Need some advice

[Alexisme91]

Hello.
As I've stated in my last post, I'm 15 so I don't focus that much on girls. However when I do feel like talking to them I can't start the convo or make myself noticed. I am able to keep it going though. So I'm asking for some advice other than do it more( which I know is the best) and some examples.
A big thank you to anyone that throws in some thoughts.

 

[Serenity]

How do people start a conversation really? It's a question very few people have a good answer to, yet we all do it multiple times every day without even thinking about it. Then we come to some situations suddenly trying to think of a way to start a conversation and the mind just glitches out.

Nobody naturally starts a conversation by first thinking "hmmm, how should I start talking to this person". You just start talking about what comes to mind in that moment. Could be a question you're wondering, a comment about something you noticed about her or in your current environment or whatever your imagination can come up with.

Don't doubt the first idea that comes to mind, don't think, just listen to what your mind conjures up and go for it. Even something initially cringy can be saved if you know your way around humor and don't take yourself too seriously. There are more right ways than wrong ways to go about it.

I had issues with this as well. I went with the hardcore strategy of walking up as if about to say something without having a clue what to say, guess what, in those few seconds my mind sure as fvck figured out how to open. If only to save itself from extreme embarrassment, but the point is that it works and you won't believe it until after the fact. Immediately after the initial anxiety spike you'll go back to normal "having a conversation" mode. After a few shocks like that you'll most likely be desensitized, it's a shame really, I kinda liked the adrenaline rush it gave me...

 

[Lookatu]

Think about your surroundings and see if you can start something off as an indirect opener since you're just starting out. If she's receptive, the convo should flow easily from there. If not, since you were indirect, you could leave it at the short answer she gives you and move on without feeling embarrassed.

Questions though are more easier though and more innocent like you aren't trying to directly hit on her. Like Do you know where I can find such and such? From there you can gauge how helpful she is and how receptive she is. If she says she doesn't know and gives you a short response, you can just say thanks and move on.

I recommend talking to everyone you can and not just girls you're interested in, just to get comfortable in starting convos.

 

[bat soup]

It doesn't matter so much how you do it as much as the fact that you do. You can stutter, say something stupid and then fall over a chair but if the girl likes you she'll be happy to talk to you. Plus, with experience you'll learn.