need help

[phillyb]

whats up?

So I have been seeing this girl since Aug. We have had arguments and a fight here and there. But , overall it's going pretty good. Well, recently she has been in contact with her ex-boyfriend. She hung out with him one night after we had an argument. After this I told her good riddance. She wanted me back, and now things are going good again. However, she still finds the need to keep in conact with the guy. Her excuses for this are: "he's needy, he's is hypochondriac, he doesn't have alot of friends...and he is having a hard time letting go" She says there is nothing there between he and her and that I should be confident that nothing is going on... I try to show that I am , but ..you know how it is. They were an item for like 3 years. She said if I had an ex who was needy and wanted to talk to me she would understand. I said yeah, right! I don't know, I guess the best thing for me to do is not worry about it and not look insecure....but it's damn hard to do. Should I just drop it and pretend it does not bother me? It's like, shes not trying to hide anything so I guess that's good, but still.....It's about respect, ya know?

 

[Desdinova]

An ex should be just that - an EX.

Her excuses for this are: "he's needy, he's is hypochondriac, he doesn't have alot of friends...and he is having a hard time letting go"

That describes about half of the male population. The poor babies can't fend for themselves!

The problem that comes about is she's spending time with a previous lover that she *should* be spending with you. Women feel sorry for these guys and don't want to hurt them, so they keep them around as friends. However, the guy most likely has the same feelings that you do for your woman. His desperation will eventually get worse and she'll probably end up getting gifts from him.

There's a fine line between telling a woman that her ex should remain an ex and not looking insecure.

Well, recently she has been in contact with her ex-boyfriend. She hung out with him one night after we had an argument. After this I told her good riddance. She wanted me back, and now things are going good again. However, she still finds the need to keep in conact with the guy.

You seem to have already defined the line by ditching her once over this issue, but it sounds like she hasn't learned anything.

Even though you've told her previously, let her know that you won't tolerate this 5hit. Also, you may want to play on her emotions. Let her know that she's preventing him from moving on with his life because she's feeding his need for her. He's suffering because she keeps him around.

 

[The Rake]

This chick is playing you for a fool. You goofed up by taking her back. Now, she's trying to rationalize her disrespect for you. Show her the door, plain and simple. A DJ has no use for a woman's EXs and no use for women who keep in constant touch with EXs.

 

[NewMan]

She obviously has feelings for her ex.

I can buy that she doesn't want him.

He wants her. 90% certain.

Now, the only problem here - is that if she wants you why would she jeapodise the relationship?

It's my belief that there has to be some kind of character flaw with people who want to maintain a relationship with an ex when it is over.

I can accept the occasional phone conversation.

She is putting herslf into situations that COULD open her up to other men and opportunities.

I think long and hard about this.

But ultimatums will not work. She is either the kind of woman that is emtionally weak - or she isn't.,

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

She is sexing this dude or will be soon!!! When you broke it off and she ran back to her ex was an obvious clue - she disrespected you and you took her back?? When you lose respect from a woman you lost your power as a man in her eyes!!! It is over and she is playing you!!