"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Need some advice

ISGambini

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Ok here's the deal. I met this chick saturday night at a house party...kiss close and number close. Sunday she invites me join her and some friends at a bar, I say cool but don't show because I was tired. So monday, I text her "couldn't make it last night, let's get together tonite". She agrees and comes over to chill, we drink and talk for about 2 hrs. She's giving major ioi but shyed away from kissing because I made her feel self conscious about having a cold and possibly spreading it..heh. Well, she and her girls had planned on going to a house party and she invites me but I decline because a) I didn't feel like going and b) I'd been hungover three straight days. She hints at coming back over later that night after the houseparty because she knows I was leaving town for the holidays....she doesn't show, which I don't expect her to. So the next day she texts me say she was sorry to be writing me so late (she'd said would text earlier in the day...wasn't super concerned about that) but that she'd been in bed all day because her cold had gotten worse and for me to get at her when I got back into town. I replied "aight got you...sickie". So my question is should I be contacting her before I get back in town to kinda stay on her mind, maybe like a merry christmas text or something? Honestly I kinda feel like I should just wait until I return to iniate contact to keep a type of mystery going and to avoid pandering to her. What do you guys think?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Weezy

Senior Don Juan
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I would wait.

She's already said her goodbyes for the holidays. Any further communication will be on the awkward side.

No reason to contact her, let her miss you over the holidays.. You've got important fun things to do with your family. She'll be that much more excited to kick it once they are over. Trust your gut.
 

Ease

Master Don Juan
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Id second that motion^

Would be a little awkward and unnesecery. Keep the mystery, she'll not forget about you dont worry.

I was faced with this situation some time ago where i did text, but i'd been dating the girl for 2+ weeks and had already done 3+ dates so id say its early for your case.
 

horaholic

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There would be absolutely nothing wrong with a merry xmas text. Do it really late at night, so she thinks about you while she's falling asleep.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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