"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Need some serious advice.

r4zorsharp

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I'm in my late 20's and while I've gotten some attention from women, I never really managed to keep them in my life. I was always pretty bad in relationships, as I didn't know what to do early on and would rather hang with my boys than my girl. As I got older, I started learning more about women and been on plenty of dates, but I've had issues with performance anxiety and erection quality due to watching porn and masturbating for so many years. The funny thing about all of this is that I always had a huge ego with women, and thought I was the sh*t because of the attention I got when I was younger, such as having lots of girls number, and lots of girls to hang with, though I was not having sex with them... I would make out with them and sometimes get head or just like the fact they liked me alot, but ultimately did not care because I was all about chasing gratification and "being cool".

In the past 3-4 years my ego has been slowly dissolved, and in the past 6-7 years I had started changing a lot as a person. I was no longer the confident, badass that i thought I was when I was younger. A lot of my super masculine alpha male qualities that got me chicks back then had changed.. Mostly due to some difficult times and I guess my testosterone levels going down.

Nowadays, I get some attention from women, but nothing significant. I can definitely get a date or two , but I get so anxious about having sex with them that I start to freak out and think things like: "damn if i dont have sex with her soon, someone else will" or "what if i perform bad, what if she doesn't want to hang out " .. because they will engage me in sexual conversations and i'll entertain it but its like my anxiety takes over and I don't know what to do or say because im thinking about it like its a difficult interview or something. I guess i'm not 100% about my body and stuff too.. i have like stretch marks on my ass, hairy legs and hairy ass, my overall physique is alright but i have a bit of a gut. I think the biggest thing is that i dont have much experience, and i do have a few times where i could not get it up and while i think that i was over that, i still have anxiety to try again.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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SW15

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Make sure you are not watching porn and mbating for your test levels and your erection quality. That'll help in real life sexual situations.

Eat a clean diet and exercise all the time.
 

RickTheToad

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I'm in my late 20's and while I've gotten some attention from women, I never really managed to keep them in my life. I was always pretty bad in relationships, as I didn't know what to do early on and would rather hang with my boys than my girl. As I got older, I started learning more about women and been on plenty of dates, but I've had issues with performance anxiety and erection quality due to watching porn and masturbating for so many years. The funny thing about all of this is that I always had a huge ego with women, and thought I was the sh*t because of the attention I got when I was younger, such as having lots of girls number, and lots of girls to hang with, though I was not having sex with them... I would make out with them and sometimes get head or just like the fact they liked me alot, but ultimately did not care because I was all about chasing gratification and "being cool".

In the past 3-4 years my ego has been slowly dissolved, and in the past 6-7 years I had started changing a lot as a person. I was no longer the confident, badass that i thought I was when I was younger. A lot of my super masculine alpha male qualities that got me chicks back then had changed.. Mostly due to some difficult times and I guess my testosterone levels going down.

Nowadays, I get some attention from women, but nothing significant. I can definitely get a date or two , but I get so anxious about having sex with them that I start to freak out and think things like: "damn if i dont have sex with her soon, someone else will" or "what if i perform bad, what if she doesn't want to hang out " .. because they will engage me in sexual conversations and i'll entertain it but its like my anxiety takes over and I don't know what to do or say because im thinking about it like its a difficult interview or something. I guess i'm not 100% about my body and stuff too.. i have like stretch marks on my ass, hairy legs and hairy ass, my overall physique is alright but i have a bit of a gut. I think the biggest thing is that i dont have much experience, and i do have a few times where i could not get it up and while i think that i was over that, i still have anxiety to try again.
You have self esteem issues dude. The question is why? The bigger question is... What are you doing to make yourself better FOR YOU? You need to DO THE WORK and set goals for yourself. A person cannot excel in life unless they are continuously being the best they can be for, you guessed it, THEMSELVES. You need to get to work and figure out how to set goals for yourself and achieve it.
 

Joseph Rajan Aind

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I'm in my late 20's and while I've gotten some attention from women, I never really managed to keep them in my life. I was always pretty bad in relationships, as I didn't know what to do early on and would rather hang with my boys than my girl. As I got older, I started learning more about women and been on plenty of dates, but I've had issues with performance anxiety and erection quality due to watching porn and masturbating for so many years. The funny thing about all of this is that I always had a huge ego with women, and thought I was the sh*t because of the attention I got when I was younger, such as having lots of girls number, and lots of girls to hang with, though I was not having sex with them... I would make out with them and sometimes get head or just like the fact they liked me alot, but ultimately did not care because I was all about chasing gratification and "being cool".

In the past 3-4 years my ego has been slowly dissolved, and in the past 6-7 years I had started changing a lot as a person. I was no longer the confident, badass that i thought I was when I was younger. A lot of my super masculine alpha male qualities that got me chicks back then had changed.. Mostly due to some difficult times and I guess my testosterone levels going down.

Nowadays, I get some attention from women, but nothing significant. I can definitely get a date or two , but I get so anxious about having sex with them that I start to freak out and think things like: "damn if i dont have sex with her soon, someone else will" or "what if i perform bad, what if she doesn't want to hang out " .. because they will engage me in sexual conversations and i'll entertain it but its like my anxiety takes over and I don't know what to do or say because im thinking about it like its a difficult interview or something. I guess i'm not 100% about my body and stuff too.. i have like stretch marks on my ass, hairy legs and hairy ass, my overall physique is alright but i have a bit of a gut. I think the biggest thing is that i dont have much experience, and i do have a few times where i could not get it up and while i think that i was over that, i still have anxiety to try again.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
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I had problems like that with specific women that I really liked. I found myself a nice quack doctor who gave me a prescription for the diamond shaped blue pills (you know which ones I'm talking about). It didn't completely eliminate the problem, but I had more success than failures.
 

TonyTenner

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Ya As RickTheToad said, you're not doing the work. There's no way around it, you have to do it. I could have gone down the road you're heading down, but I made some changes. I recommend:

- work out, hard, at least 4 times a week
- masturbate at most once per week
- intermittent fasting - eat in an 8 hour window and your gut will be gone in 2 weeks
- get a prescription for cialis - use in ever decreasing doses as your performance anxiety reduces

The above, with a bit more of a IDGAF attitude on dates and you're good to go.
 

r4zorsharp

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Thanks everyone for the great suggestions. I have been on NoFap before but i end up relapsing every once in a while. I'm going to try again till the end of the year. I've been working out and stuff, trying my best to diet down.. My physique isn't horrible by any means but i do want to lose the excess body fat. I think for me to really become comfortable and confident, I just need to keep working on myself until my phyisque is where I want it to be and find the right girl to practice with.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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