"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Need some advice

H

heater528

Don Juan
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I am looking for some advice on what I should do with this situation. About 4 years ago while working an overnight shift me an my coworker saw a commercial for Ashley Madison. He told me what the site was about and I was amazed that people in my hometown would post their pictures and create a profile on a site that was for affairs. We started talking about the site and out of boredom and curiosity I created a profile to kill time that evening and see if we knew anyone on the site.

I used my real email address while creating the profile. I tried to make my account sound somewhat legitimate so I put a headline " Looking for excitement" I thought if the account looked like a troll account they would reject it.

We logged on and I quickly said wtf I do not know anyone on this site. We then searched my coworkers city and found the same. Me and my coworker laughed about it and I went to delete my account after 5 minutes. I got the message about the 19 dollar fee... said screw this scam and never even logged back on.

I was not married at the time but engaged and now I am married. I used one of those ashley madison search engines and my account pops up. My name is not on the details... my email is, the user name I created and the town.. with that heading and the wrong date of birth for me. I never used a credit card... never contacted a single person, never put any turn on's or fetish's.

My question is should I inform my wife that I am in this data base.? I tend to over react and am a natural worrier. In my mind the entire universe knows about my 5 minute profile and is conspiring against me. ( I know this is not true) But my stomach has been in knots over this. I do not exist anywhere else on the internet. I do not have a facebook, Linked account, Twitter, Instagram... nothing at all. My wife does not use the internet much either.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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dustmuffin

dustmuffin

Master Don Juan
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No...Don't say a word. It was done before marriage. If it comes up just say that it was before and you had forgotten about it.
 
A

Albatross953

Master Don Juan
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ontario
Agree, say nothing. If questioned tell the truth. "I've never cheated, it was before us"
 
speed dawg

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Telling a spouse you cheated when they do not know about it basically conveying to them that you don't really care about them. Because then, they have to live with that knowledge and make a decision. If they stay, you lose respect for them and the relationship eventually ends, and if they leave, well that's obviously what you wanted. It's the exact opposite of conventional logic.

If you're worried you might get caught, just have the story that the other posters said, ready. If you really didn't do anything, then who cares, she'll just have to believe you.
 
S

Slickster

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
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Canada
Use it as a get of jail card.

Wait until you are unhappy and want to leave her.

Then tell her.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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G

glass half full

Master Don Juan
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I wouldn't worry about it. It's past. And with a woman, far better left that way.
 
S

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
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Age
67
Location
South Dakota
NEVER volunteer sh1t they can use against you for anything. There was a murder near my home town about 30 years ago. It was unsolved until one of the 2 guys who did it was getting a DIVORCE..... his soon to be EX found her conscience.....20 years after the murder
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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