Need some tips on approaching

[antidonjuan]

I know this girl in my science class who is a 9.5 (extremly pretty) and I am the kind of guy in class who makes jokes to get everyone else laughing and she seems quite to be welcome to me.

She lives beside my appartment and I often see her walking home (same path) and I never approached her because i was afraid.

After all these readings about the art of approaching, I finally took my chance and I talked to her about school stuff and courses and stuff.

The problem is: I have so much knowledge on how to talk to girls who are pretty (text reading) and when I apply it to real life situations, I just freeze up and make awkward pauses when talking to her. She smiles at me at the conversation but I'm sure she noticed my inexperience of conversation.

She is a really shy, pretty girl who gets approached by very few guys (very popular boy in my high school) and I am pretty sure she has no boyfriend.

I'm pretty sure I'll see her again in class or walking home, any advice how to step it up?

 

[antidonjuan]

haha, major stepping stone for me overcoming the fear of approaching but i had to say that my conversation with this girl is a failure, i completely forgot the tactics talking to her because i was just on that spot.

I seem to forget everything about the tactics of approaching pretty girls because of my nervousness. I need some tips on overcoming this inner fear

 

[ecilop]

it seems like you're possibly over analyzing when you are conversing with her so you freeze up when you can't think of the "perfect thing" to say next. instead, use the principle of letting her talk her heart out and you just build on what she says. take up hints in her conversations and make topics out of those.
it's kind of hard to explain but there are a few really good topics on this, try to find them

 

[duffman360]

have u tried using the blank mind approach

 

[antidonjuan]

it just comes with experience... after talking to a lot of girls you get more comfortable. also comes from the realization that they are no threat to you and that no matter how the interaction goes, you'll be the same person aftewards.

and for gods sake change your fvcking name, and stop ignoring people who tell you to do so

I have so many ppl telling me to change my name, I have asked for how to change my name and someone said it's not possible to change my name. Is there a way?

 

[splinterkb]

We got off on the wrong foot (and I apologize for attacking you.. I have been very stressed lately.) You should try asking her if she wants to walk home with you some time.. I'm sure she would love someone to talk to instead of just walking alone. As for the conversation part.. the best way to keep a conversation with a girl going is to ask questions.. they love talking about themselves. Don't try to get too in-depth with anything.. just keep it simple. Also.. I would hold off on the ****y/funny stuff.. that doesn't really apply to shy girls. When you are talking to her.. don't try to recite stuff you've learned.. just keep it genuine. It will help you appear more natural and confident. Just pretend like you've talked to her a million times before. Maybe find out what some of her interests are and hopefully atleast one is the same as yours, and go from there. Hope that helped.

 

[ExcelNPrevail]

Just do it. If you fail then f*** it. Its seriously that easy once you do it one time. Today I got shot down twice (cold approach) and on the third try I got digits. Just know your going to fail on some occasions wheather you like it or not, but know that your choices are half chanced...and so are everybody elses.

If you freeze up just say to yourself, "A man is made up of his actions." Are you gonna take action?

 

[ARrocket]

I disagree....I don't think you should completely give up the C&F, but you SHOULD tone it down considerably. Avoid being C&F about her as much as possible, but make funny jokes about you being super smart or something...and that she obviously thinks your charming, etc. Make sense?

 

[antidonjuan]

to a shy girl like her tone in down? but if i make funny jokes and she doesn't laugh, it would be weird, should i ask her questions about herself?

 

[Groovy]

"Hey i'm interrested in this girl. I'll do all of the stuff that I learned here to impress her, i'll make some jokes, so she will like me, i have to be perfect, no errors, ohhh the pressure, i'll go there now anyway, hopefully she will like me if i do everything right."

^ Wrong.

"Hey i know this girl. I'm going to come over, maybe she will be interresting enough for me, i'll find out by starting a conversation about how our days were in a friendly basis. She is possibly interresting and I'll find it out now." (Makes for some fun stuff, too!)
^ Right!

This first mindset is making you nervous. It makes you hesitate. No further explination necessary, think about it!

The second mindset is about talking about regular stuff to tell if she is good for you. It doesn't let your interrest in her to freeze you. It doesn't put pressure on you, and it makes the convo more natural and interresting... for you at least!

This is just to tell you one thing: That your inner game is kind of messed up... Get another one!

If you think the second way, even if you feel slightly nervous, your brain will just should "GO!" and it will flow naturally! Really, it's awsome!

So forget these techniques. You are going there and your brain is only focusing on this. It should be secondary. You should do it sort of without thinking much about it.

How is my advice to help you think this way?

MENTALLY PREPARE YOURSELF. Close your eyes and imagine. Imagine a copule of conversations. And interact. Next time, you will have a clue. You wont even need a "guide"... Try it, it helped me.