need help with frigging oneitis

[kickureface]

i thought i read all i did about oneitis and what to do after. i thought i got rid of it about a month ago. but it came back like a week later and now, as most of you know, oneitis is draining my life

what can i do? i can't cut off completely all contact since i see her in volunteering about twice a week. i stopped thinking about her for that little while i thought i pulled through, but now my mind is infested with thoughts of her.

i need some more help and advice guys because oneitis is lame and nothing is working atm.

 

[Driven2Succeed]

i dunno, just be nice and civil man.. its not that big of a deal brother..

u dont have to cut her off completely, just dont be pathetic and sh1t.. if u truly like her than only time and other girls are gonna get rid of her in ur head

 

[kickureface]

i dunno, just be nice and civil man.. its not that big of a deal brother..

u dont have to cut her off completely, just dont be pathetic and sh1t.. if u truly like her than only time and other girls are gonna get rid of her in ur head

thanks but im not really sure what you mean by nice and civil. i'm not making a big deal about it in public but oneitis just messes me up inside

 

[Ziggy]

If you want to get over your oneitis quicker you need to get more options in your life. Suddenly that girl won't be on your mind as much when you've got lots of options. So get out there and meet some new women. Either that or busy yourself with other things you love. Because sitting around with nothing to do won't help.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

because you let it man. hey i just had this happen to me recently and i realized that it was me that lost composure. any awkwardness between you two is usually caused by you. really if you have nothing to be awkward about, then something is wrong with them if they are. its when you start not being yourself and pretend to be all nice to them or if you're worried about what it'll mean between the two of you. it doesn't mean shyt, if you show that nothing of what happened or what you think you did matters well then that is way better than leaving no chance of her NOT figuring it out.

i mean u can guess which of these will produce more of a positive result can't you? a) you show up to where she is and you act shy, nervous, faltered or any signs that has you worried about what she is thinking of you. b) you show up unbothered by her presence and act in your own world, meaning you're friendly and nice, but you don't allow her into your boundary. any test she throws at you to test your character, you can easily block it by having fun with it.

if she says something that throws you off, you fail, but if you take what she says to you and turn it into something funny OR you don't give a straight answer, that shows you're above her. that's where you rid yourself of oneitis and back into the mind set of being the chooser, not the choosen. it'd be better to have a girl hate to lose you than love to leave you.

 

[kickureface]

thanks for the replies guys
shoot i guess this was important that i forgot to add:
we were kinda dating for 2 months ish casually and she left me when summer started wanting to hang out more in groups rather as a couple, says she. but then i realize she kinda got back with her ex-date. so yeah, that's the oneitis problem im trying to get rid of.

 

[kickureface]

thanks. any more?