"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Need some help.

Coastie 585

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Hey guys, first off I gotta say this is a great forum, been lurking for a while.

I met this girl about three weeks ago. We have gone out on about three "real dates" and probably have hung out 5 or 6 other times. We seem to have a lot in common and I think she is attracted to me. If I offer to meet up and she is busy she will suggest other times/dates. Got a kiss on the first date and now we will greet eachother with a kiss any time we meet up or depart.

One problem,

I am the only one to make first contact. I always text first, I always call first. She will pick up and we will chat for a while but she never calls first which makes me feel like I am chasing her around. Like I said earlier, I know she is having fun when we go out and I am pretty sure she enjoys my company but I don't want to feel like I am chasing her around. My buddy suggested I don't call her or text her until she calls or texts me and so far it has been about a day and a half (yeah, she is kind of on my mind).

I would appreciate any help or advice. You guys rock. :rockon:
-Coastie
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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WC2

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What kind of dates have you been going on?

What's the deal with this chick and how far have you gone w/ her (sex?)?

Your feelings serve you right; there must be a healthy balance in interest. But if you're already on your 3rd date and taking this chick out to dinner without making a solid move at some point, she could very well be bored.
 

Coastie 585

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WC2 said:
What kind of dates have you been going on?

What's the deal with this chick and how far have you gone w/ her (sex?)?

Your feelings serve you right; there must be a healthy balance in interest. But if you're already on your 3rd date and taking this chick out to dinner without making a solid move at some point, she could very well be bored.

First date was a comedy club/dinner. Most recent was dinner and a movie.



We're both in college, close in age. Got a kiss the first date and our last date we made out in my car before dropping her off.

Again, I would say I can tell when someone is interested in me and I legitimately think she is.

I see what you're saying though, next time we go out I just need to step up my game.

What do you think about her not calling? Is it a non-issue that in *****ing about? Does it sound like a good idea to not call her? I figure worst comes to worse I realize she doesn't want to go out and I move on, best situation she calls me and realizes she is not the only thing on my mind after a few days.

Thanks again man.
 

Ridingthelightning

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Sometimes people don't call back because they just don't.
Some women do want to be chased and you have to decide whether you will put up with it or not.
Some will say, "Guard your heart with this one" but my advice is to ALWAYS guard your heart with every person. If she isn't calling you then who knows what the reason is.
Keep pursuing and have fun. If she is into something else then get over it asap and move on with life. Mazel tov!
 

Allurre

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You need to put the ball in your court now.

What you need to do is reverse the tables, standards of the social dynamics between you two.

Wait not just 1.5, days, but 5. Get her concerned about what's happening, and if she doesn't even attempt to contact you, it just shows how 'serious' she is with you.

You could just be in for a casual get together, you never know.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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