Need Strong Advises !!!

[tito]

I need advise.

Ok let me explain to you, first I would like to excuse for my orthographe.I live in Montreal and I am a big fan of askmen.com. My first language his french,but anyway lets get to the point.

Ive been going out with this girl for almost 2 years, shes actually 20 years old. I am 24...
Lets moove back in time 6 weeks ago . BAM !!! " I need my space and I am tired two think for 2 " "Yes I see myself beside you in future but now I need to mature up a little bit"

I know it looks really bad when you analize those sentences, and I was pretty much affected by it.So I had hard time to deal with it personnallly, but I did not bother her, the message was clear. I did not ask for reasons too much cause I did not want to put extra pressure if there his still chance that things will come back.
I dont believe in miracle, but I do believe in reality , and reality tell me that I had to back OFF and STOP putting
pressure in any way.

I decide to rise up and make some plan for myself. I did apply for University and I am currently working 40 hours
weeks with a pretty decent salary. (42k/ year) After 2 weeks with almost no contact, I wrote her a letter : " I accept what
is happening and I do not blame you for nothing." "I see now that we were getting too serious and I enjoy my space "

And then, she immediately wrote me the same night, on MSN ---> " I guess I should be happy to read those words"
So its started that way ---> Same night we were talking on the phone, and the next morning she did call me...

But nothing relevant was says, nothing like I regret, nothing like I made a mistake and stuff like that, and really I dont
expect that from her cause she still has some pride , you know !!! And I wont ask her cause I still have my pride...
I was more like fun chat, small chat and It went like this for about 2 weeks. I got to tell you that I was calling her to but stick
to the no pressure rule : " No complain, No blaming, No Whining, Act Happy, Tell her Im happy to talk to her "

So last week , I was talking to her on the phone , and she say : " I really enjoy the last few week and the FLOW was really
good." She felt the positive VIBE that I was bringing. I made her laugh alot and she did the same.
And then I decided to ask her out for a coffey. I say: " Im going to pick you up right after work so we can follow up with this good FLOW" I ment this his all good, but why not doing this fun talk face-to-face.

So we went for a coffey and she was all over me , I mean she was given compliments about everything. " Youre so nice tonigh"
" I cant imagine your looking at other woman like you look at me" " The way you are dress his really a turn on" " I like your hair". And for me it was like too much, but also she was touching alot. So the Vibe was very good and I did not ask for nothing, nothing like did you think aout the relationship, do you know were youre going now, NOTHING , NO PRESSURE !!!!

So when I brought her back home , she look at me : " Can I give you a hug at least" and I said : " For sure you can give me a hug " It was a very sweet moment and it was also funny. I really had fun that night and I did make sure to let her know via e-mail, but I also remind her that I do not expect nothing from this and that I am happy with my life the way it is as we speak... Even if its not totally true.

So we talk again this past weekend and I follow up with the GOOD VIBE theory. And then on thuesday I decide to make a moove. I wake up, full of good intentions, very positive, and choose to surprise her at her Tae-Boxe course. I had a good alibi to be there just in case she was going to reject me with a cold welcome or something. But what a surprise, she was so happy to see me there and she was just like the night when we went out for a coffey. She was all over me and she was given me all kind of compliments. Also her body language was very positive and I was very slick.

We had not more than 5-10 minutes and then she had to go for her Tae-Boxe training. I was about to leave when I ask her in a funny way : " Do you know if we have rights to kiss here or its still like College St-Louis". Because I got to tell you that we went to the same College (High school) and they were very strick with this rule out there... She laughs a little and then I give her a very nice smooch kiss !!!

That was on thuesday, and she had to leave on wednesday for work purpose. This was already schedule like 1 month in advanced She will be back on Sunday...

So now, I know that I CHOOSE to be patient and try to create a good vibe. I did so BECAUSE I LOVE her. I ACCEPT my choice and I know that if every actions his strongs, I will succeed. From now on, I NEED to do strong actions. I now, need advise.
I also know that srong ACTIONS can be something like " Do not call her " but Im not sure anymore, Because the VIBE look good, but also, she did not come out strong about her feelings. She was just reactive to what happend. She let her feeling goes only when I am in front of her. she does not call me and say, Hi ! I miss you !!!

I really do care for her and I really prefer that this relationship work for the best...
My biggest wish his to see things clear, I want to see reality and I need help from you...
I am scared , but I am courageous...
I Love her, but I wont keep banging my head much longer...

Thanks in advanced !

 

[echo1212]

I would say keep doing what your doing..but don't wait forever to get serious with her again if thats what you really want. She just may get sick of waiting......Good women are hard to come by.

 

[tito]

I believe cause I choose too
But I still want your advises guys

Thanks in advanced !!!

 

[sux2bu]

Originally posted by tito
I need advise.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=advice

 

[Walden]

ƒuck ten other women.

 

[tito]

Thanks for nothing !
I want to have some guide line but nothing relevant
was outpoint.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

Originally posted by tito

Ive been going out with this girl for almost 2 years, shes actually 20 years old. I am 24...
Lets moove back in time 6 weeks ago . BAM !!! " I need my space and I am tired two think for 2 " "Yes I see myself beside you in future but now I need to mature up a little bit"

You've must have been hogging like a puppy or someone else was being considered.

I know it looks really bad when you analize those sentences, and I was pretty much affected by it.So I had hard time to deal with it personnallly, but I did not bother her, the message was clear. I did not ask for reasons too much cause I did not want to put extra pressure if there his still chance that things will come back.
I dont believe in miracle, but I do believe in reality , and reality tell me that I had to back OFF and STOP putting
pressure in any way

Way to go, homie! Always look at from a reality standpoint.

I decide to rise up and make some plan for myself. I did apply for University and I am currently working 40 hours
weeks with a pretty decent salary. (42k/ year) After 2 weeks with almost no contact, I wrote her a letter : " I accept what
is happening and I do not blame you for nothing." "I see now that we were getting too serious and I enjoy my space "

That's real good you started to doing things for yourself. Did you tell her about you making the 42k a year? If so, be careful.

But nothing relevant was says, nothing like I regret, nothing like I made a mistake and stuff like that, and really I dont
expect that from her cause she still has some pride , you know !!! And I wont ask her cause I still have my pride...
I was more like fun chat, small chat and It went like this for about 2 weeks. I got to tell you that I was calling her to but stick
to the no pressure rule : " No complain, No blaming, No Whining, Act Happy, Tell her Im happy to talk to her "

It cool to talk to her but not everyday. You want her to long for the stimulating converstations.

So we went for a coffey and she was all over me , I mean she was given compliments about everything. " Youre so nice tonigh"
" I cant imagine your looking at other woman like you look at me" " The way you are dress his really a turn on" " I like your hair". And for me it was like too much, but also she was touching alot. So the Vibe was very good and I did not ask for nothing, nothing like did you think aout the relationship, do you know were youre going now, NOTHING , NO PRESSURE !!!!

With having a life now, she wants to be part of that. But she did stated that she needed some space and basically DUMP you. I'm not going to tell you what to do but you have to take that into consideration and how bad she made you feel when she told you that. Now I'm not assisting that you hold a grudge, but she did DUMP you so keep that in mind so that you won't get caught up.

So when I brought her back home , she look at me : " Can I give you a hug at least" and I said : " For sure you can give me a hug " It was a very sweet moment and it was also funny. I really had fun that night and I did make sure to let her know via e-mail, but I also remind her that I do not expect nothing from this and that I am happy with my life the way it is as we speak... Even if its not totally true.

You don't have to keep reminding her that you don't expect anything of out it. Just show her and let her guess if she has a chance to get back with you or not.

So we talk again this past weekend and I follow up with the GOOD VIBE theory. And then on thuesday I decide to make a moove. I wake up, full of good intentions, very positive, and choose to surprise her at her Tae-Boxe course. I had a good alibi to be there just in case she was going to reject me with a cold welcome or something. But what a surprise, she was so happy to see me there and she was just like the night when we went out for a coffey. She was all over me and she was given me all kind of compliments. Also her body language was very positive and I was very slick.

You getting caught up again, my friend. Some women consider that "stalking potential".

So now, I know that I CHOOSE to be patient and try to create a good vibe. I did so BECAUSE I LOVE her. I ACCEPT my choice and I know that if every actions his strongs, I will succeed. From now on, I NEED to do strong actions. I now, need advise.
I also know that srong ACTIONS can be something like " Do not call her " but Im not sure anymore, Because the VIBE look good, but also, she did not come out strong about her feelings. She was just reactive to what happend. She let her feeling goes only when I am in front of her. she does not call me and say, Hi ! I miss you !!!

STOP SAYING YOU LOVE UNTIL SHE PROVES THAT SHE IS WORTH IT! You're asking for trouble being "in love" with a female who told you that she needed her space. Now that she showing some "interest?" you're thinking that it's love. Quit playing.

I really do care for her and I really prefer that this relationship work for the best...
My biggest wish his to see things clear, I want to see reality and I need help from you...
I am scared , but I am courageous...
I Love her, but I wont keep banging my head much longer...

Thanks in advanced !

Take your time my friend and date others also. You need to show her that it won't be easy getting you back. But it seem to me that she wanted your friendship more than to have a relationship with you. That's just my opinion. Just do your thing and not concentrate on this female so much. Alright.

Peace

 

[tito]

Tough to swallow but I hear you !

Yes I am hanging around with other womens, I go out with my buddies and stuff, thats not a problem.

Quote Pooky : " But one thing is clear, confidence is not our actions. Confidence is our own world, our own reality. "

And Im working on my own world now, in all kinds of ways. And I know that she perceive it, even if I AM doing this for ME fisrt. And when I look at reality , she shows signs that she wants to be part of that.

Only time will tell if she want to be part of it as a friend or as someone romantically involve.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

Originally posted by tito
Tough to swallow but I hear you !

Yes I am hanging around with other womens, I go out with my buddies and stuff, thats not a problem.

Quote Pooky : " But one thing is clear, confidence is not our actions. Confidence is our own world, our own reality. "

And Im working on my own world now, in all kinds of ways. And I know that she perceive it, even if I AM doing this for ME fisrt. And when I look at reality , she shows signs that she wants to be part of that.

Only time will tell if she want to be part of it as a friend or as someone romantically involve.

I agree!

Peace.

 

[AMF]

Eyecandie4ya, great advice. The forum needs more people like you who actually seem to care, and less people like....

sux2bu, the end of this post is for you:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=41458

Thankyou for illustrating my point so well. Tito said right off the bat that he was french, and didnt speak good english. He wanted some genuine advice, not thoughtless criticism. Your "reply" was a waste of everybody's time.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

Originally posted by AMF
Eyecandie4ya, great advice. The forum needs more people like you who actually seem to care, and less people like....

sux2bu, the end of this post is for you:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=41458

Thankyou for illustrating my point so well. Tito said right off the bat that he was french, and didnt speak good english. He wanted some genuine advice, not thoughtless criticism. Your "reply" was a waste of everybody's time.

No problem, appreciate the compliment.

This forum is not like it was before with all the other cats who actually gave concrete advice. It's cool to joke at times but some of the guys really need assistance with this in their life and are only looking for answers not criticism(unless it's constuctive).
But you're going to get the good with the bad, U know.

Peace

 

[tito]

Thanks Eyecandie4ya & AMF !!!

You know what , i did even bother about his comments, I do not blame him. He must have his good reasons to think like this.

I speak spanish english and french, I have an open-mind and I am ready to listen to great advise. Thats it !

 

[tito]

NEW UPDATES :

Yesteday we went for breakfeast and for shopping. The day was perfect and it was a blessing. I enjoy it so much and I know that she was very please with things going that way...

So I suggest to go see a movie or something and she reply that she would like to do something esle, something relax. Ok lets get to my house and were going to chill out there...

We made love for 2 hours ,with alot of passion. The moment was perfect. After we went for supper at her house and we drank a bottle of wine. She was all over me and she was touching and hugging and stuff...

During the night, she started to talk about her insecurities. She brought me on a subject that I didnt want to talk about. She was telling me that she hate about thinking that I can sleep with other woman, and that this possibility drive her crazy. So I say wait a minutes, " If you want to ask me a question, do turn around, ask it straight and foward " ...
So I ask her : " Did you sleep with another guy in between "
She reply : " Yes I had an aventure with someone"...

------------------
I took my stuff and I left her ouse pretty fast... after that beautiful day, after all those message she was trying to communicate, that the grass his not greener elsewere, that she realize what she HAD LOST, that she regret so much...

NOW I DONT WANT TO PUT MORE EFFORT IN THERE, I DONT WANT TO BE FOOL AGAIN, I DONT WANT TO BE NICE WITH HER.

I AM HURT, I AM MAD , BUT I STILL LOVE HER ...

 

[jwhite17]

Tito,
Good for you to not put up with any disrespect from a female. Leaving her was the best decision. A true DJ gets what he wants and moves on if he doesn't.

NOW I DONT WANT TO PUT MORE EFFORT IN THERE, I DONT WANT TO BE FOOL AGAIN, I DONT WANT TO BE NICE WITH HER.

This is why you should date around and meet other girls, and you will see how NORMAL your ex GF. After doing this for awhile, if you still want to get in a LTR, then you will be able to pick and choose the girl you want and not the other way around.

I AM HURT, I AM MAD , BUT I STILL LOVE HER ...

Perfectly normal because you were in with her for two years, but you will get over it and realize that you deserve better and will get it someday. Also, "love" is not a word that should be tossed around.

My question for you: did she say "I love you" first or did you? I believe you shouldn't say I love you until she says it first because she means it. Think about it, if you said I love you first, she would respond with "I love you too" as a natural response because she wouldn't want to hurt your feelings.

Anyways, good luck to you and I know you will find a better women out their because there is a limitless supply of them.

JW

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

when she told u she needed space she was already with the other dude - trust me on that - to all of a sudden fall back in love (lust) with you after it didnt work out with the other guy is because she got disrespected by him - i.e he screwed her and left her - maybe even slapped her. So she now longs for the decent respect u showed her and r showing her.

Do not go back to this wh@re after she got banged from another dude his sperm was probably still in her when u called her. she does not respect u and if u go back to her she definitely will not respect u - dont be a chump - y would u love a woman that does this? u got serious self-esteem issues - u have a mental or emotional problem - the greatest disrespect a woman can do to a mans ego iand heart is to screw another man and tell him so.

If u take her back and she does it again dont say u were shocked and dont slice her throat with a knife - u r in lust and obviously not in love if u truly r in love with this wh@re - then you don't know what love is! Have pride have honor have decency have self-respect - cause u obviously dont have her heart! Save yourself! Run! Just have a good cry and it will b ok - if u r that kind of guy.

PS. Ffor future reference when a girl says she wants to mature or experience life more she is saying i want to have sex with other guys before i get married then if none treat me better than you then i will come back to you - what did she call it an "adventure" - her sex adventures were pre-meditated and calculated. maybe they had small penises and she longed for what she once had (pun intended) . Yes it was more than one guy - but she wont tell u cause u might think she is the slut that she really is - one guy is just more palatable.

 

[NewMan]

Tito,

I can understand your pain....

But wait a second.

I will say this first as a warning.

Guys, in general, will put way to much emphasis on what women SAY to them - and think they have a better chance or are in a better position with the woman than they really are. So be careful.

I took my stuff and I left her ouse pretty fast... after that beautiful day, after all those message she was trying to communicate, that the grass his not greener elsewere, that she realize what she HAD LOST, that she regret so much...

Dude, she DUMPED you. You were broken up - so why couldn't she fvck someone else? She wasn't with you - so you've got to deal with the realities. Either you were not being enough man for her, or she meet someone else who she was interested in.

So how old are you both?

The problme here is the fact that she dumped you - you played things very well, BUT, you should have gone out and fvcked as many girls as you could get your hands on.

The, when you asked the question

"Did you sleep with anyone else"
and she said
"Yes I had and adventure" etc....

You would then say:

"Great, I feel much better, because I fvcked 6 girls, and boy were they good"



Something else to think about:

So I ask her : " Did you sleep with another guy in between "

Don't ask questions if your not man enough to handle the answers.

If you can't deal with it, don't ask.

You've now got to ask yourself a question:

Do you love her?

Because, let me tell you, at least she is honest with you. She told you the truth - which is what you wanted.

If you can't handle it, don't get back with her -= NEXT and move on.

This is a valuable lesson to all guys that get dumped. She's going to fvck around.