"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Need some help on this one

Malador

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So basically my roommate studies with this girl in one of his classes who I am think is pretty attractive, but I've never said anything or acted on it. Being in the room I get to hear her talk about all her boy **** to my roommate since he is "like one of her girlfriends", and I usually keep quiet because thats the last thing I want to be.

Well we had a party and she came, we both drank, ended up kissing quite a bit in our drunkenness, probably would have done more but circumstances didn't permit, didn't have a room to go to ect. Anyway, after she left we texted a bit (both still drunk) and she was definitely interested, and then I went to sleep.

Woke up to a friend request on FB and a photo comment about how me and my roomie make a good couple, obviously a joke. No texts at all today from either side. She definitely seems to take pride in getting guys and hooking them and **** so I'm pretty wary about that. She is used to basically having the guys she talks to in the palm of her hand.

Basically, I know if I start texting her I'm just another follower... When should I contact her, should I bother at all? She is already talking to another guy, not officially, but that didn't stop her last night.

What do you guys think?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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JDA70

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I don't text so I don't know how that works.
Don't you have her number that you can call
and talk to her on the phone and ask her out?
 

Deadly_Ripped

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If she's not interested in anything but your unrequited attention, then you save yourself a lot of trouble by not contact her unless she contacts you.

If she is interested in you, and she's used to guys chasing her, then she'll have no qualms about calling you up or texting you first.

Similar story to share: my roommate was trying to do this girl. I met her twice and left an impression but didn't get digits or anything because I knew my roommate was still trying for it. One of her roommates invited me to a party the day after he told me that he wasn't trying anymore, and the girl invites me to sleep in her bed that night.

Long story short, it's over a month later and we're seeing each other pretty often, and I still don't text or call her first. She initiated number exchange, she made the first phone calls and texts, and she's the one escalating the face time we have.

It drove me crazy not to call or text her... but it was TOTALLY worth it. And if she hadn't contacted me, then I'd know that our first hookup was nothing but a hookup.
 

Malador

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Update, she just IMed me on FB and from it I am 100% sure she's interested. She definitely let me know she's exploring "options" right now and finding what's right for her. Essentially, she is the girl version of a player. I asked her how many guys shes talking to and she said "Right now?" implying that she was talking to several guys at once on FB or texting or whatever while she was talking to me. She then said "I'm responding to you first."

Rofl... so basically I guess I could get some more if I want to but prolly just about impossible to lock her in completely because she's all about talking to multiple guys at once. I don't really want to get emotionally invested in it and I think I might because I'm pretty attracted to her and like her personality but it seems like she's not looking for that whatsoever. I think my plan is to just back off and let her do the chasing if she so chooses, if not then its prolly not worth my time.
 

legolas

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So what do you want to do? "Lock her in" as your gf? If she's exploring options and you don't want a gf (I wouldn't want a girl who's exploring options to be my gf) then the only thing left to do is be fvck buddies or friends with benefits. Either way, do the opposite of what all the others are doing and let her come to you. If she's a player, her brain will be fried when you don't comply like the others.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Malador

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In a perfect world I could get her to drop it all and lock her in as a gf. However, realistically I think she is going to keep exploring options and just wants me to be one of those options. I'm not really down for sloppy seconds and I might get attached if I get in any deeper mainly because I'm so attracted to her. If I did lock her in I don't even know if I could trust her because none of her other options even know she's talking to other dudes. I know that I probably shouldn't even bother but that slight chance of success is holding me from just dropping it altogether. I think my best bet is just to let things go and see what happens. Other opinions are appreciated though, because I kinda dunno what to do on this one.
 
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