BootsOfEscaping
Don Juan
She is the only one on the lease. No way can I stay longer than I already have. She wants me to move and so do I.
Don Juanabbe, clean out your mailbox!
Don Juanabbe, clean out your mailbox!
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Need some help with this situation->
- Thread starter BootsOfEscaping
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
Boots, you're constantly making excuses for her. You're also having sex with her still.
You're just making it harder on yourself so that when it really does come time to leave, you will be a really sad sap.
It's like when someone you know dies, it doesn't hit you right away until the reality sinks in, and then that's where the pain kicks in ten fold.
You're just making it harder on yourself so that when it really does come time to leave, you will be a really sad sap.
It's like when someone you know dies, it doesn't hit you right away until the reality sinks in, and then that's where the pain kicks in ten fold.
NewMan
Master Don Juan
I feel ya.
I left got my own apartment.
That first night I had nothing.
A tv. Phone. and a sleeping bag.
No pot's and pans.
No sofa or chair.
No computer.
My phone line wasn't hooked up the first week, nor was my cable. I didn't even have a lamp to read at night.
That was the lowest point in my life.
Living in a STUDIO apartment, in my 30's with nothing to my name except a truck, tv and sleeping bag.
It's funny, because my ex just IM'd me - wanting to know how I am...
Fvck that. Fvck being nice - and fvck being friends.
Don't give her the pleasure of thinking you will be "There for her"....
cut it off and don't look back.
I left got my own apartment.
That first night I had nothing.
A tv. Phone. and a sleeping bag.
No pot's and pans.
No sofa or chair.
No computer.
My phone line wasn't hooked up the first week, nor was my cable. I didn't even have a lamp to read at night.
That was the lowest point in my life.
Living in a STUDIO apartment, in my 30's with nothing to my name except a truck, tv and sleeping bag.
It's funny, because my ex just IM'd me - wanting to know how I am...
Fvck that. Fvck being nice - and fvck being friends.
Don't give her the pleasure of thinking you will be "There for her"....
cut it off and don't look back.
BootsOfEscaping
Don Juan
Hey, at least you had a truck! I don't even have a car right now. I sold mine awhile ago and need a new one.
I am ok with this now, as ok as I can be. I have been through this before. I will meet new girls, I will survive. I am going to just be normal until I leave, I have had enough drama. She isn't trying to do anything to me now except be nice while I am still here as I requested. She stopped arguing and being *****y about it and I refuse to argue about it myself. She can sit here in her empty apartment all by herself with no friends and no tv while I move to florida and have a good time. Its fine with me now. Even if she has someone already it seems like although I am having to start over, she isn't much furthur along than I am. Sometimes people have to make drastic changes in their lives and I guess this is one of those times.
I don't wish her ill will as she really is or at least was a good decent person at heart and we shared a lot of time together but its now up to me to make a new life for myself. I know I can do it. I will look back on this and laugh in time.
Like someone else said, its just life. Deal with it right?!
I am ok with this now, as ok as I can be. I have been through this before. I will meet new girls, I will survive. I am going to just be normal until I leave, I have had enough drama. She isn't trying to do anything to me now except be nice while I am still here as I requested. She stopped arguing and being *****y about it and I refuse to argue about it myself. She can sit here in her empty apartment all by herself with no friends and no tv while I move to florida and have a good time. Its fine with me now. Even if she has someone already it seems like although I am having to start over, she isn't much furthur along than I am. Sometimes people have to make drastic changes in their lives and I guess this is one of those times.
I don't wish her ill will as she really is or at least was a good decent person at heart and we shared a lot of time together but its now up to me to make a new life for myself. I know I can do it. I will look back on this and laugh in time.
Like someone else said, its just life. Deal with it right?!
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
- Messages
- 11,680
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- 4,874
I had two lowest parts in my life. The first one was living with my ex's dad. I kept everything in a small bedroom with me. Boxes were piled high to the ceiling. I crammed my dresser, tv, stereo, cats, litter box, and my computer into that tiny little room. I had to deal with my ex coming over and telling her dad (right outside my room) about the latest guy she's been fvcking.
I was in my glory the day I finished moving out. She was visiting and says "When are you moving?" I said "Today" and walked right past her with the rest of my 5hit.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
BootsOfEscaping
Don Juan
That is pretty rough. Worse than this I suspect. We are ok with each now as far as, we are getting along just fine, she just says she isn't "in love" anymore. So whatever, I will be on my way.
I am getting everything arranged now. I need to get some boxes to pack, maybe I will order some online. My friend said I can link into his broadband hub at his place so I can still use my computer. That is cool, it will make finding a new job easier.
I am getting everything arranged now. I need to get some boxes to pack, maybe I will order some online. My friend said I can link into his broadband hub at his place so I can still use my computer. That is cool, it will make finding a new job easier.
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
I've been thru it three times. Yeah, coming back to an empty apartment wasn't kewl. Try adding a newborn to the equation.
You're still having sex with her tho Dawg. I don't know how you can talk this way and still be doing that. One way completely contradicts the other.
You're still having sex with her tho Dawg. I don't know how you can talk this way and still be doing that. One way completely contradicts the other.
NewMan
Master Don Juan
What is done is done.
We've all been through it and moved on.
The only thing that you should think about is what lies ahead in Florida.
I would caution against being to nice to her though.
She's not your Gf anymore.
Don't be a symph with her, because you will look back and regret it in the future.
She will contact you after all of this is over - don't cave when she does this. Stick to your guns and be the man.
We've all been through it and moved on.
The only thing that you should think about is what lies ahead in Florida.
I would caution against being to nice to her though.
She's not your Gf anymore.
Don't be a symph with her, because you will look back and regret it in the future.
She will contact you after all of this is over - don't cave when she does this. Stick to your guns and be the man.
BootsOfEscaping
Don Juan
I simply have a hard time turning down a *******. 
Doesn't matter how I feel, the wheels are in motion, I am out next tuesday!
Doesn't matter how I feel, the wheels are in motion, I am out next tuesday!
Disconnect
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2004
- Messages
- 524
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- 38
Hey, Boots! I have by no means experiences what you have, but I am wishing you good luck. It really sounds like the highest point in your life is about to begin . Good luck and have fun!
. Good luck and have fun!"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
I don't blame you for still wanting the sex, i did the same thing. It just makes it more complicated. You know you're shaing her with another guy now, right? She sleeps naked and didn't bring anything to sleep at the other place and stayed there all night, didn't get home till afternoon - so obvious like you say.
You're appeasing her by having sex. If you have to do hit, treat her like the slut she is being right now. Slap her around a little get physical during sex (not to the point of hurting her), but letting her know who da man is.
She'll probably say - "That's hit, that was what was missing from our relationship, you treating me like the pig that i am in bed". LOL, you gotta laugh a little about these things, because if you don't, it might just kill ya.
You're appeasing her by having sex. If you have to do hit, treat her like the slut she is being right now. Slap her around a little get physical during sex (not to the point of hurting her), but letting her know who da man is.
She'll probably say - "That's hit, that was what was missing from our relationship, you treating me like the pig that i am in bed". LOL, you gotta laugh a little about these things, because if you don't, it might just kill ya.
BootsOfEscaping
Don Juan
Man, I am getting stressed out trying to get everything arranged during the few hours she isn't here and still at work. I got quite upset last night but hid it from her. I still have some more packing and whatnot to do. I am leaving the day after valentines. How sweet and romantic.
Why do they do that?
Broke up with my ex almost two months ago. When we last talked about six weeks ago, I mentioned it was better if we didn't talk anymore. So, I didn't write or call her again. Then, four weeks later, she sends me a one line e-mail..."How are you?" WTF? I knew if I replied she wouldn't reply back to me...but I sent a one line sentence response just to see what would happen anyway. As I suspected...no response.
I think it's a little game...they get pissed at you not talking or chasing after them anymore, so they get you to respond so that they can ignore you in return.