"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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need some quick advice before this phone call...

mecca411

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I met this girl on the 1st at a bar one night. we hung out until early in the morining...just hanging and kissing. She's from out of town about 2 hours away. I had her number so I called her for the first time this past Thurs when I had a break from work. had to keep the conversation short because I had to head back to work, but it was still decent. I basically told her that I would call her again and let her know if I'd be coming into town for Sunday(today) with my roomate and if we could hang out.

Yesterday some friends of mine dropped in unexpectedly so I thought I'd spend the weekend with them instead. I tried to call the girl yesterday, but only got her machine. I wasn't sure if it was against the rules to leave a message so I just hung it up. I want to call her again today, but I want to know if I should leave a message in the chance I get her machine. Also, what should I say on the message(Call me back? I'll try you again?). Let me know what you think. Thanks.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Dirtheart

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I wasn't sure if it was against the rules to leave a message so I just hung it up.
There are no "rules". Some people advice against leaving messages because...well, I don't know. But as long as it doesn't sound desperate or needy, there's not going to be a problem. I certainly can't imagine a woman thinking "Oh, he left a message. I don't like him any more".

Just keep it brief and casual like "Hi X, it's Mecca411. Sorry I couldn't make it into town this week, but if you want to do something next weekend (in the week or whatever) give me a call."

If she's interested, she'll be glad to hear from you and to know that you haven't brushed her off. If she doesn't get back to you, take it as a sign of low interest and move on. Just don't call her again after you have left a message since you'll sound a little desperate and she might just be taking her time to reply.
 

entropy

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I agree totally with Dirtheart, as long as you don't sound desperate. Nobody likes someone who is desperate, not even you.

The number one cause of seeming desperate, is because you are.....desperate to get into her pants.

If you over-analyze something as trivial as a phone call, you'll just end up sounding desperate.

Just don't call repeatedly.

Oh and guys, girls ARE hip to the one week rule. Set yourself apart (this doesn't mean calling all the time), and show her that your truly interested in her. Really that's all you can do, after that the ball is in her court.
 

ghazala

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.............. :) ................ I might sound a bit weird but here specifically in this particular post I feel as if the softer gender is taken only as fun object .......... I mean to say that like if a guy is interested in a woman it is only because to spend the night's darkness with her ............

Mecca411 dear ......... if you really are interested in her that much why dont you spend some quality time with her ........ know her views n stay forever ...........

No offence intended ............. I felt I should write this so blackened the screen ..........

Take care :)

 
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