"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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need some advice

Fabrizio

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well there is this girl i liked, and well lets just say it didnt work out with her, and when i was trying to hook up with her and stuff, i actually started to like her friend

well now i am more interested in her friend, but talking to her would kinda make me and her feel salty, cause she will think that i am just trying to get with her cause i didnt pull it off with the her friend, like she was second choice

any advice on what to do
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Climax

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what to do...

Fabrizio:

when i was trying to hook up with her and stuff, i actually started to like her friend

You see those words? Now look:

YOU to HER :

(While in a casual conversation about who u like/who she likes etc)

You: You know (her name)... While i was trying to hook up with (the other girls name) and stuff I kinda realised that i was actually falling for you.

Her: *suprised* oh? woah.. i never expected that...

You: Ya well... its true, and i just had to tell you, i couldt keep in in any longer

At this point this girl is probably gonna feel good and special, and did i mention overjoyed? (But this only applies if she is interested in YOU on some level, which you SHOULD be able to tell before even trying to do all of the above with her)

Now after that you make arrangements with her, get romantic with her, and there you go.

Goodluck.;)
 

LikRetsam

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I disagree with the above poster. I think you are done with these two chicks for some time now.
 

Climax

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Originally posted by LikRetsam
I disagree with the above poster. I think you are done with these two chicks for some time now.
I have been in the same situation before, just that the girl that i liked i was GOING OUT with, and thenn i broke up with her, and moved on to her friend telling her that the reason that i broke up with her friend was because of her, and that i liked HER and not her friend which i was originally going out with...Judging by how she responded (she said to me " ell are you gonna ask me out now") I'm guessing that if Fabrizio does what i suggested he will get a possitive reply... i cannot garantee anything, but all i can say is that its the best go that he has.

LikRetsam: Instead of just "being done: with these girls, why not give it a go? he has NOTHING to loose
:rolleyes:

Laterz...
 

LikRetsam

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The difference is you succeeded.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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clarinch

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I'm going to have to put my pockets worth on this one, better than starting a new thread, after all. You might get something out of it, Ill need a little affirmation though heh.

My advice to you is to go with it. You didnt mention any real baggage to speak of, it seems more like the principal of rebounding to her friend is what concerns you. I'll tell you not to worry about that, I would hate to bring up such an old additive, but all is fair in love and war. If you want it, go for it - and don't let anything stop you (with the exeption of the law, and you know, common sence). In any case, here is my similar story, take what you can from it.

I fell for a girl, and it was a shaky and uneasy attraction that tore me up day and night, and I actually turned to her friend for advice on what to do. I had known this friend before I had fallen for the original girl, but for reasons filed under what I thought to be hopeless, I didn't bother trying.

Anyway. When my little crush didnt work out, it did turn very sour, I completely stopped all comunication with the girl, deleted her phone number, pictures, and stopped reading her blogs. (Which, helped greatly, I will say) However, I was still talking her her friend, not so much as I would a close friend, but more along the lines of an aquaintance.

Well, some friendly gatherings, some group outings, ect, and some very casual online talking actually had her falling for me. The strange thing about this whole position is that she, and the girl I did have an interest in before, are complete opposites. The girl before was rather permiscuous, spoiled, young, and well... stupid. The new intererest, however, is an upstanding, christian, intelligent young woman who actually has many of the same values as I do, and it has sickened me to know that I had actually lowered my standards for a girl that wasn't worth any of my time while a girl in any other situation I would have considered perfect was sitting right there.

I will have to ask this forum, in its great amount of expertise on such matters, what any of your opinions would be? I do like this girl, I certainly do see us being able to work, however, she is best friends with the previous girl, whom I ultimately dispise as a human being. As you can imagine, it is rather awkward. On a final note, I am 19, the new, current lady interest is 16, almost 17. If that age bracket matters, then tell me, because as far as I am concerned, she is very mature for her age, in comparison to some others.
 

Climax

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If i did it, so can he! He has NOTHING to loose!

Originally posted by LikRetsam
The difference is you succeeded.
And what makes you think that he WONT succeed? :confused:
 

Climax

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its YOUR life, YOUR choice, dont let anyone CONTROL you!

clarinch: DONT LET ANYONE STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU WANT!!..... You like this "friend", then go for it, heed your own advise.. its YOUR life, dont let ANYONE make u unable to do what you want to do... When u see this "friend" of this chick that u disslike u dont have to see her WITH the other girl that u disslike, and maybe in the future u and this girl that u disslike will come to becoming friendly again.

Lots of girls have that unwritten law that they dont go for eachothers ex's, but if thats not an issue for her, then go for it, its YOUR life, do what YOU want to do!;)

Laterz....
 

LikRetsam

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I mean you succeeded the first time. He did not.
 

Climax

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Are you TRYING to confuse me?

Originally posted by LikRetsam
I mean you succeeded the first time. He did not.
Well that shouldnt affect his situation now where he wants to get with her freind, just like i did... If he succeeded the 1st time or not should not make a difference to his current situation.. or am i missing something here?

And you still havnt answered my question.... What does he have to loose?

Laterz...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Fabrizio

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an array of contradicting advice, but all seems to help in a way or another. i'm just gonna go for it, if i pull it off, great, if not oh well, atleast i tried. that was my mentality with the original girl lets call her "briana". its just that if i go with the friend lets call her "karen", whenever i am with her, and briana is present, it will make me feel weird. like her briana knows she was my first choice, and karen will know i wanted briana originally
you know what i mean

but oh whatever, i'm going for it
theres only one way about it
 

Climax

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Making her feel special - YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE!

Fabrizio said:

it will make me feel weird. like her briana knows she was my first choice, and karen will know i wanted briana originally
This is why you need to make Karen feel special and drill it into her head that even though you were with Briana 1st, u fel for her and you started to like Karen MORE than u liked Briana, and then u can go on and say to her that you are kinda happy that you and Briana broke up because then that means that you are able to be with Karen, and that she is the one that you REALLY want to be with... <--- You see how u are making her feel special? this will take that thought of hers of " i'm 2nd choice" away and make her feel good and special. And if you think that it will be arkward to go out with Karen while Briana is around, then try and avoid doing things where both Briana AND Karen are involved. I'm sure Karen has other friends, and i'm sure that you also have other friends, so you dont have to do things with Karen when she is it Briana, its as simple as that. And above all... u have nothing to loose out of all of this, so go for it... And Goodluck;)

Laterz...
 

LikRetsam

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Re: Are you TRYING to confuse me?

Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
And you still havnt answered my question.... What does he have to loose?
The opportunity to come back at a more appropriate time.
 

Mr. Debonaire

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Clarinch, although you did definately hijack this thread, i think you should just try to hang out with the "new" girl. but NEVER, NEVER in the presence of the old one. she will just mess up anything you might have going with the new chick

fabrizio, i think nexting both girls is probably in your best interest, but since you have nothing to lose by trying, go for it

and aequitas and Lik, lets not fight anymore :p
 
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