I chatted up a girl this weekend at a wedding. She was the most attractive girl at the wedding, much less that i've ever opened (HB10, I have only met a few other HB10's in 4 years of bartending). We were in line at the bar and, I opened with small talk about my drink and asked what she thought about guys that drink girly drinks. (I was getting a drink for my friend who was filming the bride and groom's first dance, who wanted a girly drink). I turned around to order the drink and she kinda walked off to an open spot on the bar so I just brought the drink to my friend.
15 mins later a girl that my friend is dating (who happens to be her friend) tells me that the HB10 is really interested in me and she liked my approach. (wasn't an approach, I was bored in line and she was waiting for me to talk to her) I talk to my friend and his girl for a while and HB10 comes over to talk as well. The night goes well, and I ask her todance a couple times. We had fun at the wedding.
I mediate the decision for the location of the afterparty and everyone decides to go to a bar after the wedding to continue the fun. HB10 suggests that we ride together. We jump in my truck then she suggests going in her car so she can smoke. (I dont smoke, so whatever) So I grab her keys, and drive us to the bar.
We get there first along with another guy that was hitting on her at the wedding. He drives a tricked out mustang so I chat up the guy for a minute or two outside about his car with the HB10 just listening. (I dont know **** about cars, I just asked a lot of questions and threw in comments when I could pick up on something that I did know) I pretty much disarmed him and killed his game on the HB10 by establishing myself as the alpha.
We go inside and I order a drink for us while more people show up and everything goes great for about an hour. After a couple of drinks I turn to her as she is walking back from the bathroom and _tell_ (as opposed to "ask") her to grab us a couple of waters from the bar. She gets a weird look on her face and gets all uptight about it. (later on says something about being old fashioned and thought I was being demanding like her previous 4 year relationship fiance) So I go to the bathroom myself then grab the waters and put hers on the table next to where she was sitting, and now listening to the mustang guy talk.
I realize that I lost my composure at her response from the request and to get it back I tell her that I am going scout around and chat up some girls that I met at a Mardi Gras ball a few weeks ago (HB7,HB8,HB8.5). I figure it would do well for me to clear my head and let her see me talking to some other attractive girls.
Long story short, the night ended up with both of us being frustrated, I never regained my composure with her and she has all these AFC's hitting on her and trying to buy her shots. (she is only drinking water at this point) I later tried to make an attempt to get back into the groove with her when she was talking to one of my married friends but got ****blocked hard by his drunkeness that went something like:
married guy: so you have a lot of competition with all these guys hitting on your girl
me: well i dont really see it as a competition. I enjoy meeting people and having fun. Im not really into chasing women around the bar offering drinks for attention, its not my thing.
married guy: ahh, then what you are saying is that you like them to be easy...
me(inside): :cuss: :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:
me(outside): wow... how much have you had to drink tonight?
yea, i dont really like the guy that much anymore, and I completely handled it wrong.
1:30 rolls around and I tell her that the bar is about to close and we should head out. One of my female friends stops her and tries to pull a "this is my younger stepbrother" and tries to say some things that will help but ends up talking to the HB10 like she's an idiot and I tell her that the bar is closing soon and we need to get going.
The drive back to my truck ( not to her apartment! ) was awkward as well this is when she gives me the whole "i'm old fashioned" and "I was in a 4 year relationship with my fiance of whom you remind me" speech. I've generally lost all of my composure (probably didn't help that I was half drunk) at this point and am just looking forward to getting back to my truck to head home and analyze the nights events. My truck ends up being locked inside the parking lot (it was gated) and she drops me off at a friends house. I hand her my phone and she calls hers with it to get my number as well. I reach in for the kiss and put my finger under her chin to move her lips to my cheek because I really wasn't expecting a real kiss and I wasn't going to be the one giving her the kiss on the cheek. To my surprise she actually kissed me on the lips instead but I pulled her away as soon as they touched (dont ask why, I was intoxicated)
end of the night
My question is simply, "what did I do right and what did I do wrong and where can I improve?"
From here, I figure I still have a pretty good shot with her. (and by that I mean she still hasn't screwed it up enough to warrant the 'next' status yet) I'll give her a call on my way home from work this afternoon and do the whole coffee, action date routine with her this week.
ps: "holy sh.it!" on the insight you get on the whole situation when you are typing it out and looking at is subjectively instead of just thinking about it in your head
15 mins later a girl that my friend is dating (who happens to be her friend) tells me that the HB10 is really interested in me and she liked my approach. (wasn't an approach, I was bored in line and she was waiting for me to talk to her) I talk to my friend and his girl for a while and HB10 comes over to talk as well. The night goes well, and I ask her todance a couple times. We had fun at the wedding.
I mediate the decision for the location of the afterparty and everyone decides to go to a bar after the wedding to continue the fun. HB10 suggests that we ride together. We jump in my truck then she suggests going in her car so she can smoke. (I dont smoke, so whatever) So I grab her keys, and drive us to the bar.
We get there first along with another guy that was hitting on her at the wedding. He drives a tricked out mustang so I chat up the guy for a minute or two outside about his car with the HB10 just listening. (I dont know **** about cars, I just asked a lot of questions and threw in comments when I could pick up on something that I did know) I pretty much disarmed him and killed his game on the HB10 by establishing myself as the alpha.
We go inside and I order a drink for us while more people show up and everything goes great for about an hour. After a couple of drinks I turn to her as she is walking back from the bathroom and _tell_ (as opposed to "ask") her to grab us a couple of waters from the bar. She gets a weird look on her face and gets all uptight about it. (later on says something about being old fashioned and thought I was being demanding like her previous 4 year relationship fiance) So I go to the bathroom myself then grab the waters and put hers on the table next to where she was sitting, and now listening to the mustang guy talk.
I realize that I lost my composure at her response from the request and to get it back I tell her that I am going scout around and chat up some girls that I met at a Mardi Gras ball a few weeks ago (HB7,HB8,HB8.5). I figure it would do well for me to clear my head and let her see me talking to some other attractive girls.
Long story short, the night ended up with both of us being frustrated, I never regained my composure with her and she has all these AFC's hitting on her and trying to buy her shots. (she is only drinking water at this point) I later tried to make an attempt to get back into the groove with her when she was talking to one of my married friends but got ****blocked hard by his drunkeness that went something like:
married guy: so you have a lot of competition with all these guys hitting on your girl
me: well i dont really see it as a competition. I enjoy meeting people and having fun. Im not really into chasing women around the bar offering drinks for attention, its not my thing.
married guy: ahh, then what you are saying is that you like them to be easy...
me(inside): :cuss: :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:
me(outside): wow... how much have you had to drink tonight?
yea, i dont really like the guy that much anymore, and I completely handled it wrong.
1:30 rolls around and I tell her that the bar is about to close and we should head out. One of my female friends stops her and tries to pull a "this is my younger stepbrother" and tries to say some things that will help but ends up talking to the HB10 like she's an idiot and I tell her that the bar is closing soon and we need to get going.
The drive back to my truck ( not to her apartment! ) was awkward as well this is when she gives me the whole "i'm old fashioned" and "I was in a 4 year relationship with my fiance of whom you remind me" speech. I've generally lost all of my composure (probably didn't help that I was half drunk) at this point and am just looking forward to getting back to my truck to head home and analyze the nights events. My truck ends up being locked inside the parking lot (it was gated) and she drops me off at a friends house. I hand her my phone and she calls hers with it to get my number as well. I reach in for the kiss and put my finger under her chin to move her lips to my cheek because I really wasn't expecting a real kiss and I wasn't going to be the one giving her the kiss on the cheek. To my surprise she actually kissed me on the lips instead but I pulled her away as soon as they touched (dont ask why, I was intoxicated)
end of the night
My question is simply, "what did I do right and what did I do wrong and where can I improve?"
From here, I figure I still have a pretty good shot with her. (and by that I mean she still hasn't screwed it up enough to warrant the 'next' status yet) I'll give her a call on my way home from work this afternoon and do the whole coffee, action date routine with her this week.
ps: "holy sh.it!" on the insight you get on the whole situation when you are typing it out and looking at is subjectively instead of just thinking about it in your head
