

[white sox bill]

You have a very acute understanding of online dating on the whole. On the East Coast, the population is fairly dense. There are large amounts of people in a close area, so, available women are abundant. Now, of those abundant available women, only a certain percentage is "doable". This is your experience.

Now, consider the midwest, or a rural area. The amount of people within a datable range is considerably less. Now also factor in the "hot chicks per capita". You'll find that, compared to the east, west, or south, the "hot chicks per capita" is also much lower. The end result is that there are very few hot chicks online to choose from. Of course, now you have to rule out all the pschos and freaks from those fewer hot chicks, as you would otherwise, and you'll find that there are very low numbers... 1? 2? 15? Certainly not the numbers that are available online in metropolitain areas.

Since we should all understand that dating is a numbers game, why would one waste their time in such a limited venue like rural online dating? No amount of online skills will increase the numbers of potentials, will it?

So, being from a small town in Wisconsin myself, my advice to WSB is a little more valid seeing as how I have experienced online dating with the beer, cheese, and corn fed heifers of the region. Your online dating experience with the women of Massachusetts is less relevant. I mean, with proximity to all the cities of the region, online dating there is a gold mine compared to the gravel pit that it is here.

Vulpine I take it your from Verona WI correct? Gotta be ton of women in the Mad City Metro area..

 

[Bible_Belt]

corn fed heifers

lol, I am surrounded by those, too. The Midwest is a Garden of Paradise for the chubby chaser, but I think the rest of us have to date younger women just to avoid the heifers.

 

[Vulpine]

Vulpine I take it your from Verona WI correct? Gotta be ton of women in the Mad City Metro area..

Yes. And, yes. However, just not online.

I'll tell you guys what, if you think I'm talking out of my azz here, run a search and prove it to yourself.

The datable Madison area is encompassed by, say, 20 miles. Run a 25 mile search on your favorite online dating site for the zip code 53593. I hope you haven't eaten lunch yet. Go ahead... run your game to those broads.

One word:

"Moooooo!"