Need some feedback on a dance floor rejection last weekend.

[DJ Shaka]

So last Saturday was my first attempt at cold approaching in a bar.

I want to get over approach anxiety, so I chose a bar which is basically a big dance floor, and music is extremely loud (you have to talk in their ears or else they can't listen). This way I could just go up to some girls, say hello and start dancing. If they reject me then I can go to another group, and so on.

Remember I'm just a beginner.

I'm looking forward for specific advice from people who have experience with these kind of bars (with very loud music and dancing).

Anyway, so I go to the club and I see 3 girls in the middle of the dance floor, totally open to be approached. 2 of them were ugly, but 1 of them was cute (HB7).

So I go up to them in a friendly manner and say "Hello!" with a big smile. They responded me back with a "Hi!" and I shaked their hands.

Then I said "do you girls mind if I dance with you" and one of them said "not at all! there's room for everyone here!".

So far so good. I didn't come off as a creepy guy or anything.

So I started dancing with them, and some guy approached one of them and starting dancing with her. So I was left dancing with 2. Somehow then all of a sudden I ended up dancing alone with the cute one.

At this point I didn't know exactly what to say or do, so I complimented on her nose piercing. It looked like she was having a good time, smiling and everything.

Then I decided to grab her hand, and made her spin a couple of times. I have little experience in dancing. Then I decided to get a little bit closer and slowly start grinding on her. Here is when I noticed that she was uncomfortable and starting signaling her friend to come rescue her.

Her friend came directly to her and starting dancing with her, and I was pushed away. I say "good bye" with a smile and left.

Now, I know that it was my fault. I know that I failed at creating attraction. But I am completely clueless to what I did wrong. I am totally unaware of my mistake.

I need some feedback here, or some tips of how to approach at these dance clubs.

Thanks in advance

 

[Solomon]

Dude you are over-anaylsing

You did fine in my book

But next time don't ask to dance, this is what I would have done.

I would have came in the set dancing already, and got in the middle of all 3, be more alpha in your approach not beta

peace

 

[slickaz]

Solomon is right but after getting into the group when you were alone with her, try to increase interest from her.

theres tons of stuff here on dance floor game. read up.
be bolder when you're alone with her and say something more interesting than a compliment. anything that will get a response from her using which you can then ask her more questions.
i know its a loud club BUT the best part about that is, if you have to ask her a question, you will need to get close to her face, which is even better for you because getting just the right distance from her face, neck and ears will set off tingle sensations for her, static fields for you etc.

anyway, what im saying essentially is
when you approach, in your mind, make sure she doesnt even know she's being approached. as in talk about stuff that will take her mind away from the fact that she is standing in a club with a stranger and her friends have left.
girls find it very awkward when they're left standing with a stranger whose trying to grind them after saying "hi, nice earrings, lets grind". you get it?

also some girls will do it on purpose for brag rights. where if the guy is dancing with them they'll try to reject you infront of their friends.

so you're priority, more so than giving her compliments and spinning her around is to arouse interest AND take her attention away from the fact that you're hitting on her.

if you dont get her talking about herself, conciously she is thinking this guy is hitting on me and i dont wanna talk to him.
but if you strike up convo that gets her mind thinking about what she's saying, and smiling and laughing about, then she's not really thinking about the physical moves you're making but subconsiously she's thinking this guy is hitting on me and she's happy so she'll continue with it.

atleast thats worked for me.

when i do it: i go in with a mindset thats basically to make her as relaxed as possible by being myself. within reason im a lil ****y and funny but through it all my eye contact is going from looking at her to looking around the room etc this way she's not feeling like ive put her on the spotlight with nothing to say. so i ask her a question, im listenin to her while i look around the club etc. quickly look back smiling and continue on what she said.. she knows now that im not totally hitting on her but im cool to talk to plus she has to work for my attention. all are very beneficial for when im busy matching her hair color to my bed sheets.

good luck. i hope i made sense

 

[DJ Shaka]

slickaz excellent advice!!!

That was the exact type of reply I was looking for when I made this thread.

Thank you very much!

You too Solomon, thanks bro.

More input from other people would be greatly appreciated.