Need some input on a weird situation

[JohnChops]

Alright so my oneitis girl, who ive been NC for a couple of months now, contacted me the other day because she had a question to ask me. And that question was asking me if i fvcked her best friend.

So heres some background. I did bang her best friend multiple times for the hell of it a month back. And my oneitis girl knew nothing about it because even she didnt tell her.

So here i am sitting with my phone in hand contemplating on texting back. So I said, "go for it" and she sprung that question on me.

Then i asked why she needed to know which she replied: Because im not speaking to her because of it. if she did that knowing how i felt about you then she is a sh1tty friend.

To I reply, how you feel about me?

And then she goes into this whole bit on how she loves me and what not and i start bursting out laughing because this had to have been the largest lies i have ever heard in my life. How disrespectful for her to lie to me like that. On the other hand she isnt talking to her bestfriend because of it... so heres what im thinking
1.She is jealous because ive moved on and she doesnt have her little orbiter anymore
2. She truly likes me
3. A mix of 1 and 2.

I havent told her anything, she was trying to have a serious convo with me over text and i dont do serious conversations over text so i was just turning all her seriousness into jokes lol. Then i said ill tell you in person im not going to bother texting anymore. To which she replied "or you could just tell me over text so you dont have to see me". Then i said "but i like a good laugh"

That mustve made her pissed because she said "Whatever i dont even care anymore, its done.".

So obviously she didnt want to meet up with me and didnt care about the situation anymore so she says.

So what would you guys do in this situation, tell her and then continue ignoring her? or not tell her and then continue ignoring (NC)?

 

[JohnChops]

my vote is don't tell her and keep ignoring. Obviously this girl brings nothing but drama and heartache to your life, it's time you cut her out.

Whether you fvcked her friend or not is none of her business. I think the fact that she's not sure one way or the other is driving her crazy. Best revenge ever.

Yeah I did drop her completely about 60 days ago and feel great. You're right best revenge ever. Thanks Brad, I'm not gonna let her try and bait me again. It didn't make sense that she even wanted to know. Ill let her suffer. Forever

 

[JohnChops]

she keeps fvcking texting me. i swear it feels good to have control of your emotions and be in control on the situation but god damn she never used to text me this much. i keep deleteing the conversations so i dont respond. i feel like she thinks if shes nice to me ill tell her what happened. lol women.

 

[dap]

I assume she broke up with you? If so:

Send one last text . It says "When you decided you no longer wanted to be a part of my life, you gave up the right to ask these kinds of questions. I wish you all the best, and hope you have learned from your mistakes, as I have"

The first sentence rubs her nose in what she lost and FORCES her to accept
responsibility for where she is in life, namely, without you! The second sentence is to confuse the living fvck outta her and make that hamster spin. Keep us posted!!

I dunno. You could do this, but its kinda snarky/drama seeking. I'd just let her wonder in silence.

 

[JohnChops]

i just told her to leave me alone . if anyone wanted to know what i said.

 

[Purefilth]

Fair call. I'm sure she just wanted her egos d1ck sucked anyway.

 

[JohnChops]

Fair call. I'm sure she just wanted her egos d1ck sucked anyway.

the sad part was she was trying to be so nice, then started acting *****y when i said i wouldnt tell her. You know maybe i wouldve told her if she was nice, lol just fvcking kidding. I felt like letting her go and letting her suffer is awesome.

Glad i did answer her text from the start.

 

[Purefilth]

they always act nice if they want something.

the sweetest cutest voice is followed by favours. ALWAYS.

 

[JohnChops]

they always act nice if they want something.

the sweetest cutest voice is followed by favours. ALWAYS.

Mhm. Then she texted me again... saying ill tell you how I really feel about you if you tell me what i want to know.

Lol, come on now its just getting stupid on her part. She is 100% serious in all these convos and im just 100% playing around . :crackup:

So i said," i already know how you and the other 3.5 billion girls on the planet feel about me " . Then shut my phone off for the night.

I dont know about anyone else but when you fully are detached from your oneitis it is a truly great feeling knowing you can fck with them and then go about your business with a clear mind.

 

[Purefilth]

hehe -> look at the likkle hamster going mad!

 

[JohnChops]

hehe -> look at the likkle hamster going mad!

Well guys heres another update. Saturday was one helluva night. Let me explain here.

Im sitting at home studying, my minds wrapped in my bio, i get a text from my friend : " Party for my GFs birthday, sorry if its last minute, come at 9 !"

So obviously im stoked, a reason to take a break finally. So i hit up my other friend and we head to this party. Holy girl heaven btw. Im picking some music from this girls ipod and complimented her on her great taste in music. We're bonding and everything is going fvcking awesome. Im just strutting around, i feel good, everything is good, im feeling like the man.

Then, i get a text from you know who (cough cough topic of this thread) and she just said "hi". Me being a bit tipsy , not drunk, i answered and said whats up.

She then said, " Can you meet up with me tonight we need to talk about this".

I left the text alone for 20 minutes. I was talking to these two girls, great conversation going. Then i got their opinion on the situation at hand and they said " DONT tell her, let her be" pretty much what you guys told me here. I was surprised as getting real good advice from women never really happens but hey it paralleled with sosuave.

Like a fvcking idiot know it all thick headed god damn retarded 19 year old i am i said "SURE meet me at xxx, in 20". ......:cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

She texts me " im here, where are you" Didnt text back. Obviously being the dumbass i am im on the way.

I get there and im usually the sight of her brings back painful memories and good ones too but i was kind of blunt when i saw her, maybe since i cut her out of my life for months.

The talk began, at first i didnt want to tell her sh1t (good boy) but i swear she kept saying different things to try and get me to talk. My history with her isnt the best, we had a great thing going in the start (2 years ago) and then i confessed my feelings for her, didnt work out, i cut her off and everytime she tried to speak to me i always had this pissed off attitude towards her. I gave her the vibe that i fvcking hated her, hey i did what could i say? Too bad it rubbed off in convo once in awhile. Anyway back to the story.

She was telling me how she was so broken up about this and if it was any other guy she would drop him and stop speaking to him right off the bat but there was something about me she didnt want to let go. She said she was stupid for not showing her true feelings for me and made something happen between us (a relationship) and she said that she was willing to try this time she wanted to act on her words for once . I asked her why she didnt try to contact me or anything before and she said "well because i thought you hated my guts so i didnt want to bother you, i wanted to leave you alone ".

That kept making me think, is she stringing me along or does she actually feel what she says towards me? Keep reading youll find out the answer.

So the convo went by and i told her I had sex with her friend. She just stood there with the blankest look on her face ever. period. Then it was silent for a good 2 minutes (felt like an hour). She kept looking away and i was like wtf is she looking away for and i saw she was crying ......

crying....

She asked me how long this kept going on for, i just said i dont know. I didnt expect her to do this one bit really, i thought she was just gonna want her answer and then leave emotionless. But holy sh1t i made a fvcking girl cry. She pretty much said, "i dont want to talk to you for now you better leave" . (something along those lines). Ive never seen this girl cry one bit and this moment to me proved she actually did grow up a bit from how she was a long time ago. I just said "youre a smart girl and i wish you the best of luck with the rest of your life and everything else" and then i left.

Ahh man, i had to get this out. ive been trying to bottle this up but i needed to go somewhere you know.

For some reason i feel unaffacted by this.... like im not broken up or anything, maybe the day after i was a bit mad but now im the same as i was before.... wtf does that mean?!

Do i really have my emotions in check, finally? or is it just i dont want to think aboit this anymore?

I need some help fellas, please.

 

[JohnChops]

Update : I haven't contacted her as I've been busy with school. So I get a text last night from my buddy who I work with. He's telling me that HB came into work, yeah I knew her before I worked with her, sad as hell borderline crying. So I was kind if shocked. I feel like she's trying to get me to admit some feeling for her but in all honesty she's just another girl.

I tried to get her to open up to what she wants from me but she just won't. I'm just calling it a week and I'm going to talk to her in person in the near future . Since when I first talked to her I was bogged down in my mind, now I recollected my thoughts and well see where it goes.

 

[Albatross953]

I hope it works out for you man. But I gotta tell you, there's one way this works out for john, and about a million ways you get screwed over.
Good luck, but I think your odds are better with no contact and if you just kept banging the friend quietly.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

You know what the irony of "no contact" is? It's that in order for you to do no contact, you have to constantly think about the person you're trying to not contact. In other words, they stay on your brain the entire time, and initially you think "man, I must be doing good 'cause I don't even need to talk to them now!"

But then, because you're constantly thinking about ignoring them, you're also constantly reminding yourself of the presence they once had in your life. And, from time to time, in the midst of thinking about the fact that you're not contacting them, you also think about some of the good times you had together. After a while, those good times can seem to overshadow just how crappy the relationship actually was. And the result? When they decide to contact you, you think "eh, what could one conversation hurt?"

Next thing ya know, though, you end up in a situation like this: where it turns out old wounds aren't healed, and the conversation you have only seems to make those hurt feelings even worse, regardless of if they're your feelings or feelings being transferred from one party to the next.

I still think going No Contact is the best way to go in break-up situations, especially in a case like this where, assuming she was the dumpee, she's only getting back into contact with you because of her own ego. This post is more of a warning of how your brain will trick you into re-connecting with someone who broke it off with you, if you let yourself get tricked.

 

[Trump]

Alright so my oneitis girl, who ive been NC for a couple of months now, contacted me the other day because she had a question to ask me. And that question was asking me if i fvcked her best friend.

Then i asked why she needed to know which she replied: Because im not speaking to her because of it. if she did that knowing how i felt about you then she is a sh1tty friend.

So what would you guys do in this situation, tell her and then continue ignoring her? or not tell her and then continue ignoring (NC)?

Oh man bro you got side tracked with her text, "how I feel about you." Never lose focus.

Why would you tell her and then ignore her? That doesn't make sense. I'd tell her only if she gave money or sex, anything else is of no value. Who cares if she and her friend aren't getting along, thats not your problem.

If she wants an answer from you, you have to get something in return that's of physical value. Hockey tickets, sex, money, whatever. But don't think telling her is going to make her magically fall in love with you or not telling her will change anything.

 

[JohnChops]

Oh man bro you got side tracked with her text, "how I feel about you." Never lose focus.

Why would you tell her and then ignore her? That doesn't make sense. I'd tell her only if she gave money or sex, anything else is of no value. Who cares if she and her friend aren't getting along, thats not your problem.

If she wants an answer from you, you have to get something in return that's of physical value. Hockey tickets, sex, money, whatever. But don't think telling her is going to make her magically fall in love with you or not telling her will change anything.

Trump, i see where youre coming from but when i met up with her in person (see long ass paragraph lol ) she seemed so emotional about the whole thing and she is still broken up about it, a couple day later . If she truly didnt want anything to do with methen she wouldnt be that upset right?

Ahh Harry, i never thought of NC that way but damn youre right. NC kinda seems like a veil of ignorance for us to forget the ones we are infatuated with and yet they still remain in our minds.

What i simply dont get is, why teh hell is she so broken up about this, sad, moody, just real invested in this whole situation if SHE didnt like me ?

Ill keep you updated fellas, i may go and break the sosuave rules here

 

[Purefilth]

They are only guidelines bro.
I can hear your hamster wheel spinning and overanalysing from here.

bottom line is -nothing had changed, except that you have your mine all over her again because of a few texts and a drunken chat.

You haven't any cause ti worry over her thoughts. You gave it a shot before and got blown out. Seriously, consider the pains you went through before, then if its still worth it - go for it just for the moment though, chill.

 

[JohnChops]

They are only guidelines bro.
I can hear your hamster wheel spinning and overanalysing from here.

bottom line is -nothing had changed, except that you have your mine all over her again because of a few texts and a drunken chat.

You haven't any cause ti worry over her thoughts. You gave it a shot before and got blown out. Seriously, consider the pains you went through before, then if its still worth it - go for it just for the moment though, chill.

I was literally about to update this. I agree man nothing is going to change between me and her. I was dumb for even breaking no contact with her because as Harry said, old wounds haven't healed. NC gave me almost a false sense of healing . But man do I feel like sh1t again, pretty much how I felt last time except now I can control my emotions a lot better but my thoughts are out of control.

I seriously need to forget her now. Fvck , making mistakes is how you learn but I made the same mistake twice.... Third times a charm ? NC time again, not like ill have to worry about her contacting me she is pissed.

 

[JohnChops]

Last and final update.

This had to have been the dumbest thing I have ever done, not banging her best friend but telling her. Honestly I'm fvcked right now. Feeling that oneitis creep in again. She had the nerve to say ," if you planned on talking to me in the future you shouldn't have fvcked my best friend ". Wtf.

I think it's time to take a break with women and so suave in general. Get my mind off things. Thanks for the help guys wish I wasn't such a thick headed fvck and just listened to you.

EDITTTT- i take back everything i said above. i feel free. the thought of me and her that lingered in my mind is gone. i have no reason to talk to her anyway, i got my closure, i know that nothing will happen between me and her. she even said it herself the surefire way to kill a relationship with a girl before it started is to fvck her best friend.

Take care so suave, ill see you in the future. Enough keyboard jockeying.