Need Theory on Why She Broke Date

[NeverFear]

Here's what happened: Met her at sports night club on a saturday night. She was alone, and we slipped into an easy conversation. I isolated her (got our own table) and got into some easygoing but fairly in depth conversation.

She wants to dance, and I tell her I'm awful. I go anyways (shows "i dont give a guck attitude") and i have fun out there anyways. She's bumping into me and when we get back to the table, she's giving me kino. I act like I'm the alpha male, make her laugh, and act like the kinos' no big deal.

In general, I come across as intelligent, funny, and masculine. Grab the digits at nights end (I never attempt to prolong first meetings for any reason) call her four days later. Make her laugh. Schedule a lunch. To be truthful, i DID spend forty five minutes with her on the phone that day making her laugh, but in truth, the sportsclub was so noisy it was difficult getting to know her that well).

She calls me two hours before the lunch and says (exact words) I cant go to lunch with you because my sister just called from work and needs a ride home...i'll call you over the weekend).

I stay calm, tell her no problem, and NEXT her by deleting her phone number out of my auto dial. I never hear from her again.

Got any opinions on what spooked her? Not that its any big deal. Women act in all kinds of strange ways, but I can tell you her interest level was HIGH before and dropped off between the phone call and the date day.

 

[ligyron]

You sound like a social robot

You act like an alpha male, make her laugh, and act like kino isn't a big deal? You also make her laugh. You (think) you come across as intelligent, funny, and masculine. Oh, and did I mention you make her laugh?

Maybe you're "coming across" as a social robotic clown and you've creeped her out. This is what happens when you focus primarily on your outter game when your inner game obviously needs some work. Why are you putting on an act? Wouldn't you be much happier at the end of the day if you knew you were just being yourself?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Two things come to mind. This girl is spinning plates, as you should be. One of her better options is ahead of you on her priority list. Two, you may have killed a lot of the intrigue by staying on the phone with her for so long considering you had a date scheduled for shortly there after. In essence you may have shown your hand a bit too prematurely.

However, it shouldn't be any of your concern anymore. Your job is not to figure out why she didn't call or why she canceled a date; your job is to figure out what caused those reactions in the first place.




PIMP

 

[J-Bone]

ten minutes for my first call and no more. but i dont think thats it i think ligyron may be on to the problem and what it fold down to is that you are trying to hard. so you say no im not then ill bet its trying too hard not to try hard and that is about what being a social robot is. just relax man its ONE girl and its no big deal maybe somehow she wasn't able to find value in you. alot of girls from clubs don't end up talking to you that much after one night unless you wake up naked with them, in many cases anyways. i have seen number closes from clubs/bars end up in good relationships but not very often. move on and don't worry so much

 

[Microphone Fiend]

the 'why' doesnt matter unless you did something wrong. She flakes, you move on. It could just be cause her bf called her the day before, or that her sis got knocked up or w/e. It is not in your place to find out why in these matters

 

[DJ1234]

She calls me two hours before the lunch and says (exact words) I cant go to lunch with you because my sister just called from work and needs a ride home...i'll call you over the weekend).

I stay calm, tell her no problem, and NEXT her by deleting her phone number out of my auto dial. I never hear from her again.

atleast she did say she was going to call you (a possible counter offer, but not likely she's going to call you as girls tend to forget), if the interest was there I wouldn't have been so quick to next her...but you say you never heard from her again... I suppose she could be spinning plates or she just isn't as interested...

 

[NeverFear]

thanks

thanks guy, excellent, excellent advice. You guys have a lot of this figured out, as I think I do too. As far as:

"Two things come to mind. This girl is spinning plates, as you should be. One of her better options is ahead of you on her priority list. Two, you may have killed a lot of the intrigue by staying on the phone with her for so long considering you had a date scheduled for shortly there after. In essence you may have shown your hand a bit too prematurely. "

.....the whole thing is interest level. We all know that. As far as "killing it" sometimes that's not a bad thing at all. What I "showed" her in person on the phone was WHO I am. Sometimes its funny, sometimes deep. Why pretend to be something I'm not?

...also, i admit i feel free to break Doc's rules from time to time. If I have an intelligent conversation on the PHONE and it creeps them out, then i dont have any interest in THEM. So if intelligence and depth scares em off, then I found out ahead of time. That's why i sometimes break the phone rule. Why go out with a girl AT ALL if she doesnt pass MY TESTS?

....same deal with killing the intrigue. If the "intrigue" is that im some kind of neanderthal bad boy it aint gonna work anyway.

......as far as "nexting" her, there's really no choice when she breaks a date. Now if she calls you back, apologizes, and tries to re schedule, thats another matter. But there has to be a consequence when she breaks a date. Either she reschedules it, or you next her.

 

[Ratisson]

Why did she break the date? It's called LOW INTEREST LEVEL.

i dont care how many IOIs she showed u in ur first encounter. Her showing up for the date is one of the true indicators of her interest in you.

She broke the date, Therefore, Low Interest Level. Period.

 

[iqqi]

Maybe she's just not that into you.
http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/068987474X

hahahahahhahahaa. sorry i couldn't resist. :crackup:

 

[tony-montana]

you know girls can cancel a date just like that. walk out of a room just like that when something comes up. forget about you just like that... you know why? cause they don't have to think "omg what if i never see him again?" they can just grab another guy next week with no problems. they can always get a man. it's like throwing money away and being rich. you don't care that it's gone cause you got plenty more in your wallet.

 

[xdreamz]

there is no theory to why people flake. it is an order of life. nothing is ever definite, deleting her number was honestly a bad move. if you want her you could have her you just have to be more persistant

 

[Pimp-sicle]

...also, i admit i feel free to break Doc's rules from time to time. If I have an intelligent conversation on the PHONE and it creeps them out, then i dont have any interest in THEM. So if intelligence and depth scares em off, then I found out ahead of time. That's why i sometimes break the phone rule. Why go out with a girl AT ALL if she doesnt pass MY TESTS?

First off I don't believe in any hard set rules for my interactions with women. If your a great conversationalist, there's nothing wrong with staying on the phone for a longer period of time. However, you missed my point; if you have a date scheduled for later on in the day, DO NOT stay on the phone with a woman for 45 minutes. It gives the girl the impression that your too into her, too soon. But the bottom line was/is, this girl's interest level never was that high in you to begin with, move on.



PIMP

 

[Frenchconnection]

NeverFear you really F*** up on this one!!!

LoL just kidding man. Actually I think you did everything right, forget the time limit on the first call. Hey if you like talking to a girl then there should not be any rules stoping you from doing what you enjoy.

But I'm there with you on not understanding flakers. I have had that type of situation happen to me many times. At least one chick had the decency to explain herself. While the rest were just dumb cowards.

I would say in your situation that it's definitely not you. Who knows what reasons she had.
YOu did the right thing by deleting her #. It helps with moving on even though I'm sure a little part of you wish she called back. Heck I've wished that many times.

Just keep doing what you're doing and then the right girl will "deserve" to hang out with you.

 

[Mazeman11]

The answer is that there is no answer. And if there is one, it doesn't matter and you shouldn't care.

I've been in that situation more times than I would like to remember. You acted like a normal intelligent person. Rules are for fools when it comes to dating. If these rules did really make a difference, wouldn't you think everybody and their dog would be hooked up right now?

The biggest mistake people make is when they try to fit in a particular mold. Notice how most responses here are focusing on stupid little things that the mature intellectual mind refuses to fathom.

You could be king **** and women will still flake on you. There are many reasons why they do it. Most of the reasons are below you and you have no control over them.

Just find a girl that will not flake on you and do your thing. Many times I've been with women who seemed VERY interested but at the end of the day, didn't want anything to do with me! LOL...ahh just scr*w em and just move on.

 

[tony-montana]

maybe she met another guy during those four days. don't forget girls have many guys calling/harassing them and what not.

 

[Mazeman11]

Do women really meet that many guys within a few days where they have to start going on a flaking frenzy?

 

[ketostix]

You should've took her home that first night from the club. It seemed pretty clear she would've left the club with you that night.