Need some serious advice/opinions*

[DevanE]

First off this situation that I need advice on is for my friend who I care for a lot. I am MAKING this particular topic for HIM and will eventually direct him here once I get the ball rolling so he can read and get it in his head how serious his situation is.

My good friend that I have known for a while recently met a 37 year old woman online through a website. He is 22 years of age. They started dating/talking and eventually started banging. He found out yesterday that she MIGHT be pregnant. I asked him if he used protection and he said no because
"...it felt sooo good..!!!". I asked him did he bust a nut inside her and he agreed. I asked him if she took the test in front of him and he agreed that she did. I asked him what she does/career and he tells me...that...she is a DJ for some club. :nervous:

I tried to explain to him that her lifestyle is something that he should consider and get her to take a paternity test. Slowly but surely I'm learning more things about her and her finances which gives me an indication that the way it's going...her finances/debts will eventually become his and I don't want that to happen. He told me today that she agreed to take a paternity test but she doesn't have health insurance (which I don't know too much about) and she is saying that they should get married. I am telling him that no way in hell I would marry a woman like that most of all I wouldn't even get involved with a woman like that. I suggested the morning after pill or maybe abortion but that is something he needs to decide as to what he sees fit because he can't keep lounging around. He needs to start taking action.

I asked him whether he told his parents or not (since he lives with them) and according to what he told me they don't believe in sex before marriage and he will potentially get kicked out once they find out BUT it depends on how they react but anything is possible. So guys what needs to be done...? How can I help him and get it through his head that this is no joke...? Any words of wisdom for him because I will eventually send a link to this to him. I don't know why but I have NEVER in my life been so scared for someone else's well-being because this all seems so sinister so contrived...a setup.

 

[Phyzzle]

It sounds like he's willing to listen to suspicions. Prenatal paternity tests are about 400 bucks. If he doesn't trust mail order stuff, send in some of his DNA and some of yours on separate packages, just to make sure. It could be costly, though.

As a 22 year old who lives with his parents, he may not have so much money, which is why I think this woman didn't contrive anything: she's just an idiot.

He can wait for the child to be born, and do the $80 version. Tell him not to go to the hospital with her in labor, and don't be pressured into signing anything "for the good of the child."

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Abortion. Sorry to be so callous about it.

 

[Warrior74]

He needs to man up, tell her he doesn't want a child and he's not looking to get married. She will probably go ballistic. He should expect that. Then he going to have to go legal on that ass. He must insist on a DNA test. He must NOT sign the birth certificate as the father. He has to grow a backbone and deal with this straight on. He made his bed.

Send him a link to this thread.

 

[JFun]

As a 22 year old who lives with his parents, he may not have so much money, which is why I think this woman didn't contrive anything: she's just an idiot.

I agree, I don't think this is any kind of entrapment or the sorts. I don't think a 37 year old woman is looking to lure a 22 year old as a daddy, unless he's a trust fund baby.

I have to say though, BOTH of them are idiots. :cuss: No condoms? Wtf...

Definitely no on the marriage. If he can't be responsible enough to use a condom, how in the world is he going to be responsible enough for a marriage? He's too young, anyway.

He should discuss with her what he wants (abortion, adoption, etc) but in the end that's her decision to make.

Definitely get that paternity test.