"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Need serious advice about a work crush

AthletesRun24

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Hey guys. So there is this girl I have been crushin' on at work and I need some serious advice as to how to keep it going and keep it alive without it fading or getting awkward. I ask this because I know when you work with someone, you see them more than usual, and you can easily do things to mess it up and lose the attraction and mystery. Here's a brief background on the situation and about the girl:

She is a newer employee and I always thought she was cute but didn't see much of her or think anything of it. The more we started talking I became friends with her, more just work friends than anything. Every time she saw me she would talk to me and act like she was interested. Then I heard recently through the grapevine that she thought I was cute so now I'm really interested. There was a moment we worked together and she went to whisper something in my ear and I mistakenly turned my head the wrong way and we almost kissed - it was funny, awkward, and we just laughed about it but I believe that moment changed things cause it had us both imagining what that would actually be like. Then the other night I was playing basketball at the place I work (we have an arena) and I missed a shot and I heard her yell "nice shot" and she went back to working out, so when I got a break I came up behind her and grabbed her while she was on the treadmill to scare her in a flirty way. it was actually the first time we really touched and I could tell she liked it. So now we are texting more (she will initiate it sometimes, as will I) and we keep flirting and hinting at hanging out. So my question is: I am really into this chick, and I know she is into me too, so how do I keep this going? How do I keep the attraction alive without her losing interest? Thanks a bunch guys, I look forward to the feedback.

By the way, we are both in our 20's and in school if that makes any difference.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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adam225

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You NEED to GET THE FVCK UP AND ASK HER. It's that simple. Otherwise - don't bother with her. You need to simply not GIVE A FVCK.
 

thatfeel

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Don't dip your pen in the company ink. This may not be a serious job now but have some discipline and practice it now for the future.
 

RedZone

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I'm not keen on trying to date girls you work with for obvious reasons. If you're dead set on this though, I would ask her to go on a date as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the more awkward it will become. Trust me.
 

idoloveromance

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1. Ask her out on a casual "hang out"
2. Just keep on talking to her
3. keep on hanging out with her
4. now's the time to think about it
5. When you feel like you're still interested, then you're good to go
6. ask her out
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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DragonBlood

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AthletesRun24 said:
By the way, we are both in our 20's and in school if that makes any difference.
It does, no baggage and eager!

Dude this all sounds great, just go for it and quick! I give you a decent chance currently, but if you wait she will get bored and even more confused when I come along while you think it over. Also, look at all the girls you are LOSING by waiting.


Get back to us and let us know how it goes. The sky will not fall regardless.
 

Cremasta

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Get her doing active stuff with you, preferably things that will involve her getting hot and sweaty, and a lot of opportunities for physical contact.
The two things you want to do is 1. be fun, 2. make as much physical contact as possible.

The basketball is a good one for you. Next time you see her, just say something like "Hey, you're such an expert, come out on the court and lets see what you've really got :)"
Play nice, but forget the 'non-contact' part of the game. Grab her shirt while she tries to get past you, play dirty but in a friendly way.

Work your way up from that. "Man, I am thirsty, c'mon let's go get a drink"

Escalate to meeting up with her away from work as soon as you can.

Cheers
 
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