"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Need some advice regarding my situation

BlueBird

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Hello. I’d appreciate some advice regarding my current situation. I don’t know if this is the appropriate place to post this, if it is not please just ignore it.

First a little background about me. I’m 23 years old and a stereotypical nerdy guy who has always been inept with women. Over the past few years I’ve made some improvements, but this is neither here nor there. Anyway, in the summer of 2005 I took a summer job and met a very nice girl. We’ll call her L. We hit it off and for a variety of reasons I believe she liked me. The rub was she had a serious boyfriend of 2+ years. I realized asking her out would be futile. I played it cool and we parted on good terms. From that point, I just tried to forget about her.

Fast forward to the summer of 2006. I took the same summer job. In talking to L’s close friend (she also worked at the summer job) I learned that L and her boyfriend had broken up (I don’t know the details of it) at the beginning of the summer, and she had decided to go to Europe instead of working. This brings us to my present situation.

I posted a single sentence message on L’s Facebook profile joking that she would rather travel the world than work at the ****ty job. She responded and asked how I was doing, etc. I answered. In her response, she suggested we hang out if I was in town and gave me her phone number (She is in undergrad 45 minutes away from where I attend law school). I gave her my number and told her to call me if she was in my town. That was two months ago.

This is my current situation and problem. I haven’t been to L’s town and she hasn’t called me. I’m really lost as to what I should do. There is a good chance I will be attending a football game in L’s town in three weeks. I am very hesitant to call her for a couple of reasons:

1. It has been so long I don’t know if calling her would still be appropriate.

2. I have heard that L has been hanging out with her ex. and that he will be in L’s town the weekend I plan to be there. This is as good a time as any to tell you about L’s ex. I’ve never met him, but I’ve gathered that he’s pretty much Superman. He was a first round MLB draft pick at the beginning of the summer, complete with a signing bonus of over 1.5 million dollars. He’s 6’4” and obviously athletic. I.E. all things that women like (although I have heard that he is a ****y ******* and pretty dumb FWIW). The point is I realistically can’t compete with this guy.

Now I realize that her blowing me off and rejecting me is always a possibility. I just can’t expect a sure thing. However, I’d really like to minimize my chances of being rejected. If it looks like I have no chance and walking away is the best option that is what I’ll do

If anyone has read through this extremely long post, thanks, I appreciate it. I’d really appreciate any constructive criticism or opinions. I just really don’t know what to do and don’t have anyone to give me an outside perspective. If I can clarify anything just let me know. Again thanks.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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BlueBird

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DevanE,

Thanks for the advice, and you are correct in assuming I am not a troll (as crazy as some parts of my story sound).

The advice I've been hearing so far has said to get over myself and just go for it. I definitely agree.

Again thank you for the advice.
 
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