BlackDragon
Don Juan
I have a hard time talking with people. I need some examples of open ended questions so I can start becoming more social.
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
Need open ended questions
- Thread starter BlackDragon
- Start date
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Well, for the ladies:
'So where do you see yourself 10 years from now" - god, that will themselves entertained for a looong time, and provide plenty of opportunities for more open-ended questions once she kicks off. Once the opportunity arises, it never hurts to ask something like "I am a bit confused.... You don't see yourself with me???" If she doesn't pick up on that question, do a small neg-hit on that...
Another good one is (unless you are sincere lacking in positive male character traits, in which case it will just be an embarrassing show case of what you are not, when it should be the opposite) is: "So tell me, what is it about us men that you find so attractive?" (notice I included myself in what she is about to praise) Again, if she doesn't pick up on it and just says something stupid like 'because they're guys!' do a small neg-hit like "I know this guy you want to date then"... (pick any quintessential AFC)"
This is actually a good topic, imo. Always good to add open ended questions to one's repetoire.
More takers, please?
'So where do you see yourself 10 years from now" - god, that will themselves entertained for a looong time, and provide plenty of opportunities for more open-ended questions once she kicks off. Once the opportunity arises, it never hurts to ask something like "I am a bit confused.... You don't see yourself with me???" If she doesn't pick up on that question, do a small neg-hit on that...
Another good one is (unless you are sincere lacking in positive male character traits, in which case it will just be an embarrassing show case of what you are not, when it should be the opposite) is: "So tell me, what is it about us men that you find so attractive?" (notice I included myself in what she is about to praise) Again, if she doesn't pick up on it and just says something stupid like 'because they're guys!' do a small neg-hit like "I know this guy you want to date then"... (pick any quintessential AFC)"
This is actually a good topic, imo. Always good to add open ended questions to one's repetoire.
More takers, please?
Player_Supreme
Banned
1. As an ex-shy guy I believe that shyness is a extreme form of vanity. Your too stuck on you to open up and communicate with someone else. You constantly worry about what to say. You constantly worry about how the other person thinks about you...it's all about you.
2. You need to make it about them. Get out of your head and take an active interest in someone else's life story. Talk about them and you will never wonder what to say next.
3. I have seen extreme forms of this type of selfishness and self centered ness in the last few days. Examine these statements and you will see fools who are focused only on themselves:
" I just don't give a F@ck what they are thinking. I don't give a f@ck if they are computer programmers or business manager or whatever. That to me would be the most boring converstation ever."
"I dont have time to sit there and listen to a woman babble on about her life ,"
" I dont need to spend countless hours "getting into the mind of a chick"
" try to bait her with compliments, deep conversation, and slathering on the $hit so deep..she will eventually get bored with talking about herself"
Let me note that the last statement show how little this person knows about human nature. Women or anybody love to talk about themselves.
I am going to repost a post on communications for you. This thing is easy when you become interested in other people other than yourself
2. You need to make it about them. Get out of your head and take an active interest in someone else's life story. Talk about them and you will never wonder what to say next.
3. I have seen extreme forms of this type of selfishness and self centered ness in the last few days. Examine these statements and you will see fools who are focused only on themselves:
" I just don't give a F@ck what they are thinking. I don't give a f@ck if they are computer programmers or business manager or whatever. That to me would be the most boring converstation ever."
"I dont have time to sit there and listen to a woman babble on about her life ,"
" I dont need to spend countless hours "getting into the mind of a chick"
" try to bait her with compliments, deep conversation, and slathering on the $hit so deep..she will eventually get bored with talking about herself"
Let me note that the last statement show how little this person knows about human nature. Women or anybody love to talk about themselves.
I am going to repost a post on communications for you. This thing is easy when you become interested in other people other than yourself
Player_Supreme
Banned
Conversation and getting into her head
I wanted to add this to my States of Bein'ness post but decided to give it it's own thread. I started on this train after reading some recent threads such as the drive for coffee or not and a few others.
I think the reason so many are afraid of coffee dates is because they lack real conversational skills. I've read comments like:
" You are wasting your time collecting a life story from a woman who you may or may not ever see again on a first date.
and:
" You run the risk of being her emotional tampon right off the bat."
To:
"How is sitting in a coffee room listening to a woman babble on about her life considered "getting into her mind"?"
and:
" The only types of women that are into deep philosophical talks and discussions are the older women 35+"
To a host of other comments. Let me state the above comments are true if all you want to try to do is get a quick shag. But if your trying to build a team the pay attention:
One of the strongest traits of a player/seducer/pimp/whatever is his ability to use words. Success depends on your ability to stop thinking about what you want from that person and concentrate on what they want and what you can do to help her get it.
Remember the saying a pimp sells a dream. He finds out what the woman’s dreams are and convinces her that by joining his ship she can sail away to her dreams.
When you look at spitting your game (conversating) from this perspective, you no longer have to think about what to say to conversate. It becomes a natural process of uncovering her wants and desires. Basic salesmanship.
When you can guide and control the conversation you will gain power over her. Disraeli once said “Men govern with words”
Basic salesmanship psychology tells us that people in general have about 14 needs:
1. A sense of power or mastery
2. Ego-gratification, pride or importance
3. Financial success
4. Recognition
5. Social or group approval
6. Desire to win or be the first or to excel
7. A sense of belonging or roots
8. Creative expression
9. New Experiences
10. To do something worthwile
11. Liberty and freedom
12. Self-Esteem, dignity or sel-respect
13. Love
14. Emotional security.
When your seducing a woman when you can show her how to achieve her hidden desires you will have power over her. She will follow you and do almost anything for you. It is your goal during your convo to find out her dominant needs. To do this you have to get into her mind to find out what she really wants. You need to learn exactly what actually makes her as a person tick. You need to find the secret motivators that really turn her on.
This is the game at a whole nuther level. There are 5 areas or guidelines to concern yourselves with:
1. I’ve always said you gotta be genuinely interested in them as a person.
2. You gotta be an active listener. Look this phrase up if you don’t know it.
3. Encourage the girl to talk about herself. Ask her leading or open ended questions.
4. Make your convo in terms of her interests so that you can find out what she wants. A lot of fools blather on and on about what they want and the girl could care less.
5. Make her feel important. Feed her ego.
In questioning or interviewing her you’ve heard of the 5 w’s. Who, What, When, Where, Why and sometimes How. Which brings me to the how’s of this topic.
A lot of players are looking for the perfect opening line to start a conversation and I say it doesn’t exist. As a player you gotta learn to use the situation to your advantage. I like to start with a compliment. For example one of my current friends whom I’ve mentioned and used in my example of email seductions. Some of you will remember how I told her that she was very passionate and sensual, instead of some corny line to start it. I gave her a compliment that was unique and unusual.
There are so many ways to give a unusual compliment it’s not even funny. Let’s say that your talking to a girl who is a computer programmer. Now instead of trying a early c&f which I like to save for later you might say something like: “you know I’ve always admired how a programmer can make a box do what they want it to do, You mind telling me more about what it is that you do and how you do it?”
Or lets say your talking to a girl who is a branch manager: “You know Sally, I’ve always wished I knew more about business management. You mind telling me more about your position as a manager and the kind of work that you do?”
What you’ve done is given her a compliment. You respect her and her intelligence and that you value her as a person. Then your taking control by asking for information. You guys have heard me say that in a dance two people can’t lead. Well this also applies to conversations. One person will be the leader and another will be the follower.
Here is a little know fact that most people don’t know: “Most people are waiting for someone to tell them what to do” If you assume the power at the start the other person will follow you as their leader.
This is where you “be” the player/pimp/seducer/whatever you want to call it. When you step into that role you automatically become the dominant equation in the mix.
If you act like a nobody and put yourself down, others will treat you like a nobody and put you down too. But when you come from a position of power, others will treat you that way. That is what I ment when I told someone recently that I don’t get used as an emotional tampon when I conversate with a woman.
Spitting (conversating) your game on a woman takes no real skills. Just take an active interest in her life story and her needs and you will have ton’s of women at your beck and call literally. I am walking proof of this. As you’ve seen my proof in my IM convo’s and Emails.
Now in this game nobody ever said that you have to deliver the dream. All it takes is for her to believe that you can.
My point is take your time. Get into the girls head. When you do all she will be able to think about is that wonderful man that captivated her so much. All she will be doing is thinking how to get more of his time and attention...and you will be thinking about this as she bends over to suck ya dycks just to keep it going with you!
This is why I love coffee dates...because I know where they will lead to....can you guys hear the slurping now (and not of coffee drinks)!
I wanted to add this to my States of Bein'ness post but decided to give it it's own thread. I started on this train after reading some recent threads such as the drive for coffee or not and a few others.
I think the reason so many are afraid of coffee dates is because they lack real conversational skills. I've read comments like:
" You are wasting your time collecting a life story from a woman who you may or may not ever see again on a first date.
and:
" You run the risk of being her emotional tampon right off the bat."
To:
"How is sitting in a coffee room listening to a woman babble on about her life considered "getting into her mind"?"
and:
" The only types of women that are into deep philosophical talks and discussions are the older women 35+"
To a host of other comments. Let me state the above comments are true if all you want to try to do is get a quick shag. But if your trying to build a team the pay attention:
One of the strongest traits of a player/seducer/pimp/whatever is his ability to use words. Success depends on your ability to stop thinking about what you want from that person and concentrate on what they want and what you can do to help her get it.
Remember the saying a pimp sells a dream. He finds out what the woman’s dreams are and convinces her that by joining his ship she can sail away to her dreams.
When you look at spitting your game (conversating) from this perspective, you no longer have to think about what to say to conversate. It becomes a natural process of uncovering her wants and desires. Basic salesmanship.
When you can guide and control the conversation you will gain power over her. Disraeli once said “Men govern with words”
Basic salesmanship psychology tells us that people in general have about 14 needs:
1. A sense of power or mastery
2. Ego-gratification, pride or importance
3. Financial success
4. Recognition
5. Social or group approval
6. Desire to win or be the first or to excel
7. A sense of belonging or roots
8. Creative expression
9. New Experiences
10. To do something worthwile
11. Liberty and freedom
12. Self-Esteem, dignity or sel-respect
13. Love
14. Emotional security.
When your seducing a woman when you can show her how to achieve her hidden desires you will have power over her. She will follow you and do almost anything for you. It is your goal during your convo to find out her dominant needs. To do this you have to get into her mind to find out what she really wants. You need to learn exactly what actually makes her as a person tick. You need to find the secret motivators that really turn her on.
This is the game at a whole nuther level. There are 5 areas or guidelines to concern yourselves with:
1. I’ve always said you gotta be genuinely interested in them as a person.
2. You gotta be an active listener. Look this phrase up if you don’t know it.
3. Encourage the girl to talk about herself. Ask her leading or open ended questions.
4. Make your convo in terms of her interests so that you can find out what she wants. A lot of fools blather on and on about what they want and the girl could care less.
5. Make her feel important. Feed her ego.
In questioning or interviewing her you’ve heard of the 5 w’s. Who, What, When, Where, Why and sometimes How. Which brings me to the how’s of this topic.
A lot of players are looking for the perfect opening line to start a conversation and I say it doesn’t exist. As a player you gotta learn to use the situation to your advantage. I like to start with a compliment. For example one of my current friends whom I’ve mentioned and used in my example of email seductions. Some of you will remember how I told her that she was very passionate and sensual, instead of some corny line to start it. I gave her a compliment that was unique and unusual.
There are so many ways to give a unusual compliment it’s not even funny. Let’s say that your talking to a girl who is a computer programmer. Now instead of trying a early c&f which I like to save for later you might say something like: “you know I’ve always admired how a programmer can make a box do what they want it to do, You mind telling me more about what it is that you do and how you do it?”
Or lets say your talking to a girl who is a branch manager: “You know Sally, I’ve always wished I knew more about business management. You mind telling me more about your position as a manager and the kind of work that you do?”
What you’ve done is given her a compliment. You respect her and her intelligence and that you value her as a person. Then your taking control by asking for information. You guys have heard me say that in a dance two people can’t lead. Well this also applies to conversations. One person will be the leader and another will be the follower.
Here is a little know fact that most people don’t know: “Most people are waiting for someone to tell them what to do” If you assume the power at the start the other person will follow you as their leader.
This is where you “be” the player/pimp/seducer/whatever you want to call it. When you step into that role you automatically become the dominant equation in the mix.
If you act like a nobody and put yourself down, others will treat you like a nobody and put you down too. But when you come from a position of power, others will treat you that way. That is what I ment when I told someone recently that I don’t get used as an emotional tampon when I conversate with a woman.
Spitting (conversating) your game on a woman takes no real skills. Just take an active interest in her life story and her needs and you will have ton’s of women at your beck and call literally. I am walking proof of this. As you’ve seen my proof in my IM convo’s and Emails.
Now in this game nobody ever said that you have to deliver the dream. All it takes is for her to believe that you can.
My point is take your time. Get into the girls head. When you do all she will be able to think about is that wonderful man that captivated her so much. All she will be doing is thinking how to get more of his time and attention...and you will be thinking about this as she bends over to suck ya dycks just to keep it going with you!
This is why I love coffee dates...because I know where they will lead to....can you guys hear the slurping now (and not of coffee drinks)!
Good stuff, Master Supreme.
Talking to women should never be simpy a chore to get into their pants. personaly, I love the stuff. Not just listening, but especially challenging them with questions, playing around with them. It's just plain fun.
Talking to women should never be simpy a chore to get into their pants. personaly, I love the stuff. Not just listening, but especially challenging them with questions, playing around with them. It's just plain fun.
I dont like to start convo's with open ended questions. i enjoy starting off converstations with your typical routine of "hi" and just take it from there. After practicing you will realize that these open ended questions will create themselves. They will often say something that you would easily respond with an open ended question, it just takes skill and a quick mind to realize these opportunies and take advantage of them.
Beige
Don Juan
This is gold! Supreme - your post really changed my view on those things. I'll learn how to sell a dream to my friends, to girls I know and see what happens.
Thank you!
Walden
Master Don Juan
So what sort of open ended questions do you want?...thats great!
How did you choose open ended questions?...really? my cousin asks open ended questions that's so weird!
If you could be asking open eneded questions anywherein the world right now where would it be?...no way I just got backf rom touring there six weeks ago!
Do you have any heroes in open ended question askling?...Oh right I read his book last summer!
How did you choose open ended questions?...really? my cousin asks open ended questions that's so weird!
If you could be asking open eneded questions anywherein the world right now where would it be?...no way I just got backf rom touring there six weeks ago!
Do you have any heroes in open ended question askling?...Oh right I read his book last summer!
