ts2022 said:
Isnt there anything i can do to make it work??
because i really want it to....
There is a whole world of things you can do, however, are you ready to a date a girl that you've placed up on a pedastool? I don't know.
You know how to be yourself don't you? (I mean, when nobody else is around, you are comfortable with yourself, right?)
For this girl, I want to suggest that the next time you see her you ask her out. DECIDE that right away, right now. That when you see her you are GOING to ask her out if you have to punch yourself in the back of the head the whole to get yourself to move towards her. Comn man, asking her out isn't so bad. It's so quick and even if you are rejected, it's not as painful as regret. IT'S NOT AS PAINFUL AS REGRET FOR NEVER ASKING. Think about that.
THE VERY NEXT TIME YOU SEE HER. Don't wait. Dont hesitate. I don't care if she is with 8 people or if she is alone. DECIDE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO ASK HER OUT THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE HER. You've got to really make that decision to, and get it inside of you. If you have to repeat it for an hour to yourself to internalize it. THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE HER YOU ARE GOING TO ASK HER OUT.
Now, how should the actual asking her out go? Well, you need to have the basics of that worked out in your head as well. Here's a few pointers for you:
1. First of all I use the word "ask" loosely. I wouldn't say something like "Do you want to go out with me?" I wouldn't phrase it as a question, but as a statement. Instead, TELL HER what you are going to do and invite her to join you. For instance,
"Hey, I'm going "x" on Saturday night, and I think you should come." Don't give her the option of just saying no.
2. Make sure you are picking some kind of action date. There are TONS of things you can do besides dinner, movies, or "coffee" (although caffeine has been found to make a GIRL hornier--Google it--so you might want to end up in a coffee house or something lol). You can take her roller skating, to the park for a stroll (make a picnic basket and throw in a bottle of cheap wine) and sit out under the stars, you can go biking, swimming, fishing, WHATEVER! The more different the date is, and the more active you make it, the more fun she'll have. Underneath that rockin' body is just a little girl who wants to have FUN. Remember that song by Cindy Lauper? "Girls just wanna have fun!" It's true, so think outside the box and do something FUN. Hell, take her to the arcade. Take her dancing. Take her horseback riding. You can mix a few of those together too. Like you can start out with a stroll through the park, stop and eat out of your picnic basket, and then take her and play some basketball. Then, at the end of the night you can take her to the coffee house and from there you can see where it goes.
3. Don't let her rattle you! Girls (especially pretty girls) have a wave of tests they put you through. And the idea is that you are GOING TO BE YOURSELF AT ALL COSTS. Don't put up a front. Don't be fake. BE YOURSELF and don't be afraid to disagree with her (you don't have to be rude, you can disagree in a polite way), but don't just blindly agree with everything she says. If you don't like something she says, CALL HER ON IT! (Remember to do it in a polite, but firm, kind of way--in fact, sometimes it's good to do it in a funny way--but make sure she knows you are being serious as well)
As for the rest, I've written an article on my website that might help you in the long term. Read over it and start applying it to your life. It's very simple, very basic steps to get you moving towards more self-confidence:
http://soulsasylum.com/soulsasylum/relationships/insecurity/
