"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Need some advise please.

T

TYH

Don Juan
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I'm dating this girl and she has been acting hot and cold towards me the last two weeks. I have decided to start going mildly NC over the weekend, and I think it's catching her attention. (e.g. I flaked on a movie date and spent Sunday having my own adventure. She left a comment on FB saying she's slightly envious of my fun Sunday.) I'm wondering how long I should keep up this minimal attention.

The other thing is, there are plenty of guys around interested in her. My major/class has a very high male:female ratio, and they're all waiting to swoop in. I'm not exactly the best looking guy, or the most social guy, or the tallest guy. (I am, however, the most valuable guy. That much I know, but not sure if I've demonstrated that sufficiently.)

One final thing, her birthday is on Friday, and there's a huge major/class event/bbq party thing going on. I'm attending but it'd be hard to get alone time--she's one of the hosts. In any case, should I keep up NC with her until past her birthday? And should I get her a present? (We've been dating for a month, but it's very casual and not exactly "official.")

btw. First post... Been a lurker for a while.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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I

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
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I always believe that mixed signals are negative signals. Any relationship I've had, long-term or short-term, there was no hot-and-cold stuff.

Anyway, how long have you been dating this girl? And this is a sexual relationship, right? Sorry to ask, but a lot of guys will go out with a girl 2-3 times, kiss on the cheek, and call it "dating". Just want to make sure we're talking about grownup dating and not imaginary dating.

The other thing is, there are plenty of guys around interested in her. My major/class has a very high male:female ratio, and they're all waiting to swoop in. I'm not exactly the best looking guy, or the most social guy, or the tallest guy. (I am, however, the most valuable guy. That much I know, but not sure if I've demonstrated that sufficiently.)
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Why are you worried about how many guys are around her? She's the one who has chose to date you. No matter who you date, there will always be other men in the world. No point in worrying about them. Either the girl wants you or she doesn't.
 
T

TYH

Don Juan
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Made out a few times. Grope, finger... etc. etc. Fairly sexual, but no sex yet. Dating for about a month.

Why are you worried about how many guys are around her? She's the one who has chose to date you. No matter who you date, there will always be other men in the world. No point in worrying about them. Either the girl wants you or she doesn't.
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This is totally true. You're right about that.

Any relationship I've had, long-term or short-term, there was no hot-and-cold stuff.
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That's a good point. I can see the warning flags, and I'm ready to exit if need be.
 
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