Need Help

[GaryUranga]

Read the 2nd parargraph if you dont feel like having the long read:

So this girl and I kinda "brokeup" we were never really dating or anything cause we live in diff towns, we just were really tight together and liked eachother a lot, anyways we really wanted it to workout (meanwhile I was DJing girls in my town obviously but I liked this 1 girl more than any of the others), so I went on vacation for Xmas and while I was gone she was missing me like mad and we used to be light on telling eachother "I lub you" (it was just a playful thing we never said anything about actual love) as I started missing her I started telling her "I lub you" a lot more, anyways, I come home and she starts being kinda cold to me so I dunno why I freak out and tell her we should stop this weird "relationship" (keep in mind that Im still DJing girls near me ) and she gets really down she tells me "I can only deal with today " so since I said that we started fighting, then suddenly 2weeks ago she tells me "I need something more".. its fair, we cant hold eachother back no matter how much we wanted eachother.. a bit of time went on and suddenly she starts flirting with this guy, and Ive been improving and killing that AFC in me but I just fraked out and became jealous, started being really down about it, I finally talk to her about it and she tells me she really wanted us to workout but its too hard for her and that if I were there she wouldnt even be lookin at this guy but that she has a crush on him.. some time has passed and she seems to be falling for this guy, bummer for me (Im probably being a bit unfair here)

Anyways, I know I just gotta move on and do my thing for now, the DJ way but I REALLY want the option of her and I to be open in the future, so how should I go on about this? Im cool with just being chill with her till sometime in the future but I dont wanna fall into her friend zone, also Im really jealous about how she could change her feelings for me so fast, shes not talking much to me, she says she doesnt want to be more attached than she already is and thats why shes pushing me away, Im just wondering how should I go on about this, Im really unexperienced in this situation. Right now Im just giving it time and not talking much to her trying to not seem needy and acting as if I dont care, but its killing me, so... help!

 

[Docs]

She's trying to tell you she doesn't want you to get hurt because she fell for another guy. That's the sad truth.

As for the future, and wanting to be chill with her and everything, you CANNOT think about that. All you can do is move on. Disassociate this girl with feelings, meet other chicks, whatever you have to do, because this girl is gone.

As for acting towards her, start leaning towards a open flirty friends deal. No feelings attached.

 

[GaryUranga]

Yeah shes pretty much mentioned that she doesnt wnat to hurt me and stuff, altought she also knows my friend and she asked him about "making a decition that could ruin a possible relationship" so I dunno is shes all that GONE, Im meeting up in the summer again with her, what should I do till then? She seemed really into having an "us" in the future butt its retarded to keep this going and not going for people that are clse to us, anyways for now Im moving on, I just want to keep the option open.

On a side note, should I communicate that Im over this whole thing?

 

[The Shocker]

"I lub you?" How fcking gay is that?

 

[Docs]

Yeah shes pretty much mentioned that she doesnt wnat to hurt me and stuff, altought she also knows my friend and she asked him about "making a decition that could ruin a possible relationship" so I dunno is shes all that GONE, Im meeting up in the summer again with her, what should I do till then? She seemed really into having an "us" in the future butt its retarded to keep this going and not going for people that are clse to us, anyways for now Im moving on, I just want to keep the option open.

On a side note, should I communicate that Im over this whole thing?

I think she's asking your friend whether going out with the other guy will cause you to be hurt. The summer is 5 months away, and a lot can happen between now and then.

And basically, you should be striving to not be affected by girls decisions. It's working for me at least

 

[GaryUranga]

Yeah I'll just give it time for now and I wont be too available to her, it'll probably work itself out if Im not too available and dont act needy

 

[GaryUranga]

ok an update on this, the thing with the other guy didnt workout it lasted like..3 weeks? something like that, after that she kinda came back to me I obviously didnt "take her back" cause thatd be AFC, anyways time has passed for a while she seemed to "want me back" she doesnt really talk about it but I can read signals, she gets really upset when I ignore her or "argue" for exaple before yesterday she was telling me about her plans for university, she kinda commented on seeing my friend if she went to uni with him (who she liked before me) I kept it cool and tried not to get into her emotional converesation about not knowing where to go and I told her I wasnt gonna deal with her emotionalness, she seems pretty upset now.

She told me a while back that she was leaving it always up to me how we should be, however evrytime I neg her or try to use C+F it upsets her, like every lil thing I say is just too important, anyways I have no idea what the hell is going on, I dont wanna "discuss it" cause given the situation I think attraction would just drop and everytime I try to attract her its just like this, Im pretty sure shes hiding something and Im just 3 months away from seeing here again, help.

 

[EdHunter]

Go after other girls...it's the best idea for several reasons.
1. You might find someone way better than this girl, which would render the whole issue moot.
2. You'll have fun and gain confidence---experience, too, if nothing else.
3. It'll get your mind off of her and let put you into a more chilled-out mindset.
4. It will increase your value in her eyes.
GFTOW, my friend. GFTOW.

 

[GaryUranga]

yeah Im definetly gonna do that, but still I think theres a shot there, how should I go on that (btw, theres scarcity of girls at my uni Im really trying to meet them somewhere else but there really none atm)