"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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need some advice to get this back on track.

BAM001

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wall of text incoming :O
alright here goes.
theres a chick who apparently has had a huge thing for me for a couple months. i didnt know she had a thing for me at the time, and i randomly texted her out of boredom, and we had a long text convo. hung out a couple days later, she took my jacket home with her. said shed stop by where i work and dorp it off the next day. she stopped by and ended up staying there with me for a few hours(im a delivery driver so she just rode with me on some) things started getting kinda heated (she was all over me, hugging and grabbing my ass and stuff) but there were a couple problems. the first prob is that i was at work so i couldnt do much, and the second is that she is an ex of my close friend. i talked to my buddy about it and he said if anything happens it happens i dont care. alright all good. anyways she leaves, takes my jacket again. we made plans for the next wednesday, she cancelled cuz her brother needed help moving stuff to his new house. she texts me later that night and wants to hang out the next afternoon at her place. i tell her i may have plans but ill let her know later. i text her next day a little before i get off and tell her stuff cleared up and i am able to come over, she gives me directions and all that jazz. i go home and change and junk. but right before i head out she tells me that her mom is ****faced and she doesnt want me to see her like that or whatever. she appologizes alot and im just like its alright stuff happens, as long as its a legit reason im cool. she promises she will make it up to me tenfold. but i hear nothing from her for the next 3 days.

before those 2 days we were supposed to hang out she would text me all the time to see whats up and just want to talk, now nothing unless i start up a convo. i know shes interested, she told me straight up that she was. she also said shes not looking for a relationship she just wants to have fun... i dont wanna let that pass me up haha. im not sure if shes just playing those games women play to see if i will start up a convo with them alot or whatever.

so any advice on how to handle this? im thinking of just calling her and asking when shes gonna make it up to me and making plans. if she cancels again im just gonna next her.

thanks for reading :)
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Yuma

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Well, I really don't like texting when I'm trying to get with someone. There are occassions where it's acceptable, I think, but otherwise a phone call is miles better and much more affective.

I don't really have a clue as to what happened with her mom and all that and cancelling plans with you. But, CALL HER and set a date up. Don't give her a chance to flake on you. Go out with her, have some fun, and if she wants to go back to her or your place, cool. If you plan to just go over to her house, that'll set up a ton of excuses for you not to go.

If she fu*ks it up again, next her. There are a lot more women in the world who think the same way she does who won't mess up free good sex.
 

BAM001

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yeah, i dont know why i didnt just call her after a couple texts.

and i know her excuses were legit, cuz she has been back and forth between her house and her bros the past 2 weeks moving and whatnot. and all her friends know her mom is a horrible alcoholic. and it was her idea for me to come over. "want to come over to my place tomorrow and help me kick bowsers ass on mario 64? :D"

tomorrow (or today i guess lol) im definitely gonna call her and set something up. if she does happen to flake again, im done and out.

thanks for the advice man!
 

Yuma

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BAM001 said:
"want to come over to my place tomorrow and help me kick bowsers ass on mario 64? :D"
Hahah, nice.


BAM001 said:
tomorrow (or today i guess lol) im definitely gonna call her and set something up. if she does happen to flake again, im done and out.

thanks for the advice man!
No problem, bro. Happy hunting!
 

Armored

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What is so difficult about pressing enter?

Really, what is it?

/back to discussion.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BAM001

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ok, called her up, she wants to hang out for a bit tonight. then something saturday.
 

TheCzar

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Don't over-commit up front. Saturday aren't you hanging with your bros, going skydiving or something? *hint hint*

TC
 

Arsis

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TheCzar said:
Don't over-commit up front. Saturday aren't you hanging with your bros, going skydiving or something? *hint hint*

TC

Agreed

Do not give her the "Needy" feeling. Why? You could run into two different types of B*tch girls.

B*tch Girl number one = Siphons your money, your lifestyle, eliminates your friends, and ultimately your happiness.

B*tch Girl number two= She is crazy, literally ****ing crazy! She can't live life without you, she treats you like **** but you try and leave and she goes on an acid trip. Similar to the first but is crazy.

If you don't give her the "needy" she will notice early that you dont take orders from anyone, you are your own person!
 

BAM001

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first off, banged her same night i made the call. first time having sex as a single man :) woo haha.

TheCzar said:
Don't over-commit up front. Saturday aren't you hanging with your bros, going skydiving or something? *hint hint*

TC
i told her maybe saturday, because i usually have plans but if some time opened up ill see what i can do.

Arsis said:
Agreed

Do not give her the "Needy" feeling. Why? You could run into two different types of B*tch girls.

B*tch Girl number one = Siphons your money, your lifestyle, eliminates your friends, and ultimately your happiness.

B*tch Girl number two= She is crazy, literally ****ing crazy! She can't live life without you, she treats you like **** but you try and leave and she goes on an acid trip. Similar to the first but is crazy.

If you don't give her the "needy" she will notice early that you dont take orders from anyone, you are your own person!
i dont think im being needy. ive let her come to me every time except that call and once more to ask her a question about school for my brother (they both are in one of the same classes)

and i know both of those types... my last ex was both ahaha. i never realized till it was over haha.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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