Need some legit advice here

[captain55]

Asked a chick I've been gaming for a few months to be my girlfriend the other day. Shes been leaving me hints for a little while now. In most cases I would not recommend asking a chick to be your gf because in MOST cases you **** the girl until she falls for you and at that point she asks you to be exclusive but this chick is different she doesn't have ONS or casual sex. I wouldn't recommend pursuing a chick as long as i did if she wasn't putting out either but again this was an exception.

This chick knows Im good with women and is having doubts that I am going to commit. How do I show her that I'm serious about being exclusive without sounding like a ***** and giving up my balls? Usually its the chick that asks me to commit, I don't worry about a girl being exclusive to me because I know when you give a girl good sex and always keep your frame she has no reason to leave and is the one usually to ask you to stop seeing other people. Again this situation is different. Plus could actually see myself with her. I would like something more serious at this point in my life boys.

hints
-she likes being possessed
-she's into crazy guys...so its a good match I guess lol
-she's got major trust issues with men

 

[sazc]

im confused, did you ask her to be your girlfriend? If so, isnt that indication enough that you are planning on being exclusive?

are you, or are you not, sexing her?

 

[Bible_Belt]

but this chick is different

uh-huh....sure she is.

 

[captain55]

im confused, did you ask her to be your girlfriend? If so, isnt that indication enough that you are planning on being exclusive?

are you, or are you not, sexing her?

Yes. She said “you surprised me today. I didn’t think you were the type to want to commit to anyone” and the proceeded with a follow up text saying “I’m trying to figure out if your serious”

We’ve made out and fooled around she has not let me ****. Cmon man do you think I would ever ask a chick to be my gf if I was ****ing her lol? If I i was ****ing her this would be a done deal already. This chick is not having sex with any guy that’s not her bf

 

[captain55]

but this chick is different

uh-huh....sure she is.

I know her best friend. She’s never had a ons....how is that not different in 2018? That’s extremely rare for a chick these days

 

[sazc]

Yes. She said “you surprised me today. I didn’t think you were the type to want to commit to anyone” and the proceeded with a follow up text saying “I’m trying to figure out if your serious”

We’ve made out and fooled around she has not let me ****. Cmon man do you think I would ever ask a chick to be my gf if I was ****ing her lol? If I i was ****ing her this would be a done deal already. This chick is not having sex with any guy that’s not her bf

So reply and say "I was serious" and leave it at that. Let her initiate any follow up, questions discussions, etc.

 

[captain55]

So reply and say "I was serious" and leave it at that. Let her initiate any follow up, questions discussions, etc.

Solid advice. Yeah I called her yesterday and told her I was serious and commiting to one chick is a big deal to me she said “your full of it” in a joking manner and said she’ll talk to me later. Wish she knew I was serious

 

[sazc]

Solid advice. Yeah I called her yesterday and told her I was serious and commiting to one chick is a big deal to me she said “your full of it” in a joking manner and said she’ll talk to me later. Wish she knew I was serious

She does know you are serious, she's processing and trying to get over her fear. Her reaction sounds immature tho. And she sounds like she's got baggage.

Who knows how it will unfold. Just lay low and meet her reach out. It's a bit disrespectful to respond like this tho.

 

[captain55]

She does know you are serious, she's processing and trying to get over her fear. Her reaction sounds immature tho. And she sounds like she's got baggage.

Who knows how it will unfold. Just lay low and meet her reach out. It's a bit disrespectful to respond like this tho.

You mean it’s disrespectful on my end or her end?

I was honestly hoping to get in her pants first and bang her brains out, then ask me to be exclusive and at that point I would of said yes.

I made the mistake of sharing too much with her very early on when we started talking about myself and my womanizing ways so now I’m paying the price. I was arrogant and too ****y

 

[Roober]

Been here since 2013, and it seems like your reverting? Asked this girl to be your gf and you haven't even sexed her yet? Sounds like an act of desperation to get laid. Your solidly in her frame.

 

[sazc]

You mean it’s disrespectful on my end or her end?

I was honestly hoping to get in her pants first and bang her brains out, then ask me to be exclusive and at that point I would of said yes.

I made the mistake of sharing too much with her very early on when we started talking about myself and my womanizing ways so now I’m paying the price. I was arrogant and too ****y

Disrespectful on her end. you got a little vulnerable with her and asked her to be exclusive and she's treating you like it's all one big joke.

I don't know if the nature of your relationship is generally sarcastic and maybe that's why she is doing this? Or if you gave her the impression that you would never settle down?

If not then her behavior is disrespectful

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Player Supreme was right "but she's HAWT".... **** those Attention wasters. Get a bytch that chose you. Once we overanalyze these hoez we've submitted. It's a wrap.

 

[captain55]

Been here since 2013, and it seems like your reverting? Asked this girl to be your gf and you haven't even sexed her yet? Sounds like an act of desperation to get laid. Your solidly in her frame.

Been here since 2013, and it seems like your reverting? Asked this girl to be your gf and you haven't even sexed her yet? Sounds like an act of desperation to get laid. Your solidly in her frame.

You didn’t read my post. I had the ball in my court...when it came time to put out she chickened out

Disrespectful on her end. you got a little vulnerable with her and asked her to be exclusive and she's treating you like it's all one big joke.

I don't know if the nature of your relationship is generally sarcastic and maybe that's why she is doing this? Or if you gave her the impression that you would never settle down?

If not then her behavior is disrespectful

I did give the impression I would never settle down. She definitely lets me get away with a lot. I told her before I ever asked her out that i would.never ask a chick to be my gf it’s the woman’s job and she goes “I guess we’ll never be in a relationship then because I don’t hit at it and you don’t either”

So the next day I said **** it and just asked her. She seemed happy and excited, then a few days later changed her mind

 

[RangerMIke]

I think the OP is the one being gamed....

Okay having said that, you asked her to be exclusive... and you have not gotten a solid response. What does your gut tell you is going on? A chick that is completely into you and not playing games, and who is sane enough to be in a relationship with, would have jumped on that in a heart-beat.

She either has serious trust issues, which is going to get old really fvcking fast, or she really isn't that into you.... or both.

My advice is to just keep dating this chick if that is what you want, and never bring up the "R" word again until she does. Then you need to get out and date other chicks until she comes around or gives you the LJBF speech.

 

[Murk]

Oh yes, the old make her your gf before sex. Welcome to the year 29 BC - oh wait even those guys had a set of balls.

 

[captain55]

I think the OP is the one being gamed....

Okay having said that, you asked her to be exclusive... and you have not gotten a solid response. What does your gut tell you is going on? A chick that is completely into you and not playing games, and who is sane enough to be in a relationship with, would have jumped on that in a heart-beat.

She either has serious trust issues, which is going to get old really fvcking fast, or she really isn't that into you.... or both.

My advice is to just keep dating this chick if that is what you want, and never bring up the "R" word again until she does. Then you need to get out and date other chicks until she comes around or gives you the LJBF speech.

The thing is I tried to **** her and she never let me. But she would let me stick her tongue down her throat and make out with her a

I think the OP is the one being gamed....

Okay having said that, you asked her to be exclusive... and you have not gotten a solid response. What does your gut tell you is going on? A chick that is completely into you and not playing games, and who is sane enough to be in a relationship with, would have jumped on that in a heart-beat.

She either has serious trust issues, which is going to get old really fvcking fast, or she really isn't that into you.... or both.

My advice is to just keep dating this chick if that is what you want, and never bring up the "R" word again until she does. Then you need to get out and date other chicks until she comes around or gives you the LJBF speech.

I asked her to be exclusive because she kept leaving me obvious hints asking me to be exclusive. You don’t think I tried to **** her before this?

 

[jaymbrs]

The thing is I tried to **** her and she never let me. But she would let me stick her tongue down her throat and make out with her a


I asked her to be exclusive because she kept leaving me obvious hints asking me to be exclusive. You don’t think I tried to **** her before this?

It is possible she thinks you're just trying to **** by asking her to be your GF. By the sounds of it, it looks like that's all you're trying to do as well. I would do what @RangerMIke said and continue dating her without bringing this up again. However, do start separating yourself as well. Because it's possible she's going to make you "prove" you really want her to be exclusive with her.

 

[MrJack]

I did give the impression I would never settle down. She definitely lets me get away with a lot. I told her before I ever asked her out that i would.never ask a chick to be my gf it’s the woman’s job and she goes “I guess we’ll never be in a relationship then because I don’t hit at it and you don’t either”

So the next day I said **** it and just asked her. She seemed happy and excited, then a few days later changed her mind

This girl sounds a lot like one I was trying to fvck recently. Apparently she doesn’t do ONS and after a night out with some social circle friends, I was the most alpha I could be (preselection, talking to other hot women, making the group laugh, building attraction/comfort etc.)

By the end of the night I picked her up and brought her in my room and she gave me some shyt about me being too suspicious/mysterious and that she wanted sex with me to be special...

After that night she said she wants to hangout again but we haven’t talked since lol.

She’s an attention hoe with baggage like sacz said and it’s near impossible to know what to do or say at that point because who knows what’s going on in her crazy head.

Do what sacz said and just say you were serious and leave it. If it’s all a big joke to her then fine she can lose you.

 

[RangerMIke]

I asked her to be exclusive because she kept leaving me obvious hints asking me to be exclusive. You don’t think I tried to **** her before this?

The next time this happens, when you have a woman beating around the bushes with 'hints' then you need to pin her down, if this is what you want. Without knowing exactly what the 'hints' were, I can't tell if what she was doing really was hinting around. So it would be helpful if you would post exactly what she said to you and how long you guys have been casually dating... then specific advice can be given.

Seldom will a chick who wants you exclusively just come out and say this, especially if you are dating her properly, because she is going to be confused where she stands..... it usually comes in some sort of "What are we doing?" sort of comment, or "Where do you think this is going?" There is a great example of how you should handle this in the movie "Big" when the character portrayed by Tom Hanks is asked this question by the character portrayed by Elizabeth Perkins. The Hank's character doesn't know what she is getting at because he is a child trapped in a man's body, so he is REALLY 'confused' by the question... which is exactly how you should handle this. Your response should be "What do you mean?" Make her come out and say it.... then you joke around a bit, to lighten the tension, until she just comes out and says she wants exclusivity. Depending on what you want this is how you handle it:

You want a relationship: You start laying the ground work for what the relationship is going to look like. Try not to leave too much in the air, but if you have things you MUST have, or things you WONT do, then you need to get this out then. Then you find out what her wants and needs, and decide if you are willing to live with that. It's like buying a car and you are working out the best deal with the car salesman. If you walk on a car lot and the salesman KNOWS you want a particular car, he has you by the balls, and he will be able to extract out the most in that deal. The best way to get the most out of a deal is to tell the car salesman what you must have, including the max you are willing to pay, and he has to believe that if you don't get what you want you'll go someplace else. This does a couple of things for you, it let's the chick know you are not a push-over and will just settle for anything, AND most important, it makes her put effort into getting and keeping you, because the most effort she puts into this, the more she will value you.

If you don't want a relationship: Well this is easy.... you still act confused by what she means, and you still joke around with her, but then when she makes things clear about what she wants, you HONESTLY tell her that you like her and want to keep seeing her, but that you don't want to complicate things and you prefer things stay as they are. Now... you have to be prepared that she is going to pull away after this and you have to let this happen and not go chasing after her when she goes cold. In my experience, depending on how much she wants you, she might work harder to make you happy, then she will circle around again in 2 or 3 months, and if you still balk at a relationship, you will start to lose her gradually... and you have to let this happen. If you do not want a relationship it isn't fair to you or her to carry on a charade just for regular $ex.

 

[captain55]

Ok this

The next time this happens, when you have a woman beating around the bushes with 'hints' then you need to pin her down, if this is what you want. Without knowing exactly what the 'hints' were, I can't tell if what she was doing really was hinting around. So it would be helpful if you would post exactly what she said to you and how long you guys have been casually dating... then specific advice can be given.

Seldom will a chick who wants you exclusively just come out and say this, especially if you are dating her properly, because she is going to be confused where she stands..... it usually comes in some sort of "What are we doing?" sort of comment, or "Where do you think this is going?" There is a great example of how you should handle this in the movie "Big" when the character portrayed by Tom Hanks is asked this question by the character portrayed by Elizabeth Perkins. The Hank's character doesn't know what she is getting at because he is a child trapped in a man's body, so he is REALLY 'confused' by the question... which is exactly how you should handle this. Your response should be "What do you mean?" Make her come out and say it.... then you joke around a bit, to lighten the tension, until she just comes out and says she wants exclusivity. Depending on what you want this is how you handle it:

You want a relationship: You start laying the ground work for what the relationship is going to look like. Try not to leave too much in the air, but if you have things you MUST have, or things you WONT do, then you need to get this out then. Then you find out what her wants and needs, and decide if you are willing to live with that. It's like buying a car and you are working out the best deal with the car salesman. If you walk on a car lot and the salesman KNOWS you want a particular car, he has you by the balls, and he will be able to extract out the most in that deal. The best way to get the most out of a deal is to tell the car salesman what you must have, including the max you are willing to pay, and he has to believe that if you don't get what you want you'll go someplace else. This does a couple of things for you, it let's the chick know you are not a push-over and will just settle for anything, AND most important, it makes her put effort into getting and keeping you, because the most effort she puts into this, the more she will value you.

If you don't want a relationship: Well this is easy.... you still act confused by what she means, and you still joke around with her, but then when she makes things clear about what she wants, you HONESTLY tell her that you like her and want to keep seeing her, but that you don't want to complicate things and you prefer things stay as they are. Now... you have to be prepared that she is going to pull away after this and you have to let this happen and not go chasing after her when she goes cold. In my experience, depending on how much she wants you, she might work harder to make you happy, then she will circle around again in 2 or 3 months, and if you still balk at a relationship, you will start to lose her gradually... and you have to let this happen. If you do not want a relationship it isn't fair to you or her to carry on a charade just for regular $ex.

We’ve been talking for three months and we’ve gone out four times. The big hint for me was when she said “I just feel like your going to make me your gf if we hang out a lot and I’m not ready for that” (even though I never once mentioned this to her or acted attached to her in the slightest. I would actually disappear on her from time to time)

I said what do you mean? I never said that

She goes “You like me ...you want to take me away on weekends, you want to be the only guy that I am sleeping with”
(Even though I never once said any of this to her lol)

She also would say things like “maybe you put up with my bs cause you want me to be all yours”

How do I let this chick know I’m not just interested in ****ing her? I don’t wanna go full beta and embarrass myself here but she does admit to me she likes crazy guys so maybe I’ll foloow her when she gets off from work if she refuses to meet up with me and force her to talk. She will probably get off to it

I still haven’t hit her up since we last spoke I’m waiting for her to contact me

She did mention when I first started talking to her she likes being friends with a guy before she gets physical with him but that’s not really my style I like to escalate quickly