Need Help with LTR **** tests

[whynot123]

Ever since I tried to be more happy, positive (I was angry and depressed) and more alpha: life got amazing. My wife gave me the best sex, respect and everything I’ve ever asked for: validation, etc.

however, I’ve had to withdraw to feel in control and powerful, and masculine and just my new strong self.
I’ve changed and I’m not a pessimist or angry anymore. I’m more strong and don’t need, I may want but I’m not needy anymore.

I like me.

however, I’ve had to withdraw to feel in control and powerful, and masculine and just my new strong self. Withdraw from my wife. So my own thing.

but every time my wife gets these in love feelings I allow myself to be intimate to an extent with her bc that’s the only way I can feel them too.

I still maintain some frame but not totally and I end up hating the way I feel and not enjoying the in love feelings. I then return to the withdrawal. It’s tough bc I want to enjoy the feelings and I constantly feel like I have dual personalities which is absolutely exhausting.

so to my question: tonight I was out with my wife and kids and at the restaurant the wait was really long and I called the manager. He was rude. My old self would’ve gone off on him. My new self didn’t care.

My wife says: “The old you would have told him off.” It’s weird bc she always complained about me doing anything like that. She hated it, it embarrassed her.

then later: she said as a semi (not dangerously at all) pulled in front of us as I drove: “I would’ve honked at him.” This is a woman who never honks literally even when people deserved it. And she used to hate how much I honked.

How do you handle these situations?

 

[2Rocky]

 

[Barrister]

Ever since I tried to be more happy, positive (I was angry and depressed) and more alpha: life got amazing. My wife gave me the best sex, respect and everything I’ve ever asked for: validation, etc.

however, I’ve had to withdraw to feel in control and powerful, and masculine and just my new strong self.
I’ve changed and I’m not a pessimist or angry anymore. I’m more strong and don’t need, I may want but I’m not needy anymore.

I like me.

however, I’ve had to withdraw to feel in control and powerful, and masculine and just my new strong self. Withdraw from my wife. So my own thing.

but every time my wife gets these in love feelings I allow myself to be intimate to an extent with her bc that’s the only way I can feel them too.

I still maintain some frame but not totally and I end up hating the way I feel and not enjoying the in love feelings. I then return to the withdrawal. It’s tough bc I want to enjoy the feelings and I constantly feel like I have dual personalities which is absolutely exhausting.

so to my question: tonight I was out with my wife and kids and at the restaurant the wait was really long and I called the manager. He was rude. My old self would’ve gone off on him. My new self didn’t care.

My wife says: “The old you would have told him off.” It’s weird bc she always complained about me doing anything like that. She hated it, it embarrassed her.

then later: she said as a semi (not dangerously at all) pulled in front of us as I drove: “I would’ve honked at him.” This is a woman who never honks literally even when people deserved it. And she used to hate how much I honked.

How do you handle these situations?

In the two examples you cite they aren’t even worth sweating brother. You’re worrying over nothing. I don’t think your wife is sh1t testing - just making observations. Don’t over-analyze. I’m guilty of it too. Gets harder not to once you’re red pilled.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Ever since I tried to be more happy, positive (I was angry and depressed) and more alpha: life got amazing. My wife gave me the best sex, respect and everything I’ve ever asked for: validation, etc.

however, I’ve had to withdraw to feel in control and powerful, and masculine and just my new strong self.
I’ve changed and I’m not a pessimist or angry anymore. I’m more strong and don’t need, I may want but I’m not needy anymore.

I like me.

however, I’ve had to withdraw to feel in control and powerful, and masculine and just my new strong self. Withdraw from my wife. So my own thing.

but every time my wife gets these in love feelings I allow myself to be intimate to an extent with her bc that’s the only way I can feel them too.

I still maintain some frame but not totally and I end up hating the way I feel and not enjoying the in love feelings. I then return to the withdrawal. It’s tough bc I want to enjoy the feelings and I constantly feel like I have dual personalities which is absolutely exhausting.

so to my question: tonight I was out with my wife and kids and at the restaurant the wait was really long and I called the manager. He was rude. My old self would’ve gone off on him. My new self didn’t care.

My wife says: “The old you would have told him off.” It’s weird bc she always complained about me doing anything like that. She hated it, it embarrassed her.

then later: she said as a semi (not dangerously at all) pulled in front of us as I drove: “I would’ve honked at him.” This is a woman who never honks literally even when people deserved it. And she used to hate how much I honked.

How do you handle these situations?

That's her commentary, she feels comfortable enough around you to express herself and her ideas, that's a good thing. Maybe when you used to be a hot head she kept it to herself.

Great to hear you're staying independent. Now you can work on interdependence. You have your dragons that you slay independently, and your wife is your relief, rest, and play time when you want a break.

There is nothing to fight, simply keep in mind that cuddly feelings with your wife are a temporary rest from meeting independent goals. When it feels like you're getting complacent withdraw some more.

Your wife is there to support you, not be your crutch. Love your wife, but love your passion more.

 

[GT40]

Dude those aren’t SHT tests. You’re over thinking it.