Need help with shy girl

[Peaks&Valleys]

Okay, so, I go to the gym 5 nights a week, and I see a lot of the same people there obviously. Well, there's two chicks there I wouldn't mind banging. One of them is an Asian that's got a body to kill for, but a face that's a 5 on a good day. I've talked to her a few times and I'm pretty sure I could get her number, but I honestly don't know if I want it haha. Not quite a brown bagger but I would need some type of mind altering substance in me to thoroughly enjoy that one.

The other, the one I'm more interested, is the shy chick. I've talked to her a couple times, a few things here and there on the elyptical, one comment while we were working out next to each other. She doesn't say much to me, but she doesn't say much to anyone. I've honestly never seen her talk to anyone at the gym, except for the few things she's said to me. She's got a real submissive demeanor about her and when I do talk to her, she seems nervous. She's not bangin hot but she's the epitome of the girl next door. Doesn't wear makeup (to the gym at least), but is all natural, and she works out, so she's got an amazing skinny, somewhat toned body, and very cute. HB7.5-8 IMO. She's at the gym when I am, which is late around 8pm, and she takes her time there, so it seems like she doesn't have anyone to go home to...

Like I said, I have opened her a couple times and she's responded well, but she doesn't initiate or really try to continue on the conversation. I just started talking to her recently, so I'm just taking it as a longer pickup, let her warm up to me, get comfortable, then get the number and move on from there. However, I'd rather just get it done with, and get going with this thing....

I don't get out much, at all, I work from home during the week, and I work most weekend nights. So, my opportunities are scarce....and with this one, when she's there it does seem like she's giving me IOI's....so, I feel I should be in, but....I'm not quite sure how to proceed....

Any suggestions? If there are any...or just keep doing what I'm doing?

 

[TheCWord]

Like I said, I have opened her a couple times and she's responded well, but she doesn't initiate or really try to continue on the conversation. I just started talking to her recently, so I'm just taking it as a longer pickup, let her warm up to me, get comfortable, then get the number and move on from there. However, I'd rather just get it done with, and get going with this thing....

I don't get out much, at all, I work from home during the week, and I work most weekend nights. So, my opportunities are scarce....

You know the answer, P&V. You just need your buddies to write it out for you. I'm happy to be that friend.

No problem keeping things friendly and if, in the long run, she starts opening up then great. But right now my concern for you is that scarcity is putting you at risk for barreling into a situation where you don't have the green light.

I feel like if you had a lot of other plates spinning right now, you wouldn't waste your time thinking about a girl who, "doesn't initiate or really try to continue on the conversation." That's just low interest, and we of SoSuave don't pursue if there is low interest. I KNOW you know that.

These things go in cycles, you know how it is. Maybe you're in a dry spell, but that doesn't mean you've got to start forcing things. That never works out well. It doesn't feel good to pursue a girl who isn't giving you any clear signs that she is interested in anything more than the briefest of gym small talk.

Don't start reaching. You're going to start seeing things that actually aren't there. Soon enough you will talk to a woman at the gym or on the street, and after you're done saying your piece she's going to ask you a question. Then another question. Then she's going to smile big and play with her hair while your chat...

Then you're going to say, "Wow. This is pretty clear as day. I don't even need to go on to SoSuave and ask my buddy TheCWord how I should proceed. I feel confident that when I ask her for her number I'm going to get it and we'll be on a date shortly thereafter."

THAT'S the type of situation you want. No need to try and turn sh*t into gold just cause you're bored.

P.S. For what it's worth, when I encounter the behaviour you're describing it's almost always a girl with a long term boyfriend who she's happy with. It's not that she's repulsed by you, she just doesn't want to flirt when she's committed. I'd expect my girlfriend to do the same at the gym.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Thanks Cword, haha yeah, I figured as much......."actions" right. Maybe I'm making the excuse that she's just shy.

However, it just seems like she's showing interest, I've been seeing her there for a couple months now, and it seems like she's giving off a vibe.... the indirect type of interest. One time, no joke, I was doing pull downs and she went over to the mat area, 20 feet in front of me, and started doing the splits! I was like come on....and it was only me and her in this particular area of the gym. Maybe I'm just being delusional.

I don't know man, maybe she's in an LTR like you said, that would make sense by the way she's acting.

I'm thinking I should just ask her straight up..."are you single?" If I get the opportunity I'm going to do that.

 

[TheCWord]

I'm thinking I should just ask her straight up..."are you single?" If I get the opportunity I'm going to do that.

You can be a little less direct if you'd prefer to avoid any awkwardness at your gym. If you're being flirty and she has a boyfriend she'll usually find a way to tell you. You can assist her with that by asking what she's getting up to this weekend...

Actually, use my personal favorite, "So, what do you get up to when you're not training for your big UFC match here?"

Or whatever. "What are you up to when you're not [doing the thing that you always see her doing]?" probably has a close to 100% success rate in determining if there's a boyfriend or not This is the opportunity she's been waiting for to politely and subtly let you know she's off the market. Even if she's not smart enough to consciously drop the BF bomb, if she has a serious BF then chances are they do a lot together and this will come up when she tells you what her life is like outside of the gym.

"Oh, you know, I just work wherever, I'll do yoga sometimes, my boyfriend's in a band so I'll check out his shows..."

Don't like that one, P&V? Well I've got another one for ya, but it relies on the boyfriend being of the live-in variety. Get her talking about her living situation. Just gear the conversation towards where she lives or something about her apartment/house/whatever and listen for her to use the word "WE." If you hear that word and aren't clear if it's a boyfriend or not, ask, "How many roommates?" If she has a live-in boyfriend, she'll say, "Just my boyfriend." Anything else then it's just roommates.

Seriously, drop one of the above next time you see her at the gym. At least you'll then know if she's single. If she is then, hell, why wouldn't a single girl accept a date from a single guy as long as he's reasonably attractive and his game's on point?

Can't believe I'm giving this away for free!

 

[VladPatton]

I never could get anywhere with those closed, dark and brooding shy bıtches. Let us know how it goes and you cracked that nut.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Good stuff CWord. Yeah, you know, that should come out in normal conversation, I guess you have to have a normal conversation first, ha. Sometimes chicks don't get it though..."oh, he wants to know if I'm single, why??" derp!

I'm definitely going to pull one of those lines next time I talk to her. Didn't make it to the gym last night, but I'm going tonight. I'll keep you informed.

And yes, Vlad, these shy ones are another breed.