Need some perspective on a GF situation

[Radharc]

Hi,

I need some perspective on the following situation. Recently my GF of 3 years has been starting to act really cold, like she´s trying to “disconnect”, first she wouldn´t answer the phone, then she started avoiding talking with me (with excuses for being busy and stuff). I should mention that I´ve been living away from her in a different country since September, I came to study abroad for one year, so there this distance factor which complicates everything, but the relationship was having some problems even before... Finally yesterday I called her on her behavior and she hanged up the phone, after a while she sended me a sms saying something like: “I don’t want to talk anymore, there is nothing more to talk about, we can´t continue to fool ourselves”, I tried to call her and she wouldn't pick up, so I sended a sms saying “OK, sleep well” - I was being ironic since I don’t speak like that with her usually.
I am now terminating contact with her until she calls me and has something to say.
My question is that I´m not really sure what she´s pulling, is this a test? We have had problems and break-ups before but she never behaved like this, all cold and *****y. I was hoping some here might be able to get a clearer read into the situation…

Thanks guys.

 

[Mr. Me]

My guess is that there's someone else in her life now. You've had problems in this relationship, and a few breakups. Not a great relationship. She finally moved on. Go No Contact on her and meet some new girls.

 

[MacAvoy]

Finally yesterday I called her on her behavior and she hanged up the phone, after a while she sended me a sms saying something like: “I don’t want to talk anymore, there is nothing more to talk about, we can´t continue to fool ourselves”, I tried to call her and she wouldn't pick up, so I sended a sms saying “OK, sleep well” - I was being ironic since I don’t speak like that with her usually.
I am now terminating contact with her until she calls me and has something to say.

She lost interest and has moved on. She doesn't want to go out with you anymore. Women don't have the balls to come out and say I'm breaking up with you, so they try to do it in a polite way because they think if they do that, then they are not hurting your feelings.

I am now terminating contact with her until she calls me and has something to say.

This is the best thing. Use this to your advantage, your studying in a new country and have a great opportunity to meet new people. Always look at the positive side my friend.

 

[Last Man Standing]

She is with another guy! Don't expect loyalty from women today!!!

Do not call/contact her unless you want to look like a fool - it's over!!!

 

[amoka]

First of all, why since 2005 you are only making your 3rd post?

Secondly. This: “I don’t want to talk anymore, there is nothing more to talk about, we can´t continue to fool ourselves” is simply an indirect way of saying, let's go our ways. This girlfriend of yours is , unfortunately, not interested in you anymore. I advice you not to call her again until she calls. When she call, please don't pickup. Let her call and again then pick up. When you do, demand what she meant by the text message.

 

[DJDamage]

She was cheating on you and then dumped you to move on with her new man.

Nothing left to salvage.

Move on.

 

[Bible_Belt]

agreed

LDRs never work.

 

[Radharc]

First of all, why since 2005 you are only making your 3rd post?

Well, I don't usually feel the need to post, only when I'm having problems in dealing with a situation, why do you ask? Is that an issue?

That was the first possiblity I thought of, that she might have been cheating, but she is not the kind of girl to hold that back... her behavior is more like she´s waiting for something. I don't know.
And even though part of me cares, the other part just wants to not even think about this anymore, I will cease contact and see what happens.

 

[MacAvoy]

Rad,

Its not often that you have all the posters in a thread agreeing on something around here. That should tell you something. Especially the fact that they are all long time posters.

 

[ketostix]

FWIW, I agree it's pretty clear this girl has moved on.

 

[joekerr31]

i'd bet every single dollar i have that she has a new man. 100% guaranteed. and not just recently - i bet she's been fooling around on you for probably close to 3 months. she's only now decided to pull the trigger though.

this is really an unfortunate side to women - the degree to which they can be utterly cold and heartless once they move on.

the reason you're confused is that your gf messed up in the execution of this break up. normally the woman knows 1-2 months ahead of time that she is going to dump you. in this time she facilitates a variety of fights and arguments so that in the end she can say she's leaving because of YOU. this way they can be a cold hearted b*tch and blame everything on you.

this strategy works on 90% of the guys out there. they end up totally confused and blaming themselves. when in reality, she secretly had been developing something with another guy.

anyway, the best advice in all of these scenarios is to just move on. that includes absolutely NO contact what so ever. you have to honestly and genuinely be done with her.

a lot of guys say they move on, but then spend all their time thinking about their ex, eventually contacting them to give them back a sock or something stupid, etc.

you must embrace being single again to fully move on.

 

[Radharc]

Ok, thank you guys, I actually think I need to be on my own for a while. I'll update if anything interesting happens.

 

[jophil28]

“I don’t want to talk anymore, there is nothing more to talk about, we can´t continue to fool ourselves”,

This is woman talk for "Fukk off and leave me alone."

 

[KontrollerX]

"in this time she facilitates a variety of fights and arguments so that in the end she can say she's leaving because of YOU. this way they can be a cold hearted b*tch and blame everything on you."

This is very true.

Another thing to watch for is extreme behaviour change be it extremely bad behaviour or extremely good behaviour.

If its extreme good behaviour its probably because the chick has some guilt about riding and sucking some other guys c0ck while you think the slvt has been loyal all this time and just rewarding you for being a good boyfriend.

If its bad behaviour then its exactly as joekerr has said and you're being set up so the little coward can blame you for her wrongdoing and end it on her terms.

 

[Chrispy]

You should just drop her as well. Play hardball. The signs are on the wall that she has found someone or has lost interest in you completely. Since things were not that great as you said, nothing has been lost..at least on your end!

 

[mintxx]

if a chic doesn't answer the phone twice in a row, you don't speak to her again unless she calls you