"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Need some help formulating a plan

BadsnakeUK

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To give you some background, this is about a girl on my course who's one of the few potential LTRs I've met recently. On looks alone she's a good 7 but a really good laugh and not mental (for a change). We get on well and have that 'bouncing off each other' rapport going on. Overall, as a package deal I'd say about a 9.

Obviously she has a bf, but she's just moved to my city and there's now about an hour's drive between them. She says at the moment its OK and she doesn't feel any different or like its a problem but will be seeing a lot less of him. They have a history of breaking up etc - haven't had the full details but it sounds like things could be a bit rocky. She also doesn't know the city that well so is looking for friends/people to show her around :cool: .

I'm planning on dating her at some point but as I'm after possible LTR, not just a ONS I feel it will be better to get bf out of the picture completely. I've got a rough road map for where to go with this but wondering if anyone can see any flaws/improvements to be made in my evil plan. The biggest trap I'm trying to avoid here is getting into the friends zone while in the process of edging bf out of the frame and showing her what she's missing out on. My plan is roughly as follows:-

1. Show her a good time and the places to be in the city. Also let her see how cool life is around me (playing in bands, out a lot etc)
2. Show her I'm a sexual man by being interested in women and having women interested in me
3. Give her some flashes of my nice, romantic side so she'll start to think she can 'bring out something other people don't see' or some crap like that. (Why do they always want to bring out your nice guy AFC side?)
4. Not being overly available and keeping some mystery (she's only living up the road from me so will need to be strict about this - then again I'm out doing stuff most nights anyway)
5. Not listening to any bs about bf and their 'problems' or becoming an emotional tampon
6. A little banter, bordering on C&F
7. Doing stuff that might or might not be construed as 'date stuff' so she gets comfortable with the idea
8. Very slow increase in kino as I get to know her better

I know a lot of it is standard game but guess I'll have to work on the calibration and getting the balance right for this particular situation.

Any other tips for edging bf out or speeding up their inevitable breakup? Have had a lot of ONS with attached/married women but not got much experience at this side of things.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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BadsnakeUK

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Anyone?
 

Max Power

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BadsnakeUK said:
I'm planning on dating her at some point but as I'm after possible LTR, not just a ONS I feel it will be better to get bf out of the picture completely..
Here's one of your problems. You're looking for an LTR and haven't even had a date.

BadsnakeUK said:
1. Show her a good time and the places to be in the city.
..
You're not a tour guide here and you're putting her on a pedastal. You're job is not to entertain this woman.

BadsnakeUK said:
5. Not listening to any bs about bf and their 'problems' or becoming an emotional tampon..
That's good.

BadsnakeUKAny other tips for edging bf out or speeding up their inevitable breakup? Have had a lot of ONS with attached/married women but not got much experience at this side of things.[/QUOTE said:
Just go for it hard. Don't worry about the boyfriend. Be the branch she will swing to. You're right that there's a delicate balance in that if you take it slowly she could Friendzone you. I'd go hard and fast. If she rejects you then big deal.
 

BadsnakeUK

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Thanks Max. Makes sense.

I'm not specifically looking for a LTR with this girl (or any one in particular) - just that from what I know of her there could be potential for that i.e. she's not (obviously) insane, LSE, she seems to like a laugh etc.

Will bear your point about pedestalling her though and be sure to have some other plates spinning (don't often get AFC these days but its always wise to take precautions!)

I see your point about being a tour guide. I think what I meant was being someone who takes her out and shows her a good time - makes me look good for knowing the cool places to be but also she associates me with having fun and a generally good life that she could be part of.

Yeah will probably go hard and fast but need to be a little careful as I'm getting a bit of a reputation on my course - never hurts to have one normally but the politics could start getting a bit dodgy!

Cheers for the advice - will keep you posted!
 
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