Need some encouragement guys...

[Konada]

Been a total wreck this couple of months, seems like everything comes down to crash on me all at once. Lost 40 grand in investments, lost my business, been constantly rejected by women. Lost all my motivation to do anything (working out, studying) and I find it hard to pick myself up after being battered constantly by setbacks time and time again. I really fear I might end up in depression and off myself some day in the near future...

Just a rant because my parents have issues listening and rather impose their own ideas unto me...

 

[Bible_Belt]

How does a 21 y/o get $40k to lose in the first place?

 

[The_flying_dutchman]

In your current state, lifting might be difficult to do because you won't have the mental energy for it at the moment.

I recommend doing light cardio to get the blood pumping and flowing and energize you. It doesn't have to be intense cardio like HIIT, I think just some brisk walking in the park would do tremendous good.

 

[Konada]

I busted my ankle pretty bad from fencing so cardio/running is out of the question.

 

[The_flying_dutchman]

I busted my ankle pretty bad from fencing so cardio/running is out of the question.

Damn, bruh, I guess you weren't joking.....sh!t really is coming at you from all angles....

.... my father once told me that setbacks are unavoidable and happens to everyone and that a man is measured by how well he handles setbacks....

..... I still think at the moment cardio would be your best bet to get back in the game (mentally) as fast as possible... does your injury prevent you from swimming? Swimming is pretty d@mn good cardio as well...


...

 

[Konada]

I've tried working out on solely my upper body but I never get the same pumped feeling I get from a good leg workout. Gonna tryout swimming then.

 

[Tenacity]

Been a total wreck this couple of months, seems like everything comes down to crash on me all at once. Lost 40 grand in investments, lost my business, been constantly rejected by women. Lost all my motivation to do anything (working out, studying) and I find it hard to pick myself up after being battered constantly by setbacks time and time again. I really fear I might end up in depression and off myself some day in the near future...

Just a rant because my parents have issues listening and rather impose their own ideas unto me...

- How did you lose $40k?

- How did you lose your business and what business was it?

Let's start there, the women stuff is easy to fix, it's the financial things that are the top priority and involve the most energy.

 

[Konada]

- How did you lose $40k?
I got screwed out of my money by a 'friend' who was part of a network marketing company. This was a huge blow to me not only because of money but because I placed a lot of trust in this guy which I already knew for over 10 years. I seeked legal advice but lawyer told me most likely I won't be able to get my money back.

- How did you lose your business and what business was it?

Was running a small F&B outlet with another guy where I met at a networking event. Quit the business because he wasn't pulling his weight. started to do shady stuff behind my back and because the business was making huge losses.

Let's start there, the women stuff is easy to fix, it's the financial things that are the top priority and involve the most energy.

More on my current situation:

- I'm studying Business Management in University now as a Year 1 Student
- Live at home with my parents
- Have about 3.3k savings left in my bank

I started this business when I was waiting for school to start, it took about 8 months (I spent most of my time on this) for things to get into smooth running before shvt hit the fan after I started uni.

I had planned earlier to take a break from all this BS and focus on my energies on fencing. Apparently I'm not doing too well in that department as well. My whole life is in shambles now and adding on to the fact that I'm being constantly rejected by women is too much for me to take. Much like the straw that broke the camel's back.

I know the right thing to do is to pick myself up and move the fvck on with life but whenever I tell myself this I feel that emptiness and lack of motivation in pursuing what I want. Its as though whatever I do never goes my way for long and I'm sick of that.

 

[FearlessEngineer]

Come on man! You're only 21 years old! Life is still ahead of you. Focus on studying (getting your degree), doing some other activities and believe me everything will be better.

I respect the fact that you had the courage to start a business at age 21, you should know that this is tremendous.

Life isn't meant to be easy. You want to be the guy that had it all worked out easily, or the guy that succeeded against all odds?

Remember that every failure brings you closer to success.

Good luck buddy (From a currently broke student )

 

[miketan70]

We all have our good and bad times. You have to be aware though, advices are not the ones that will motivate you or make you do some changes. ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT, you have to control your emotions and everything and make sure you are strong enough to overcome everything. Do that to yourself as a chalange. Step out at front of a mirror and tell to yourself:"I am better than that, and I will find a way out of this situation". Do you know how many worse situations out there are? Be happy yours is not one of them.

 

[Konada]

Well, just had a nervous breakdown. All it took was my younger sister to call me 'a fvcking failure of a man'. Fvck everyone, its me against the world. Even people you call family can be fvcking disgusting, just shows how fvcked up our world is.

 

[The_flying_dutchman]

Well, just had a nervous breakdown. All it took was my younger sister to call me 'a fvcking failure of a man'. Fvck everyone, its me against the world. Even people you call family can be fvcking disgusting, just shows how fvcked up our world is.

You're young and you've got a lot of time and a lot of learning ahead of you, and let me tell that ALL men go through this phase at least once in their life...


... some guys go through this phase in their 30's in the form of a brutal divorce. Some guys go through this in their 40's in the form of a mid-life crisis. Some guys go through this in their 50's/60's in the form of battling cancer or disease or old age.... but bottom line is that all men go through this...

...how does a boy become a man unless he's been tested by fire?

You just have to find the will in yourself to pick yourself up and push on.

 

[Rave18]

Endure!

 

[synergy1]

Women's opinions about masculinity are not important.

To add to this, their opinions about regarding hard work are generally worthless since most do not appreciate it. To hear a women even suggest that they know anything about walking in our shoes is laughable. Ignore them.

To get back on your feet will probably take going in a new direction. I don't know if that entails a new location, new college, new business idea or what have you. What you did previously didn't work out, and that happens to the best of us. Even the great warran buffet made a huge miscalculation in his time with Berkshire Hathaway that resulted in him reinventing his investment approach by adopting new ideas (Phil Fisher), and letting go of old ones ( his old mentor, friend, Ben Graham). When **** hits you, its about how well you can preserver through it , and know that anyone who you see as successful has been really good at this part of it.

What do you think you will do next? You are only 21, and you have a lot of time to get back on your feet. What would you change about your last experience?

 

[Konada]

What do you think you will do next? You are only 21, and you have a lot of time to get back on your feet. What would you change about your last experience?

In hindsight, I could have done alot better in screening my business partner. Not sure what I could do in this case because the red flags only started to appear when the business was gaining decent momentum...

Also, trust and being a long-term friend have very little correlation. In the end, I think trust and critical evaluation of the investment are both paramount but in this case I had placed too much trust in the friendship and was left fvcked over. I was too naive in both cases to buy into their enthusiasm readily and need to look at things from a more objective point of view. The investment project had been drawing some flak from people on forums but I chose to believe otherwise instead...my thinking at that time was 'If its drawing hate it must be doing something right.' rather than 'If it's too good to be true it probably ain't.'

Summer break is coming up and I plan to learn about stock trading. Following the 80/20 principle (20% groundwork for 80% results), I'm probably going to look at the most successful investors and pick out commonalities that allowed them to skyrocket their funds.

 

[SteR]

Lol man, you're 21! The fact that you've already tried to start up a business puts you way ahead of your peers. Objectively speaking, who cares if it fails at this age? You're still young enough to recover. Besides, what's that saying about how we only learn from our failures, not our successes.

Don't worry about the fitness. We all get injured from time to time and you just have to sit back and let your body heal up. You'll be good to go in no time.

Honestly man, you'll be okay.

 

[Konada]

Well apparently it gets worse. I got kicked out of my own circle of bros for saying something incredibly dumb and mostly my fault I apologized for being a total idiot but I highly doubt they will let me in again. I guess even the guy who is climbing out of social awkwardness has his moments, pity that mistakes like these end up burning the only good relationships I have. I have no one to blame than myself.

Guys, I'm officially left with nothing. No friends, no emotional support network. Seems like at 22 I'm building my life from scratch again. It hurts, it fvcking hurts that everything good I have I manage to fvck it up somehow. Perhaps I'm not all to blame for however people react to my behavior, but the common denominator is me and I can't help but feel the only person I can blame is myself.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If they're done with you because you said one wrong thing, then they were never that great of friends anyway.