"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need some advice on my situation.

SemperFi719

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Alright,
Long story short had a girl with very high IL in me. She told me she liked me and wanted to know if I liked her. I said that yeah I did and wouldnt mind getting to know her better. Havent asked her on a date because of time constraints. I called her only once a week and slowly but surely her interest in me has become less apparent. Some have told me that I didnt come on strong enough. I was adviced that I should show more interest (dont worry guys I'm able to control myself.) There are somethings though that make me think that I should just face the music, even though up to about a week or two ago the interest level was apparent.
I called her on tuesday last week and got her voicemail. Didnt leave a message, she didnt return my call. I see her in school and she didnt mention anything about the call, like if it didnt happen (lol). I call her on thursday and I finally am able to reach her but she was busy doing history hw (this is a valid excuse, she has history AP and the class is pretty demanding.) I tried calling her yesterday to see if we could see a movie together and all I got was her voicemail again and she hasnt returned my call. My thoughts on this are that she just didnt want to get her hopes up and stopped acting interested. I've already made the decision that yesterday was the last time i would call her. When I see her in school im gonna ask her if shed like to see a movie. Depending on her answer i'll know if i should go on or not. What do you guys think? Should I ask her or count my losses and walk away. Frankly I dont care, im just looking to have a good time with someone before I leave for the marines in july. thanks ahead of time.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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NYC Dude

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When someone shows interest in you, if you don't show it back two things can happen:
a) She'll forget about you
b) She'll like you more

Now however much you guys here like to think, option b happens A LOT LESS than option a does. Show the interest back however, and if she's attracted to you she will stay attracted. In your case, she has obviously gotten over you. There still may be a chance to get with her, but you've screwed up your first one already.
 

VIVAlasVEGASBaby

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Well, have you tried talking to her about why shes not returning your calls? Try talking to her (on the phone or at school; your choice) and just come across as "strong". Don't act like you are pissed and care a lot, but just tell her its a load of **** that she didn't return her calls. Tell her is unacceptable and that you want an apology.

Maybe she's just tired? You said she has been studying. Maybe she is just stressed out. Haven't you ever got home, totally stressed and tired as hell, to a phone with a few missed calls? What did you do? Sit down and call every person back? Doubtful, but i won't guess your actions.

Don't worry about it. Find someone who is serious about getting their ass out of the house to go on a date. Try meeting new people or maybe ask one of your other friends on a date. Don't worry so much about her not returning your calls, it's pretty common from what i've seen in high school.
 

SemperFi719

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Yeah you're probably right... she is very involved in a lot of things and I can imagine the stress has been getting to her lately as well. I guess tomorrow ill ask her why she hasnt returned my calls at all. As you said come off "strong" like it doesnt really bother me.
 

SemperFi719

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UPDATE: Today I saw her in school and asked her if she got my calls this weekend and she said no, that she didnt have her phone with her this weekend. (Sounds like a lie to me but whatever) I then ask her if she wants to do something this weekend and she said shell be busy. Since next weekend ill be away I suggested that we get together sometime soon and do something... she tells me maybe, she'll let me know. lol, girls are tricky little beasts ill tell ya. Guys, you know the word.... NEXT! What's your take on this?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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JSH

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Yep i woulda nexted her, ask her out before counting your losses, but if she rejects you without a firm counter offer, twice, then shes a gonna. Show interest back a little sooner next time maybe.
 

SemperFi719

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Yeah, I thank good ol' doc love for that lesson. I knew that if i didnt throw in the "can we get together some other time" line then I wouldn't be able to gauge her interest. Luckily i knew that or else I would think that she might still be interested.
 
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